"His wraiths were doing 0.01 damage to my ultras every hour!"
-[FLS]Prozerran
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| TFC- Hard to forget, Harder to report | | | Author: | | | IP: | lambda-pXXXX | | Date: | 06/11/00 07:06 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 7, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for Mr.Forgetful: 6.5000 |   |
NOTE: My Starcraft name is Mr.Forgetful and my TFC name is [ADS]CatSplat** ADS [stands for Australian Demented Sadistics, hence me being named after a roadkill cat :)] website- clanads.qgl.org . I am Australian (first ever aussie report?) and I use ‘mate’ and ‘and’ a bit too much and us Aussies all had good lag/ping in this match, and every match, thank god there isn’t a run all server that favours northern hemsipherians (that a word?) like Battle.net, so there are no excuses for poor play! NO SCREENSHOTS, they are 900KB each and Paint Shop Pro is a tool I just don’t have :( And I don't attempt glossy pics/humor/stylish writing, only the facts. I could probably insert blah 150 times and no one would notice
Introduction
Ok, welcome to a Team Fortress Classic (TFC) Battlereport! (Hmm, maybe I should have scored a 2 on a Starcraft report first) This report will follow my actions for one game on a ‘normal’ public server (novel anyone?)I just think that playing Starcraft, which I have had for over two years (and still love) would be wasting my computer’s power, which is a P2 466 W/O 3D unfortunately, and I am even shitter than I was before for those who still remember me.
Newbie Terminology
Spawn/respawn- to come alive after joining the game or dying
Frag- To kill someone (duh)
Gibs- Body parts that fly out all over the place after someone is fragged
Cap- to capture the flag, the whole goal of this map
Conc/Rocket/Pipe Jump- Special technique used to ‘illegally’ gain extra height while jumpingScout- Lightest and fastest class, equivalent to a lone zergling
Sniper- Long-range specialist, crap up close, equivalent to a couple of closely spaced Siege Tanks in siege mode
Soldier- best all around fighter with a rocket launcher, a LOT like a small group of marines/hydras
Demoman- Lethal close range fighter- sort of like a few archons
Medic- Can heal and fight, like a small group of M&M
HWGuy- Short for Heavy Weapons Guy, carries bad arse assault cannon (cross a machinegun with a shotgun) and is like a BIG armada of battlecruisers
Pyro- Flaming retard, hard to master but good if you know how to use him. obviously like a horde of firebats
Spy- The names Bond. Can look like anyone! Loses disguise when he attacks. Like a cloaked ghost launching a nuke or DT taking out a detectionless base
Engineer- Makes deadly guns and repairs armor- equivalent of a crazed horde of SCV’s making stuff
Ok, now u know enough to follow on, so here goes nothing(except my credibility, if I had any)
Map- 2fort (just in case someone plays TFC round here)
I Spawned on red, after waiting to see which way some of the best players would jump. They all went on blue, so of course I went on red. Usually what happens is all the newbies jump on the team which is winning, or has twice as many players, leaving the teams about 12-5, but this time it was blue 9, red 8, not too bad!
I selected the engineer, knowing that people seldom play good Defence, and that I would need to cover maximum territory. I informed my teammates I was on defence, and checked the rest of our defence out. We had a lone soldier guarding our flag, a Demoman in the ramp room (main area of base, and a good choke point) and I was up near the front of the base making my sentry gun, when a scout slipped past, I warned the soldier of the incoming enemy, and finished upgrading my gun. Then I raced into the main area of the base, to find that 3 enemy soldiers had rocket jumped to the top level bypassing all of our front defence! I pulled out an EMP grenade (which blows up ALL ammo) and suicidally charged at two of the soldiers, getting instantly fragged, but managing to catch all three soldiers who greedily ran to pick up my discarded ammo :), underneath which was my grenade, say bye bye bitches, and while that happened my automatic sentry gun stopped another enemy cold.
