| #1 NotJim[162571] |
| ppp-45-112.grapevine.net.au |
| *first comment, waits for it to be rated so he can view it* |
| #2 Tiamat[162572] |
| pool-141-149-58-196.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| hehe, its not startcraft or anything though |
| #3 OverTheUnder[162601] |
| 12-205-145-63.client.mchsi.com |
As a general rule of thumb, if you have to put *not a br* in the title, you might want to think twice about posting it;)
Also, die for not making an sc brT_T |
| #4 maareek[162603] |
| dblt.66-243-227-202.gtcom.net |
| Over, you dont even play bw anymore so you have no room to talk. -__-; |
| #5 Tiamat[162605] |
| pool-141-149-58-196.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| Theres no other good sites to post writing on really. No feedback, its teh suckzor04 |
| #6 NotJim[162608] |
| 203.129.57.69 |
And I thought the intarweb was an enormous place where everything could be found. >_>
I think fics were stopped being accepted here a year or two ago, too. >_O |
| #7 NewbEye[162631] |
| dp-216-106-106-187.storm.ca |
Sadly, it doesn't look like BR.com is a great place for feedback either. If this is a fanfic, may I suggest Blizzard's fanfic forum, which, at a glance, seems quite lively?
http://www.battle.net/forums/board.aspx?ForumName=fanfiction |
#8  [162702] |
| adsl-68-23-8-130.dsl.ipltin.ameritech.net |
| Approved, sorry.. Guess the admins left town! |
| #9 NotJim[162781] |
| 203.62.10.3 |
| Yeah, I guess so. =/ |
#10  [162787] |
| ip68-225-202-104.ph.ph.cox.net |
was a bit too short, and had some fairly obvious and distracting grammatical mistakes.
as for the writing itself, there was very little development of...anything really. discuss the history behind the war, why fascism has control of that area, the history of your main protagonist and antagonist, etc.; that should add some length to a short chapter. some sentences also struck me as a little awkward, and very juvenile. also some parts seemed to contradict others, for instance you describe the sentries as barely human but then give them human characteristics of viciousness and contempt. |
| #11 ...[162797] |
| dialup-4.226.168.188.Dial1.Dallas1.Level3.net |
www.fanfiction.net
www.writing.com |
| #12 ...[162798] |
| dialup-4.226.168.188.Dial1.Dallas1.Level3.net |
| www.fictionpress.com |
| #13 [163005] |
| user-12l2ep3.cable.mindspring.com |
| test.. JV |
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