You know those stuck up jerks from Kali who think they are too good for Battlenet? The ones who you can only read about in Agent911’s battlereports? The same ones who have been ducking teams like Whoop’ and Ahscar? Yeah, that’s them...

Anyway, I watched two of them play in the i2e2 tournament the other day. Their opponents were the fearsome DAG clan members, Caglomera and Draegon. This was game two of a three game series... and Caglomera and Draegon had already scored a win on Dire Straights with a Toss/Zerg air combo. Wait a second... which two Maven’s Haven players am I talking about? Well, the first was Maven himself... a player who can hold his own with Maynard by several accounts, and the second was the infamous DuDeY. They called themselves the "Sexy Bitches".

This game would answer several important questions:

1 - Could Maven carry Dudey to another 2v2 victory? Or would the Sexy Bitches fall prey to the Australian power of DAG?
2 - How many times can Dudey request pauses to move his bowels?
3 - Can I bust on Dudey as well as Agent has in the past, only knowing him for several hours?

Remember Maven and Dudey HAVE to win this game to stay alive and show their faces on Kali again. Let’s hope they lose so that they’ll come to Nohunters and be in a Bob_the_Newt report or something ok?

The game was about to start when Dudey, after complaining about the lag with 2 referees and almost insisting that I leave, had to go... well, take a dudey. We waited patiently for the end to this gastronomical wonder, and finally, Dudey returned, several pounds lighter.

The Settings:
Map - RiverWar
Sexy Bitches - Dudey Purple Toss NE, Maven Red Toss SW
DAG - Caglomera Blue Zerg E, Draegon Brown Toss NW

If you forget which player is what color, just look at the minimaps in the pictures. These also shows position.

Dudey started the game at a distinct disadvantage. Caglomera, the zerg, was directly to the south of Dudey, while Draegon was beside Dudey to the left. Additionally, Caglomera scouted Dudey with his first overlord on it’s first pass. Maven, on the other hand, was as far south and west away from the action as he could be... at least there was no lag, so I didn’t feel compelled to leave the game to Mark4 as ref and reporter.

The Early Builds
Each protoss player went with a quick gas build to robotics bay. Draegon went for an early double robotics bay, which is the fastest way to drop a reaver, because you can build the reaver while the shuttle is still in the queue on the other bay (Mark4 was full of useful tidbits during the game). Caglomera went double hatch, then gas, then power hydra drop build. I believe he went hatch first to power more drones before losing mineral economy for gas.

Dudey asked Mark4 to pause the game for more gastronomical adventures, and when all of the other players reluctantly agreed, Dudey left for parts unknown, again returning a bit leaner and meaner.

Oddly, Dudey was the first to drop, but it was 2 zealots and a goon that landed on the zerg island. They showed themselves to the single hydra that was there, then retreated to the northwest corner of the island. The hydra was the only one of it’s kind at this point, and I can’t imagine why Dudey didn’t do a bit of damage before acting as the diversion for Maven’s reaver drop behind the mineral line. Dudey must have planned to destroy any drones that fled from the reaver... either that or he was busy shifting around in his chair wishing for some Pepto Bismol. Hmm... well, it was one of the two.

Droppings
Inspired by Dudey, every player began a series of drops. Dudey and Maven had dropped 3 Dragoons and 2 Zealots on Caglomera's Zerg. The purpose of this attack, as I found out later, was to suicide a spire, because Caglomera's Mutalisks had been a factor in game one. Maven followed the first shuttle closely with a reaver drop, and the pressure was on. Draegon had already planned a double reaver drop on Dudey though, and since Caglomera was so close, Draegon stopped there first to save his partner.

Caglomera had 4 Hydralisks in slow transit to Dudey's base. After focusing their fire on 2 unattended Dragoons, 3 wounded Hydra went to work on Dudey's probes. A newly made goon and the probes themselves fended off the attack with several losses, but the attack was followed up by the dropping of one wounded Reaver. Draegon had kept one reaver alive after saving his partner. The brown shuttle returned to the protoss base for more troops while the reaver fired away. Dudey had enough sense to run his remaining probes to a safe spot and managed to use "good popping" to destroy the wounded Reaver. Goon popping is like Reaver popping, only about 456 times less effective, but in this case, Dudey smacked down a reaver with one Dragoon, thanks to smart shuttle use.

Maven hadn't been idle of course, and kept continual Dragoon and Reaver pressure up on the beleagured Zerg. Caglomera saved his drones, but lost one of his Lairs and alot of mining time. While Maven occasionally, but rarely, assisted Dudey, Draegon often stopped off at Caglomera's base to ward off Maven... Both Dudey and Caglomera were in serious trouble.

Dark Templar Trouble
Draegon had a devious plan however. Dudey was entirely without detection, and a newly formed Dark Templar was on it's way to put everyone's favorite gastronomical performer out of action... permanently! Draegon also went for two stargates and expanded to the nearby islands. I suppose he was taking a risk in doing so much expanding and teching, but it would pay off if Maven kept his attention on Caglomera. Maven on the other hand, continued to crank out Dragoons and Reavers in alarming numbers. Caglomera also made a desperate expansion attempt to the island just to the south of his main.

What came next will have Dudey bragging forever and Maven forever reminding him who carried the game. Dudey killed the Dark Templar with 3 scarab shots. One on a probe placed near the Dark Templar pounding on the Nexus, then one on the Nexus, then another on a nearby probe. The splash killed the Dark Templar, and Dudey was absolutely thrilled with himself. I have to admit, it was pretty slick. Of course, while Dudey was doing this, Maven preparing an assault to end the game.

1.3 Isn't the Current Version!!!
Draegon was playing straight out of Zileas 1.3 and was powering scouts after reavers, but unless he could intercept a four shuttle drop, they weren't going to save him... and River war is a large map. Maven headed straight north and annihilated Draegon's first expansion with goons and reavers. Dudey got himself back online very quickly, and did a double (reaver/goon) shuttle drop on the beleagured Caglomera... Both DAG players fought back as well as they could, but the steamroller was gaining momentum...

Their drops growing in size and power, Dudey and Maven attacked Draegon's main and last expansion simultaneously... once this attack succeeded, the rest was academic and DAG graciously surrendered, anticipating the final game of the series.

Check out some post game comments from Dudey and Maven below.

Author's Note: In spite of busting on Dudey, let it be noted that he performed extremely well under 2-1 pressure for most of the game... but Maven would like it noted that Dudey nearly got owned by ONE dark templar.

Make sure to read Mark4's report on Game 3!