Our team managed to grab the enemy flag, but lost it near the middle of the base. I was then informed about their defensive positions, and of the location of the flag by one of my teammates. I acknowledged that, and after hearing a furious fight, saw a friendly medic carrying the flag, I hit him with my wrench, healing him, and he ran past me and captured their flag. Us: 10, Them: 0
I went to refill my sentrygun with ammo, when a Pyro and a Spy (although I didn’t know until he knifed me) got past me and killed my sentrygun. Shouting warnings, I ran down to the flag, only to get flamed as the flag carrying Pyro shot past me and scored an easy capture. The spy had played dead in our flag room it seemed, as our flag was again whisked out of the base and captured. Us: 10 Them: 20. FFS! I said (for f**k’s sake) I ordered my teammates to work harder on defence and give support to each other. They half-listened, and a scout changed to HWGuy and gave me a hand on defence in the main area, and a sniper took aim up on our battlements. The sniper got about 5 kills in a minute, and saved our defence a workout. He was not god, however, and that Spy snuck in and came up to me professing friendship, and was rewarded with a double-barreled shotgun blast to the head, he dropped like a stone, but I didn’t get a kill confirmation. Newbies, this means he faked death. So, to humiliate him, I stood on his body [which also prevents him from getting up :)] and took my spanner and whacked him to death, and because spanner kills are so rare I received applause from everyone but the spy on my feat. He cursed me as only a 12 year old can, and I smiled back. He was damn intelligent, as most spies I have seen never do that, and when I do that almost everyone leaves me alone and die for it. A lull followed, and now I received a message about their whole team trying to hold us out. I snickered, as we had only played about 5 minutes out of 30, and informed my team I was on offence until they attacked us again. I shot over the middle section, and was sniped and gibbed :(. I respawned and cautiously plunged into the water before that sniper could kill me again. I resurface on the outskirts of their base, climbed to the mid level and ran just behind the sniper, and shoved a grenade up his a**e (I actually crouched behind him, threw a grenade which landed right between his legs, and he was crouching, as close as you can get to shoving a grenade up someones a**e in TFC. hehe). He exclaimed, F**king a**ehole! I informed them that most of the base was clear, and they seemed to stack the flag room down in the basement. So, I ran down there, and took another EMP grenade out, a sentrygun fired upon me, I hid behind a wall and threw my grenade at the sentry. It was hit, and I could hear an enemy engineer repairing it. I threw two more grenades, scoring a kill and killing the sentry, and readied another EMP grenade. Lucky, because around the corner, I ran straight into a demoman and a soldier, was fragged and gibbed, but killed their greedy a**e’s as they again went for my ammo pack (isn’t 50 grenades/rockets enough FFS?) Behind me was a scout, who nipped in and took their flag, screaming for escort. A HWGuy was with him, but was too slow to keep up. The scout tried to run upstairs but ran right into a medic, who gunned him down. The HWGuy, who I could see from corpse-cam, ran up and got infected by the medic (who can heal allies and infect teammates, who infect other teammates by touch) as he blew the medic away and took the flag all the way to my sentrygun before falling dead. I happened upon the flag and took it almost to the capture point, and handed it over to him, seeing as he had done the hard work. He thanked me, and the score was 20-20.
(Insert commercial break here)
That woke Blue out of their slumber, who now had 8 players to our 6, and they sent in a medic, who was wasted by my railgun (about 5% as good as quake2’s one), then a soldier, who killed my sentrygun but ate shells, and finally a Sniper, who after being killed by my railgun claimed he fell off the balcony from getting shot accidentally by a teammate and decided to play offence that life, lol’s all around. Our offence, which numbered 4, while me and a soldier in the flag room were our only defence as often happens of public servers, grabbed the flag, and in what sounded like a furious firefight lasting over 3 minutes, with over 25 kills, we finally moved the flag into the capture point 30-20.Blue players started cursing the scout who captured it, saying his conc jumping to the upper level was cheating, to which he said they were jealous they couldn’t do it. Several others and myself agreed. One of our offensive players warned of incoming enemies, so I prepared another sentrygun, but let a chunky HWGuy past. I finished my gun, informed the soldier down there of the HWGuy and ran down to help. No need. That soldier fended him off, and I returned the favour by giving him armor. I also made a dispenser that makes armor and ammo for people. Now I had that dispenser in a tight corridor, but while a Spy got past the other defenders, that dispenser had over 150 rockets in it. I got the ‘enemies are using your dispenser’ message, and from the other side of our base, detonated it and embarrassed the spy for a second time. I gleefully typed DISPENSER KILL!!! , a few people laughed, and the spy actually left the game. The only type of humiliating kill I hadn’t done was the detpack kill, which is an explosive device. Demomen get one each life, and they go off after a certain time (5, 20, 50 seconds) To be killed by one of those is extremely BAD LUCK/STUPIDITY, because u can never tell when one will go off. Now we have been playing about 12 minutes, and all of a sudden red managed to grab the flag, but this time blue killed the Medic who had the flag, and prevented red from touching it for 60 seconds, and the flag reset.Meanwhile, on Defence, I was in BIG trouble. You see, I was killed, and so was my sentrygun. This left only a sniper who can’t defend the flag and that lone soldier in the basement to guard our flag, and amazingly, 5, yes 5, enemies shot past my Gibs. I shouted hang on, and Ill come help to the rest of our defence. The soldier acknowledged, and was promptly fragged by the Pyro. Then the scout grabbed the flag, and the soldier and myself stopped him cold in the tunnel to the mid level. His slower friends came up and were damaged by a triple whammy of a rocket, an EMP grenade and shotgun fire. The Pyro and Demoman died, one to my shotgun, the other to the rocket, and the medic infected my ally. NOOOO, because I also got infected by touch, as we were side by side. My teammate rammed 3 rockets into that medic’s head, and his gibs had barley fallen when we dropped dead within two seconds of each other, weakened from combat and the last two, a HWGuy and another medic, raffled our flag (I'm betting medic had rock and HWGuy had scissors) and duly captured it, the medic gloating at the equalizing capture, and also at mine and the soldier’s deaths. 16 minutes played and the score was 30-30.
