"I have my own team because everyone that was on my team got scared when I whipped out my Brady Bunch lunch box. Stupid Bitches.
CynicalMagician
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#1  [164135] | | user-0ce2kp9.cable.mindspring.com | | Approved. I'm glad to see new blood but you need to do a lot of work before you'll be getting golds. I'll tear into this (so to speak) in a few. | | #2 lnept[164136] | | cache-dtc-ab05.proxy.aol.com | for how brief it was, i still could kinda tell what was going on. it was average for a first report.
it was interesting to read
4.5 | | #3 mattzarella[164137] | | 96.5.33.65.cfl.res.rr.com | hey dude
there is always some grey area around rating something a bronze - a one says that the report is spam, which this obviously is not, so we can rule that out. a 2 (to me, anyway) says that a report is not spam, but that's as far as it goes. 3 and 4 and beyond say that you put some actual effort into the report, but it could require a lot of improvement. i felt that this deserved a 3 - you clearly put some effort into it, but BW text onlies are kind of outdated because of replays, dozens of screenshot utilities, and paint programs which probably come with your computer. if you've got the time to spend, take a few screenshots and slap them in there, they don't even have to have borders or be huge collages - just show us what's going on.
also this wasn't a 2 because you use HTML, however it wasn't quite higher tahn 3 because your HTML was just paragraphs and line breaks. try a black background with white text and you'd be surprised how much better it looks. look at ling's CSS guide on this site and your mind will be opened to the possibilities.
anyway i wont get on long with this because i dont actually have any say in what rating you get. it was a very good effort and you obviously put some work into it. keep it up! :)
| | #4 [164138] | | user-0ce2kp9.cable.mindspring.com | Okay.
Don't start your report with "yo yo wazzup". Reports are goofy and humorous sometimes, but there's a level of professionalism to maintain. "Anywayz" is also a sin.
You move *way* too fast. This was an hour long game. Unless they're really really boring, lots of stuff will happen in hour long games. More than four paragraphs of stuff. Read any gold rated report, no matter how short the game, and there will be a lot of stuff in there. It may be game details, it may be analysis, but if you budget four paragraphs to talk about an hour you're missing something. Mutalisks in two sentences, dude. Lots of shit happens between the first four drones and hatching mutalisks. I'm no pro but I've played enough zerg to know that that's true.
I can't give you one place to bulk up in. There are a lot of places you need to bulk up in. I would read reports. Click that hall of fame link and read CB, read Prae, read YRM, read Mark4. I don't believe that you need to describe things in excrutiating detail but you do need to talk about what happens, why it happened, what its implications are. SC is a strategy game and therefore there is more than X happened, especially in 1v1 games. There needs to be more. And there isn't even enough X happened here to illustrate the game. This made it really boring to read and that's not good.
Run this through a spellcheck. Also, corsairs, not crosshairs. I think that's what you were saying. Spell out numbers below ten I believe, although I don't remember the cap. 'Don't write 7 corsairs' or '1 probe' or '2 gateways'. That ain't kosher.
Hit the guides (also linked on the side) if you haven't already, and start adding pics if possible. Pics are nice not only for eyecandy but to illustrate the flow. Don't overuse em or you'll disrupt the flow though.
I'd give this a 2.5 if I could rate tenths and ask you to please hold off from posting more until you were fairly certain you'd fixed up your style and were at least comparable to a high silver (although shooting for gold quality won't hurt). As it is, I'm going to round up and give you a 3. This is bad, but with a little work, you can put out some good stuff. | #5  [164141] | | usrns109.dialup.hawaii.edu | As I went through the report I felt like I was reading an outline in paragraph form. Short sentences that barked out facts. It has little analysis of the game (which sounded pretty bad). The descriptions improved a little toward the end.
A slightly better game, improved writing (spellcheck), etc would get this a better rating easily.
As it is, 2. | | #6 NewbEye[164145] | | dp-216-106-106-249.storm.ca | I found the writing pretty choppy -- you might want to combine sentences together if they have related content. Also, while it's a first-person report, the repetitive I-I-I started to get on my nerves. Maybe write some of the battles from the units' perspectives?
A decent first attempt... If you follow the great advice the raters are giving you, silver and gold will be on your horizon. If you need help with HTML or other stuff, post in the forum.
| | #7 BeRzErKeR[164208] | | adsl-70-239-88-114.dsl.bltnin.sbcglobal.net | | I don't know of any Protoss, or even Zerg, unit named "crosshairs." You mean Corsairs, maybe? | | #8 Agent_of_Sol[164251] | | spc-manuscripts.LIBRARY.UPENN.EDU | A more fully fleshed out report would be great - it sounds like the back and forth was very exciting, but as people comment above, the style needs work.
I don't agree that there's something wrong with text only BW reports, but the text needs to be *good.* | | #9 Psyonic_Reaver[164295] | | mail.seventhmountain.com | | Don't give up buddy! Write another and you'll get better. It's nice to see a fresh face. |
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