| #1 the-nut[143163] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
FIRST!
nice sabo!
u kno mine is coming soon! ^)^
this is awesome
7.5 - 8.0
^_^ |
| #2 Triped[143164] |
| cf2.utc.com |
| actually, this report sucks |
| #3 Some_God[143165] |
| ool-18b8c59f.dyn.optonline.net |
3rd ... this looks nice =D
Cheers,
~SG~ |
| #4 EldritchEvil[143166] |
| nr11-216-196-189-46.fuse.net |
Whoo.
9 |
| #5 The0ne[143167] |
| 65.174.25.28 |
kind of weird. . .
The zealots came and killed the hydras and more hydras came and killed carriers etc., etc. |
| #6 Sabotage[143168] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
wtf 2
|
| #7 LameJoker[143170] |
| a5811.bates.edu |
Nice job, but it could have been so much more. This is a really great game, and it seems like if you had just spent a little bit more time on it, this report could have been spectacular.
You should try reading your reports out loud to yourself, so you can pick up the grammatical errors that spellcheck misses.
The biggest booboo in my opinion is that you need MUCH more color in your writing. It has to be engaging. I read the whole thing because it was a pretty close game and there were nice pictures, but it's your job to captivate your reader with writing and humor. I don't really know how you can improve on this, other than to read reports by classic BRers and also to read books. |
| #8 Triped[143171] |
| cf2.utc.com |
| in short: it sucks |
| #9 L J (continued)[143172] |
| a5811.bates.edu |
Unfortunately, I'm not really justified in giving tips, cuz I can't get up the gumption to learn HTML and actually do a report.
I'll take this, though. ;) |
| #10 LameJoker[143173] |
| a5811.bates.edu |
| Triped please don't put words in my mouth. thanks. |
| #11 the-nut[143174] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| lol! my quote in the begining from my first br! |
| #12 Casper...[143175] |
| CPE0010b50f508e-CM00e06f16610c.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| br's are good because it's so easy to hide just how slow and pathetically played a game actually was. |
| #13 Triped[143176] |
| cf2.utc.com |
| so you weren't saying that it sucks? because everything you said supports my thesis that it sucks |
| #14 Sabotage[143177] |
| user-2ivea8f.dialup.mindspring.com |
omg triped
It doesn't suck k?
It doesn't have to be the best br ever k? I know it isn't the best stuff, but stop going against me! We need more BRs at this site and you don't have to hate one that isn't perfect.
so uh,
i get the point. stop saying the same thing. |
| #15 Sabotage[143178] |
| user-2ivea8f.dialup.mindspring.com |
| But then again, don't stop the advice |
| #16 Triped[143179] |
| cf2.utc.com |
actually it does suck
here are the ways in which it sucks:
bad writing
bad pictures
bad html
bad player colors |
| #17 Funkii[143180] |
| 216.250.177.84 |
yeah it definitely sucks.
You forgot bad writer and bad players too (holy shit red was the 2nd worst player I've ever seen).
Blue was the worst of course, did you even READ the report people? |
| #18 the-nut[143181] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| -___- |
| #19 Sabotage[143182] |
| user-2iveb9e.dialup.mindspring.com |
God this isn't fair
Now that triped said it sucks everyone is against me? |
| #20 bang my mother[143183] |
| spider-tf074.proxy.aol.com |
| it was ok |
| #21 Sabotage[143184] |
| user-2ivecl9.dialup.mindspring.com |
And also, I don't believe my pictures sucked and html and player colors? how can player colors be bad?
well thank you #20.. |
| #22 el_sux0r[143185] |
| 0-1pool52-182.nas39.philadelphia1.pa.us.da.qwest.net |
Not bad. Your pics are uber compared to mine.
One thing you might want to watch is the grammar; otherwise, not bad at all.
Hey, Sabo, I've been thinking about something ever since I saw your Photoshop skills . . . want to do a joint report or two at some point? |
| #23 Sabotage[143186] |
| user-uive8lt.dsl.mindspring.com |
hmm well i dunno
Why not?
But I have one more lone report to do before this. |
| #24 endersshadow[143187] |
| ool-182d2de6.dyn.optonline.net |
Well I orignally typed a long drawn out repsonse to this report, but seeing as how it was deleted I guess I'll just start over -.-; Your writing sucks. Plain and simple.