(Insert commercial break here)
Now things looked grim. With a tied score, and us on the back foot, we needed some stabilising defence. One of blue's best players exclaimed: 'FFS, teams are uneven again, and changed to red giving us 7 players each :) The turncoat slotted into defence in our main area, and I told my team I would help out near the flag. I was acknowledged, and then for at least the next 5 minutes, myself and the soldier in the basement, who after me making my sentrygun, sat down to enjoy a nice cuppa with me (he he). Outside, however, many players were fighting, and the turncoat who took my spot scored a few kills also. I was somewhat surprised at his being a medic, but he argued that he could then catch the fleeing flag bearer, and he was damn good at it. Then, the sniper on our balcony informed us of some enemies coming in through the water tunnel. Then all I heard was them emerge and get instantly infected. They pressed on, killing that medic, and I heard a medic curing their infections, saving both their lives. They again killed the medic, who warned us of two incoming soldiers and a medic, and I prepared a grenade. That grenade hit a soldier in the face, but I was killed by two rockets. My sentrygun fired upon them, as did the other soldier. One soldier died, so did the medic, on kill for my sentrygun, the other for that soldier, but the last soldier left a present before he passed on, a grenade that spits nails all over the place, aptly called a nail grenade, which killed my sentrygun, damn it! I rushed to make another gun, when all of a sudden two players on our side said, almost simultaneously 'I am on defence'. So what did I do? I told them to take my spot and went on offence. I chose the Pyro, because everyone thinks he is shit, but he can distract long enough to let a scout get their flag. I messaged for someone to follow, and a friendly medic did. He gave me a health boost, and I ran into the base flaming everything wildly. A soldier danced with me, but his shocking aim got him killed. I ran upstairs and managed to frag a sentrygun, and the medic thanked me, healed me and ran down towards the flag. He duly picked it up, and ran outside. I followed him closely, and was gunned down by a HWGuy, after turning to face him to cover our flag bearer. However, stray fire mowed down the medic, too. Then our resident sniper saw the flag just below him, and dropped down and captured it, the HWGuy was so furious that he had ran out of ammo and he let us know. 'ARGH! I ran out of ammo. This is bullshit, I should have infinite ammo', to which laughs followed. 40-30, with 4 minutes to play.
(Insert commercial break here)
Our defence instructed everyone to batten down the hatches and play defence to hold our lead. The enemy responded with everyone on offence. I was guarding the basement, and after a series of gunfire and explosions, the enemy dropped down a lift that leads to the flag. I received the incoming, and was greeted with two HWGuys and a Demoman. I hid around the corner, and the enemy Demoman ran straight into my medikit, and was infected. He passed this disease on to his mates, and they cursed him, blew me and an engineer defending down there to bits, and grabbed our flag. About 3/4 of the way up to the base exit, they all dropped dead, handing me three kills on a platter. Four of the others quickly stood on top of the flag, and held it until it reset. About 90 seconds, two deaths and one amusing frag by touching someone with the medikit (for some reason it does damage as it infects people) The match was over! This was one of the best games I played, simply because of the evenness and the teamwork between us.
Results-
Blue: 30 team score, 145 frags, 158 deaths, average Latency at the end was 204
Red: 40 team score, 122 frags, 170 deaths average Latency at the end was 215
(lots of suicides by class changing people by both sides, a suicide takes one off frags and adds one to deaths, plus people who leave do not have their scores counted, but the people they fragged/died to still get deaths/frags, that is why they don't match up :))
Myself- 20 frags, 12 deaths, latency at the end was 189
50-90 is excellent, 90-250 is good, and 250-500 is bearable, 500+ is unplayable (in terms of latency)
That is all for this report, as you can see, it was a long and grueling thing to read, spare a thought for me remembering all this! Feedback will help me decide whether to put up another report on a different map, also a clan war!
Clan wars are up to 5 times as intense as public games, due to total team communication and teamwork, and the enemies all being skilled rather than about 25% of them being skilled as on public servers
Lessons learned so far-
Whoops, wrong game type, FPS lessons are few and far between.
Have a point to your report/story, it makes it easier to write.
Work as a team, hence the ‘T’ in TFC!
And also, have fun, don’t let some annoying 12 year old spoil your day, applies to TFC, Starcraft and life
To quote one of my best mates:
‘Shitty crappy shit’
Is that was this report (snicker) is???
Thanks for reading/rating/using to fall asleep from boredom/using as an excuse to be on the Internet for 10 minutes longer
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