| #1 WarLeaderJustin[82292] |
| spider-wo083.proxy.aol.com |
| First with style. |
| #2 <font color="red">Char4Life</font>[82293] |
| extfw.dcgov.org |
| first, time to read |
| #3 <font color="red">Char4Life</font>[82294] |
| extfw.dcgov.org |
| second and third, not first. damn u |
| #4 Genesis[82296] |
| ubr-26.98.113.pinecastle.cfl.rr.com |
Totaly Cool! Just full of suspence the whole time for me. Man that would suck to get hunted by a DT, and not even be able to see it. Keep up the good work =)
~Genesis |
| #5 <font color="red">Char4Life</font>[82297] |
| extfw.dcgov.org |
| ack, a fanfic |
| #6 MacBeth44[82299] |
| spider-tl051.proxy.aol.com |
| If you don't want to read it, than shut up and make no comments. |
| #7 kindalikeurface[82301] |
| spider-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
plz start a www.fanfics.com
because they are getting old |
| #8 Cearas[82304] |
| cache06.syd.optusnet.com.au |
Urgh, I stopped after this bit: <i>"The sweltering heat was <b>intensified by the insulated interior</b> of the farthest bunker from the command center"</i>
Speak some fucking english man. I also suggest getting a real name, ass. |
| #9 testosterone[82307] |
| mkc-65-26-143-252.kc.rr.com |
| how can something this short be "slow" :( |
| #10 <font color="red">Char4Life</font>[82308] |
| extfw.dcgov.org |
| dont tell me dont make any damn comments. ill comment on this batt...oh wait! its a fanfic! this must be fanfic.com cause its obviously not battlereports.com due to the fact we have so many people writing these fanfics for this fanfic site. make a battlereport goddammit, and u leave your self wide open for comment for fanfics. |
| #11 banana[82309] |
| extfw.dcgov.org |
| ummm...u ask for opinion then u say u dont care about those peopel who dont like fanfics and u dont want peeps to be jerks? so basically u are just asking for good comments only. ahhh, well since u asked we must obey right? well fu. ty. |
| #12 TrialByFear[82318] |
| 210.9.195.23 |
| lol |
| #13 <font color=yellow> |]agomar[82319] |
| static-20.itcanada.com |
Your writing is really, really good. I won't comment on the fanfic though =). I'd give you the same advice I'd give myself: less adjectives!
|
| #14 Slimmyslimslim[82322] |
| 156.63.85.10 |
No no non onononoono
gayyyayayyy |
| #15 BUU[82324] |
| borderman.humble.k12.tx.us |
uh..Cearas .. what are you going on about? Sounds like perfectly good english to me.. except it would be <i>
"by the bunker farthest"</i>
Instead farthest bunker.. other than that. |
| #16 HKRules[82328] |
| 12.107.65.128 |
Congrats, one more comment with no flame, because I want to do one too (and you pimps out there can scream all you lilke, fu)
Do more, Macbeth |
| #17 HKRules[82329] |
| 12.107.65.128 |
| Did you recently watch "Predator"? |
| #18 WarLeaderJustin[82332] |
| spider-mtc-th062.proxy.aol.com |
| Excellent.<font color="black">For a trash can. :( cmon, even I like fan fics, but too much is TOO Much! |
| #19 {R}-Psyco[82342] |
| host-216-76-176-152.gso.bellsouth.net |
| I admit it was pretty good except for the unrealistic facts about bunkers and the fact that the marine woulb be safer inside the goddamn bunken then out. ever heard of a sci vescel? well heres the point of my post, this is bettlereports and not for fanfics. save them for the mb or somewhere that asks for fanfics. u should keep writing them, just now here! |
| #20 Star134[82346] |
| spider-ti042.proxy.aol.com |
Very well written and i look forward to the next installment.
To everyone complaining about the fanfics, no one forces you to the read them. |
| #21 MacBeth44[82347] |
| spider-tp021.proxy.aol.com |
| First of all, I would like to say that in my defense, I use adjectives to descirbe things that happen. Most people like to be able to visualize what they are reading, and most good authours do this through the use of adjectives. Secondly, I don't know much about bunkers because ::Dramatic music:: I've never been in one, if you want hyper realism, you probably shouldn't be reading fanfics about a science fiction game setting. Third, when I said that I don't want people to be jerks, I meant that I don't want simple comments of "It sucked" or "You're stupid." And last, you must be pretty pathetic to waste your time telling people how much fanfics suck, in a comments section for fanfics. |
#22  [82349] |
| dun1-2-1-Richmond.in.skyenet.net |
Not long enough to stand alone in my opinion and the cliffhanger was gay.
Other than that, not bad.
5
Dref |
| #23 THE ASS BLASTER[82363] |
| spider-mtc-te011.proxy.aol.com |
BRO, MACBETH , THAT JUNK ROCKED MAN!!!!