"Then he produced from mid left, and cleaned lower left. He then moved on to lower mid."
Your reports definitely have the potential to get 8-9's instead of 7's if you simply typed as if you didn't talk in ebonics.
|
| #25 el_sux0r[143188] |
| 0-1pool52-182.nas39.philadelphia1.pa.us.da.qwest.net |
Good luck with it.
Send email to nomineATjesus.zzn.com (replace AT accordingly) when you feel up to a joint BR. Your pics, my writing ;) |
| #26 Sabotage[143189] |
| user-uive8lt.dsl.mindspring.com |
| yeh I didn't spend enough time on writing i admit.. |
| #27 endersshadow[143190] |
| ool-182d2de6.dyn.optonline.net |
(continued)
Go back and read the dedicatee's (?) reports and note how he weaves humor and information in his reports, overall making them easy and fun to read instead of a chore.
A battlereport is supposed to take in the reader with facts, but also humor him/her so they enjoy the experience and want more. You basically presented here a replay with some words to accompany. Keep trying, your pictures are already great, now just get somebody else to proofread your work, as what sounds good to you may not make as much sense to them. |
| #28 sabotage[143191] |
| user-uive8lt.dsl.mindspring.com |
| uh who's reports? |
| #29 endersshadow[143192] |
| ool-182d2de6.dyn.optonline.net |
Hmm, looks bad that I'm giving you advice on writing when the last sentence of my previous post was a massive run-on ;).
LameJoker, HTML really isn't that difficult to learn. The neccesary HTML required to put out an average battlereport is actually very limited. If you can remember simple things like bold (<B>) tags then you shouldn't have much difficulty. I learned it in about 2-3 hours, then started/quit 2 reports since battlereports.com thinks I'm a hacker -.- I actually found that you spend more time editing pictures then typing the code/writing it. |
| #30 el_sux0r[143193] |
| 0-1pool52-182.nas39.philadelphia1.pa.us.da.qwest.net |
| He's talking about CB's reports. |
| #31 LurkerBurger7[143194] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
gj sabo
I really liked the writing in say the the first third of the report.
"...and the zergs were turned into ketchup." hehe fun stuff.
But then you started to show some lack of energy; your grammar deproving and your 'fun stuff' was discontinued.
But still, overall great, I'd give it a 7...maybe an 8
:) |
| #32 Sabotage[143197] |
| user-uive8lt.dsl.mindspring.com |
| omg it was really long game and stuff and it got so boring. its hard dammit. |
| #33 el_sux0r[143198] |
| 0-1pool52-182.nas39.philadelphia1.pa.us.da.qwest.net |
| Yes, but I'm offering to do it for you ;) |
| #34 All-FeAr[143199] |
| 165.154.24.190 |
| ah yes , the flames from the armchair athelete , it was good picture wise , and pretty much the same as the last text wise , yes most of the above people are correct this was a good game heck it wasnt slow , but the core to all reports is text, and thats what u need , heh gj anyways , the skimmers will love it and the cb dedications , bah easy 1 extra rating lol . |
| #35 BiGRooStER[143200] |
| pcp02936415pcs.dalect01.va.comcast.net |
| maaan sabotage you should play me.. and then make a BR out of it.. because im a studly stud |
| #36 Swiffel[143201] |
| ip68-14-142-34.ri.ri.cox.net |
| Sabotage, I didn't read it, but just skimmed. The pictures look nice, but from what I've heard, your writing sucks. Don't worry though, I know how hard it is to write stuff that keeps people interesting, (you wouldn't even want to read my br -.-) and the best advice to improve it would be to simply write a lot, and you'll get the feel of it. For everybody who said this br sucks, fuck em, I don't see their battlereports anywhere. |
| #37 Minatour[143202] |
| kenn-dial-1-199.amerion.net |
| LOL i thought all-feared would win :( buut he lost ^$^$ curse that dam zerg always comming back..anyways this report was fun to read |
| #38 Convider[143204] |
| Toronto-HSE-ppp3660508.sympatico.ca |
very nice pics, but the writing was too mechanical IMO...
