| #1 Convider[163756] |
| toronto-HSE-ppp4110710.sympatico.ca |
| It got revised so much that it turned into a Starcraft report? |
| #2 Convider[163757] |
| toronto-HSE-ppp4110710.sympatico.ca |
a) Introductions should not be the same length as the body
b) The body of the report should not be the same length as the introduction
c) PARAGRAPHS
d) Line breaks. Seriously. |
| #3 Psyonic_Reaver[163759] |
| 67-59-78-62.generic.webformix.com |
| Check your HTML as your pictures don't load. With foxfire its easy to tell if it is being entered correctly but with Internet Explorer it's alittle harder. If you need any help send me an email or AIM me. I have them posted in the Forums. |
| #4 NewbEye[163760] |
| dp-216-106-106-249.storm.ca |
Eeek.
While I can appreciate you're putting an effort into this, and you're also making great improvements over your initial contributions, you're still making mega grammar and spelling errors. Really, you're going to have to run it through an automated spellchecker. In this day and age, there is *no excuse* for a report riddled with spelling errors. Just cut and paste your text into your word processor/web page editor and let it do the bulk of the work for you. Or, alternatively, get someone a lot more experienced in the language to proofread for you.
Linking to Blizzard's pictures on Blizzard's site wasn't helpful. Two of the links don't work, and the map is marked with a different colour order than you described. And did you even bother telling us how the two teams were divided? Confusing!
And, the copious commenting in brackets is unnecessary in a game as well-known as WC3. Those of us who don't know the game are probably not your audience, and the ones who do know that game will be irritated by the explanations wrecking the flow of the report.
If you insist on continuing to report, please, PLEASE do NOT do so until you've leafed through some of the gold reports on the site. What you're doing wrong should become obvious, and reading good reports will give you ideas on how to improve. There are also reporting guides linked from the site's main menu. |
#5  [163762] |
| usrns68.dialup.hawaii.edu |
| Fixed the broken pic links. Took a quick look at in the spellchecker however... |
| #6 micro[163769] |
| cache-dtc-ab01.proxy.aol.com |
| i've done worse. |
| #7 Agent_of_Sol[163839] |
| spc-manuscripts.library.upenn.edu |
I think the biggest thing you need to do is add paragraph breaks. The mental energy and careful reading neccessary to absorb a huge block of text is such that it is highly tempting to not bother to read the report.
It would also help if you used the game's replay function to examine the build orders and strategies of the other players in the game. Right now, the report can be summed up as "I built these things and then found some creeps or the enemy or whatever and killed them. Some of the time I had allies helping." How did you kill each base or army? How difficult was it? Did you build different units in response to their armies? Were their tough moments when you were waiting for reinforcements? These things can help readers feel that the game is important and exciting.
Here's a great example of a potentially important moment in the game, which you could improve even without watching the replay: "Then we locked our sights on red and seiged his base. Unfortunately his force was to powerful fdor us to overcome. I began my creeping process again to gain some useful items."
What were your forces? You "seiged" his base - did he have static defense? What was his force? How long did you stay engaged before breaking off? Did he gain an advantage from hurting your units, |
| #8 Agent_of_Sol[163840] |
| spc-manuscripts.library.upenn.edu |
(My comment was cut off for some reason.)
What were your forces? You "seiged" his base - did he have static defense? What was his force? How long did you stay engaged before breaking off? Did he gain an advantage from hurting your units, or did you gain an advantage by making him play defensively? What items did you want to gain? Etc.
I don't want to discourage you from submitting another report, or suggest that you need images or a really great game, or a report with tons of slick images. All you need to do is break out of the "and then I went and did this mode" and think about the strategic ideas and the back and forth that made it a fun game to play. Sharing that depth will make it a fun report to read.
Good luck, and you should definitely write another report!
~AoS
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