TOTALLY ORIGINAL, AND FULL OF SUSPENSE.
LISTEN UP PEOPLE STOP BUSTING HIS BALLS FOR POSTING A FANFIC, YOU GUYS ARE JUST JEALOUS CAUSE YOU CAN'T WRITE LIKE HIM...OR ATLEAST COME UP WITH AN IDEA LIKE IT... SO SCREW YOU ALL!!!
KEEP WRITING, MY SHAKESPEARIAN BROTHER.
|
| #24 MacBeth44[82368] |
| spider-wa082.proxy.aol.com |
| Okay, another comment on the comments. Cearas, my name is fine, and you are exactly the jerk I was referring to int he opening statement of my story. As far as the bunker being far safer than the outside. If you were reffering to when the main character ran, would you wanna' be in a cramped space with a Dark Templar? Didn't think so. |
| #25 SquattingSeaGull[82370] |
| extfw.dcgov.org |
| man, some people just cant take critisism. thats what the fucking comment section is for, to give people the chance to express themselves and say whats on there minds. dont expect only good comments when it comes to fanfics cause some people just get sick of them. then there are people who like them so they critise on them. so live with it people, if peeps wanna be jerks then they will be, if they wanna praise it they will, but dont tell someone not to make comments in the comments section. story was good, but this is br.com. |
| #26 MatrisKing[82372] |
| caribbean-31.dialin.uakron.edu |
www.fanfic.com? Feh...
King |
| #27 Dillihole[82413] |
| 1Cust239.tnt11.tacoma.wa.da.uu.net |
Wow, this story had no drama whatsoever. It's like one of those cheesy B-movies. No character, no drama, no flair. Just adjective abuse.
If you need to use adjectives to describe what's going on, then you have alot to learn about writing sunshine. |
| #28 Star134[82433] |
| spider-mtc-ti022.proxy.aol.com |
The story seemed fine to me..if not a little short.
Perhaps you could write something better Dillihole?
Maybe give us an example on how and how not to use adjectives? |
| #29 Dillihole to Star134[82445] |
| 1Cust65.tnt5.tacoma.wa.da.uu.net |
Read some of Monty Pylons work, they are a prime example of not needing adjectives to tell a story, or have the reader visualize what's going on.
Macbeth's stories upset that visualization by using too many adjectives.
And I have other intrests in my life then to write a fan fic just to appease you. But I do enjoy this site, and enjoy reading GOOD battle reports and fan fics. |
| #30 MacBeth44[82449] |
| spider-wa042.proxy.aol.com |
| I thank you for your intelligent or semi-intelligent responses. I have realized the error of my ways as far as adjectives are concerned. I tend to want people to see what I see, not what they create for themself. This is hardly a story, and I have written much better, but this is my first attempt at science-fiction, let alone SC. I apologize if I hindered the structure of your day by forcing my writing upon you, and I apologize that I didn't realize that you didn't like fan-fics, I guess I'll just stop writing them cause I wouldn't want to ruin your delicate little minds. (That was sarcasm, the "stop writing them" part) |
| #31 Dillihole[82453] |
| 1Cust65.tnt5.tacoma.wa.da.uu.net |
Okay man, I've been trying to be nice. Saying you are forcing me to read your writing is egocentric. You don't want advice about your writing, then you shouldn't be posting it.
And yes, I LIKE fan-fics, I was just telling you the problem with yours. If you don't want to change, and continue using adjectives like this, then do so, and each and everytime, I will let you know about it.
Your stories lack imagination, and have no dramatics, just lots of adjectives. I guess if the others just enjoy that, then so be it. But I like a story that has drama, and good plot lines with characters that are developed properly. You do none of this, just through all these colorful words out there and expect praise for it.
Uh-uh sorry sunshine, you get no praise for cheesy writing, but maybe you will learn. |
| #32 [82470] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
Macbeth,
Takes some advice from someone who has submitted a lot of reports here. No matter how good your work is, you're going to get flamed. If you bitch about the flaming, you'll just get flamed more. Just do what I do when I read my comments sections, look for sincere suggestions for improvement, appreciate the praise, and ignore mindless flames.
Cheer,
Dref |
| #33 Star134[82525] |
| spider-wl081.proxy.aol.com |
I have read Monty's work and he has become one of my favorite authors on the site. (btw where is monty?) Also i didn't ask you to write a fanfic but only to provide an example. You seem to be the only one complaining about his use of adjectives and i am still not sure what you are complaining about. Don't refer me to someone elses work, give an example in your words as to what you think needs to be improved. You told him what you disliked, now provide some intelligent advice.
He asked for criticism, not insults. (comment 28) |
Home
Forum
Starcraft Tournaments