7.54752 |
| #39 the-nut[143205] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| after reading all these comments........I STILL THINK THIS REPORT IS GOOD... |
| #40 the-nut[143206] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| 40th! |
| #41 Triped[143207] |
| dsc08-chc-il-2-146.rasserver.net |
after mr. nut's endorsement, i'm even more certain that this still sucks
now i know it can be easy to get bent out of shape cause you arent good at this, but try to be rational here
after all, maybe your next one won't suck, wouldn't that be nice?
so yeah just keep that positive attitude in mind and you'll do well for yourself |
| #42 miNATOUR[143208] |
| kenn-dial-1-64.amerion.net |
i like cheese if u dont then ur cool but onnayluc ie lcike i liked dis report alLOT
|
| #43 Smeagol[143210] |
| 049.a.001.hob.iprimus.net.au |
it was a bit painful to read as everyone said but it seemed like a pretty bloody good game to me with lots of comebacks by both players
and triped at least sabotage and the nut werent playing in the
report ^_^
gj sabo i reckon u will get a 7-8 |
| #44 Mr.Puddles[143211] |
| 216.49.243-DSL-187.ckt.net |
| I just looked at the pictures, since my starcraft game is off and I probably forgot all the units. They were pretty. Mini-maps give you a 5 points. Pictures of scarabs give you 10 points. There you have it, my rating for this report is 14.9 because of bad text content (like I know I'm just going with what the other commentors said). Need... More... |
| #45 kinslayer[143212] |
| HSE-Ottawa-ppp163976.sympatico.ca |
don't mind triped, thats just him.
nice report, keep improving. |
| #46 the-nut[143214] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| AHEm Triped.... it doesnt suck... |
| #47 Triped[143215] |
| dsc04-chc-il-3-205.rasserver.net |
Damn you Kinslayer....bleh I need more places to troll. =[
This wasn't good though, seriously. |
| #48 BlueRibbon[143221] |
| 65.167.44.105 |
Writing isn't that great, but the pictures are pretty good. Don't mind "Triped" (nice handle btw ;o) as it wasn't "suck" as he put it. -_-
7-7.5 |
| #49 Sabotage[143225] |
| user-uive9fm.dsl.mindspring.com |
:) there at least i still have some fans.
Well, I tried to make it interesting with the subtitles, if anyone noticed, but thank you for positiveness. My next report will be coming out some time in the future!
All-fear thanks for the game, again. |
| #50 Sabotage[143227] |
| user-uive9fm.dsl.mindspring.com |
Lol i remeber, when i first made my the_fag report, CB told me i could be so much more if i just didn't have the stupid pics and improved my horrble writing. Im glad he told me that, cuz I believe Im much better at this stuff now.
Thanks, cb |
| #51 sabotage[143230] |
| user-uive9fm.dsl.mindspring.com |
| OKay i read it over. Yeah there were some dry spots, but the writing wasn't too horrible... in my opinion |
| #52 LameJoker[143278] |
| pool-129-44-13-229.alb.east.verizon.net |
| sabo it was fine, you just need to improve in some areas. Don't get discouraged just because some ppl who could never do any better said you sucked. |
| #53 GeneralPatton[143279] |
| spider-ta084.proxy.aol.com |
eh, it was ok. I've seen worse for sure, but the report didn't grab me like it could have. I read 3 paragraphs and then stopped reading entirely and looked at pictures. Alot of your writing was covered by pics (atleast on my computer), and your writing was bland. Pics were pretty good, but it can't cover up the fact that the game was between two really bad players. Like other people have said, I suggest you read the report guides by Zerg~Ling and CB. Your reports have alot of potential, and if you can improve upon them, you'll get an easy 8-9 score.
