"Vultures own Goons"
Bob_The_Newt
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| Gayest FFA ever : Part II | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 11/27/99 02:11 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 5, Max: 10, Min: 10
Lifetime Rating for Bob the Newt: 9.3654 |  |
 After a long period of inactivity, I have finally decided to finish the Gay FFA report. Why now you ask? Mostly because of these inspirational messages from yav. By now you may have forgotten what happened in the first game, or if you're a big time loser you might not have even read it, so go refresh your memory.
If I were you, and I'm not, but if I were, I'd wait for the all images and animations to load before reading the BR. But that's just what I'd do, and as I mentioned previously, I'm not you. |
While I could jump directly into the BR, I'd rather begin with a beautiful quote from Probe :
"btw, NEED more pictures of gayass richard simmons, then it will get a 10 10101 101010010101010101 rating . . . put his candy ass in every picture . . . sideways, upsidedown, straight up, HUGE, as small as a marine, or even as a border . . . but richard simmons is the king of gayness!
UVE GOTTA HAVE HIS CANDY ASS GAYASS FACE SOMEWHERE!@
jsut put his face in sideways like mr "Toasty!" in mortal kombat :))"
DoomDragon decides to start off the second part in a rather fitting way, and sends off 4 ghosts to nuke the zerg, -=~KaDaBrA~=-.
  Despite all the things the nuke had going for it, the attempt failed. Persian-POW now does his best to insult Ronin~ further by destroying his last remaining depot, but Ronny has a floating factory safely on DoomDragon's cliff, and enters observer status.
Persian-POW sends a probe to take the 3 o'clock natural, which is near full. The protoss now tries to get map control, moving his army into the center. However cloaked wraiths soon arrive to drive the observerless force back to the cannons of his mineral only. The needed detectors are soon produced, and scouts destroy the pesky wraiths. The wraiths' true purpose was to clear the way for a goliath/tank attack on the 3 o'clock expansion, but they do not stall the protoss long enough for the attack to set up, and are forced to engage the enemy en route.
-=~KaDaBrA~=- chooses this time to do a much less organized, much less expensive, and much more successful attack on the same expansion. He sends around 24 cracklings which manage to kill all the probes and then kamikaze the nexus. After the lings are removed a new nexus is started.
 DoomDragon continues the barrage of attack on Persian-POW, but chooses to attack his main instead of the much abused expansion. Four dropships worth of tanks goliaths and ghosts are unloaded near his gates. While the gollies and tanks are disposed of with relatively few losses, the ghosts manage to drop the true payload of two nukes.
Hoping to offset his recent victory, DoomDragon sent a pathetic attack of seven marines and a medic in a line dance formation to the 3 o'clock expansion, so pathetic that I won't even give it a picture or describe what killed it. After a short break DoomDragon sent three dropships to Persian-POW's reconstructed gates. Although storm mangled the attack, it managed to take a whopping three zealots with it. While I was paying attention to something else Persian-POW stormed DoomDragon's scvs at his mineral only, and there was much debate.
 =[
-=~KaDaBrA~=- drops a few ovies worth of lings on the top island, bringing it down easily. This causes DoomDragon to take out his anger at Persian-POW by sending a large marine army to the 3 o'clock expansion. Unfortunately for DoomDragon marines don't do so hot versus storm.
-=~KaDaBrA~=- tries his luck on a stupid ling attack at 3 o'clock again, but even though the attack came immediately after DoomDragon's marine splat-attack the attack does little damage due to lack of detection. Ronin~ has been sending his factory across the map and constructing machine shops at random places to amuse himself, because he is a imbecile.
 While DoomDragon is getting his marines creamed once again, -=~KaDaBrA~=- makes a rather tempting offer. For a short while I consider it merely to be a poor attempt at humor, but once hydras and marines are seen mingling together I know something is amiss. That's right, DoomDragon and -=~KaDaBrA~=- had had enough of being wasted by storm, and committed the ultimate act of FFA betrayal, teaming! To celebrate their dark alliance, KaDaBrA coordinates a double attack, he will send hydras to the poor old 3 o'clock expand, while DoomDragon sends marines to the protoss main. The marines die appallingly quick, taking nothing with them but 150 High Templar energy. The hydras meet up with much better luck, the expansion is only defended by a zealot, archon, HT, and DA at the moment. Maelstroms and storms fly, but they are no match for the 20+ slugs and the expansion is torn down before reinforcements can arrive. Once more templars and zealots make it the attacking zerg are obliterated and the nexus is once again reconstructed.
 As of now the entire map is mined out, except for the 3 o'clock natural and the 3 o'clock mineral only. Both -=~KaDaBrA~=- and DoomDragon are running entirely off saved resources. Despite this, DoomDragon made eight firebats for the sole purpose of killing some zealots. Persian-POW still had his scout fleet, even though they had been wisely avoiding the hydras and marines, so the bats were dealt with quickly. DoomDragon figures that he should be trying a decent attack, so he unloads a ghost at the 3 o'clock main to nuke the natural from high ground. -=~KaDaBrA~=- attacks the natural's choke with hydras to distract Persian-POW while the nuke is set up. They time it perfectly, with the nuke killing the nexus and a good number of zealots.
Let's take a little break to examine the minimap at the moment
The nuke hit Persian-POW hard, and he can no longer afford to defend the expansion against the constant assaults.  The evil teamers both take the 3 o'clock mineral only, giving them a large advantage. -=~KaDaBrA~=- gets another one of his beloved defilers, and uses it to plague the remainder of Persian-POW's scout fleet. Persian-POW couldn't allow KaDaBrA or DoomDragon to mine undisturbed, and sent a high templar to erm . . . disturb them. They were quite disturbed indeed, losing most of their number.
 During this DoomDragon sent yet another ghost to nuke Persian-POW's clustered gates. Persian had no observers near the spot, but attempted to kill the ghost using storm. His first storm missed, but his second hit its target. The nuke was already in the air however. This prompts Persian-POW to engage in another of the game's intellectual exchanges.
Ronin~ has gotten into the teaming up spirit, and is using his factory to wall off Persian-POW with machine shops.
This does manage to stall attacks for a short while, as anything coming near enough to fire upon the shops will be stormed. -=~KaDaBrA~=- still has the infested CC from a long forgotten island war, and puts it to use for the first time. Infested Terrans are soon throwing themselves onto the helpless add-ons too fast to be stopped by storm.
 Hydralisks, marines, and tanks come through the new gaps seconds after they are formed. In his stupidity, -=~KaDaBrA~=- forgot to ally Ronin~ and killed his sole factory on the way in. Persian-POW can only offer token resistance at this point, and his buildings are burned to the ground with nukes and EMP. Persian leaves as his last buildings are being nuked with a "gay."
Scores
Lessons Learned
#1 Don't play KaD and Doom in a FFA.
#2 Don't play KaD ever.
#3 A-X sucks. Well you didn't really learn that from this BR, it's just common knowledge.
This has been a
production.
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