| #1 [{o}][33579] |
| dialup-209.246.64.2.NewYork2.Level3.net |
| GUESS WHO GOT FIRST ON |[=]|'s report!! HIS OWN PARTNER!!!! |
| #2 Massacred[33580] |
| spider-wo011.proxy.aol.com |
OK, that was my first (lousy, but first) attempy at a fan-fic. Hope it was moderately good enough for you to not press back. ;=[
Ciao,
Massacred |
| #3 [z]RubberDucky[33590] |
| crtntx1-ar3-098-206.dsl.gtei.net |
| The writing was poor, the storyline was okay, but I suggest you continue, because the idea of flamethrowing goons that can lockdown just plain owns =[ |
| #4 Herminator[33591] |
| 24.65.14.170.bc.wave.home.com |
pretty neat, the idea of terran owning all is appealing, one question
what exactly is an alceron? |
| #5 Jack9[33602] |
| pool0140.cvx15-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net |
| this type of Battlereport is precisely what I dont want to unknowingly spend a 'click' on. Why isnt this in 'other'??? |
| #6 Baxter-O'Bixby[33603] |
| adsl-63-195-119-107.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net |
| You have interesting ideas, but could do with a little more time spent fleshing them out and refining the prose... |
| #7 Foovoo[33621] |
| 146.95.224.43 |
| I'm gay, wheeeeeee |
| #8 UltimateChobo[33622] |
| 146.95.224.43 |
Er..... yeah...ok....
Well anyway, psionic marines are cool.. they never miss. |
| #9 Drefsab[33625] |
| rc33.Rmax1.globalsite.net |
You really jumped around a lot and never really focused on developing anything. What is an Alceron? What are thought control devices, who makes them? Where did the protoss contingent come from and why did they have that technology with them?
You really should have developed this storyline a lot more before releasing it, because right now, there isn't much here. I'm pretty much left with this reaction... "Huh??"
Keep working on it though, it has potential.
Dref |
| #10 kindalikeurface[33631] |
| spider-wj044.proxy.aol.com |
i read it blah blah blah.... anyways ducky..i was thinking the exact same thing.. a goon with lockdown would never lose! well i was ok you need to explain it a little more
^_^
kindalikeurface |
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