7 |
| #54 Triped[143293] |
| dsc08-chc-il-4-117.rasserver.net |
| I could write a better BR than everyone who's commented in this thread combined. |
| #55 kinslayer[143302] |
| HSE-Ottawa-ppp163976.sympatico.ca |
I seriously doubt that triped :P
If I was only motivated enough to actually do a report. |
| #56 Triped[143316] |
| 1Cust174.tnt1.rockford2.il.da.uu.net |
| same |
| #57 Sabotage[143329] |
| user-2ive788.dialup.mindspring.com |
| Oic, triped had been hating me for some time now -_- |
| #58 Triped[143332] |
| dsc09-chc-il-6-42.rasserver.net |
| i hate the sin, not the sinner |
| #59 Sabotage[143333] |
| user-2ive788.dialup.mindspring.com |
| Sin? thank you for your nice words! |
| #60 LurkerBurger7[143338] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| wheres the raters? |
| #61 Sabotage[143339] |
| user-2ive788.dialup.mindspring.com |
| yeh, :*( raters took time to rate spam a one, but not to rate me lol |
| #62 JakobderLudner[143355] |
| 24-205-51-132.gln-eres.charterpipeline.net |
Writing could use some work. Seems you rushed this out and didn't proofread it at all. Don't get me wrong here, I've liked your last reports but this one is a little frustrating to read because it sounds like little effort was put into reading it over. The flow is kinda choppy and more color could be used. Kinda disappointing from one of my favorite battlereporters. Oh well. Better luck next time.
I'd probably give it a 6.0-6.5 |
| #63 JakobderLudner[143357] |
| 24-205-51-132.gln-eres.charterpipeline.net |
| By color, I mean color in grammar and writing. Your pictures were pretty good, but not exactly, you know, Breeze or Testosterone quality (as you probably already knew). |
| #64 the-nut[143363] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| OH NO! ITS NOT geTTing ratED!! |
| #65 Sabotage[143364] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
omg its lowered to a six!
I don't think I could suffer that again -_- |
| #66 Sabotage[143365] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| maybe its underated :) |
| #67 Triped[143385] |
| dsc08-chc-il-5-215.rasserver.net |
| no chance :) |
| #68 Sabotage[143395] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| h4x! when will it get rating! (may 14 morning) |
| #69 Redemption6[143408] |
| 65-78-29-178.c3-0.lex-ubr3.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com |
I think this deserved an 8.5. As someone pointed out earlier, it was a great report, but could've been much more. The biggest lack in this report is the writing quality. There were a few problems that you had:
- Tense problems. Usually battlereports are told in past tense; unless you're doing a report in which there are "announcers" and they announce what's going on while the game is playing. You seemed to mix in present with the past, and it was a little strange at times.
- Humor/Emotion. You didn't have much color in your writing, it was basically just explaining this, explaining that. While you did describe the battles well, you didn't really do much else.
- Plot holes. You have a few of them. For example, I never figured out how blue got so many mutalisks, because it seemed just a few paragraphs ago when red was in control with the reavers. I also don't see how blue is able to defeat the "doom fleet."
|
| #70 Redemption6[143409] |
| 65-78-29-178.c3-0.lex-ubr3.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com |
(continued...)
- I know your game was a comeback game, but don't make it so obvious to the reader. For example you titled one of your subtitles "the comeback" and the "turn of the tide." The reader can figure out that it's a comeback without you having to hint so. (for example your whole first 5 paragraphs was about red raping blue with corsairs/reavers
It was a good report, but could've been better. The pics were great though; and ignore number 2. He's just an asshole. |
| #71 Triped[143411] |
| cf2.utc.com |
| I love how you think something should get an 8.5 when it has three of the biggest problems to ever plague reporters. |
| #72 Sabotage[143412] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
We will see what i get...
But damn Im sick of seeing NR next to teh report :( |
| #73 livingexception[143426] |
| pcp03797940pcs.wilmsc01.tn.comcast.net |
I agree with much of the above, so I won't repeat it. I actually think your picture selection was pretty nice (good scarab shots, shots of exploding zerg) and I also liked the ice blue picture borders. As to the writing, one thing I think that would really help is not to use the same sentence structure so much. As in you very often started your sentences with the subject, immediately followed by the verb. Try starting with some prepositional phrases or using compound sentences to spice things up a bit. Do that, and integrate some more colorful language, and you should be good to go.
le
|
| #74 All-feaR[143439] |
| 165.154.24.244 |
| gogogo raters , dont worry sabo more goodies were this game came from , and i told u ppl like sexy scarabs ogoggogo |
| #75 Redemption6[143449] |
| 65-78-29-178.c3-0.lex-ubr3.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com |
| Triped, I love how you brag about your battlereporting skill, yet never make battlereports. People who don't make battlereports don't deserve to talk, so shut the fuck up and never talk again. |
| #76 Redemption6[143450] |
| 65-78-29-178.c3-0.lex-ubr3.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com |
| I personally think effort is enough to get you at least the first few points, and pics are enough to give you the next few. Writing was the only huge problem in this report, and that shouldn't count much more than 3 points anyhow. |
| #77 Triped[143453] |
| cf2.utc.com |
| Oftentimes women will ask me why I don't take off my shirt for them more often. I usually play down my muscular physique (which drives them wild), but the real reason is because my body practically glows the unmistakeable hue of reporter gold! Every fiber of my being, from my impressive biceps to my winning eyes, tells the world that I CAN WRITE! |
| #78 Sabotage[143454] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| phj33r i know, i need rating :) |
| #79 LurkerBurger7[143457] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| AHAHAHAHAAHHAAAAAAAAAAA |
| #80 mick[143480] |
| 1Cust63.tnt13.bne1.da.uu.net |
| this site needs more rapers |
| #81 mick[143481] |
| 1Cust63.tnt13.bne1.da.uu.net |
| *rapers |
| #82 LurkerBurger7[143482] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
lol
|
| #83 LurkerBurger7[143483] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| *lol |
| #84 Sabotage[143487] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
wow! still no rating! this has been up since friday and now its wednsday!
Raters cmooon |
| #85 Triped[143492] |
| cf2.utc.com |
| they just don't want to break the news to you that this sucks :) |
| #86 Sabotage[143495] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
Shutup triped you've been proven wrong
u versus 40 or so people... |
| #87 Triped[143497] |
| cf2.utc.com |
| too bad only stupid people have disagreed with me |
| #88 the-nut[143505] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| HEYYYYYYYYYYYY, i'm not stupid u squid |
| #89 the-nut[143506] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
| 90th! |
| #90 Sabotage[143508] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| dork. lol |
| #91 Triped[143515] |
| dsc07-chc-il-1-191.rasserver.net |
| lol shut up |
| #92 Sabotage :([143517] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| itsliek , thursday and still no rating and i sent this last fridayyy3 |
| #93 Sabotage[143572] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| ahh this thing has been up for a week, no rating, ones before me get ratings ;/ someone rate plz. |
| #94 livingexception[143579] |
| pcp03797940pcs.wilmsc01.tn.comcast.net |
Sabotage, the sad fact is some reports never do get rated. This'll be on the front page for like another couple weeks at least; however, don't be surprised if that NR stays with it forever.
If I had to venture an guess, I would say this would be rated 6-7. If I were you, I'd stop waiting on pins and needles and get to work finding another game (should you be so inclined as to do another one) instead of waiting for a rating that may never come.
le |
| #95 Sabotage[143582] |
| pool-68-161-122-19.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| LE Im already working on my next report, i just wanna see my rating |
| #96 BlueRibbon[143696] |
| 65.167.44.26 |
| Goddamnit, triped. Come here a flame a few more times so I can get fucking comment 100 -_- |
| #97 asdf[143705] |
| sdn-ap-005caburbP0426.dialsprint.net |
| this sucked fat cock. your writing is so fucking terrible. go die and never write again. |
| #98 mick[143707] |
| 1Cust74.tnt13.bne1.da.uu.net |
| who want's 100? |
| #99 triped[143711] |
| cf2.utc.com |
| u |
| #100 Sabotage[143738] |
| pool-68-161-107-106.ny325.east.verizon.net |
GJ asdf ur gay.
Alright im glad it was rated :)
Wow nobody posted much recently, 1 week with 1 time thing
Im gonna be away for awhile on summber vacation so my next report will be much later...
Cyas |
| #101 all-fear[143833] |
| 165.154.24.147 |
| sabo im emailing u a gg |
| #102 koalasnatcher[144751] |
| sms1.stmikes.k12.nm.us |
Hey, sab.
i put a couple comments on the newbs3 game. check those out. and allfear, nice try man, u had good ideas.i would have done the same. i can play toss and zerg, learning terran, but pretty good w/ other 2 races. SAB, REALLY MAN, CHECK OUT MY COMMENTS ABOUT THE NEWBS3 GAME, THERES ALSO SOME OTHER KEWL STUFF. |
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