Once upon a time there was a boy named WizZard.
He was not gay.

He wanted to be the best of the best of the
StarCraft/BroodWar players. But, he was not. So he came up with this brilliant
new strategy...In the middle of a game he would just say: "I like
lesbians..." and hopefully they would freak out into a horny state that
made them jerk off and ruin their keyboard and mouse. This didn't work...

After lot's shots on this strategy, he made a another
one. He tried to make units, lots of units. But just making units didn't do
anything, so he guessed he'd better get a mouse.

When he came home with a mouse he didn't understand how
it would help, because it's ass was to wide for the plug. Then he complained to
the pet shop, and then realized that this was not the mouse he wanted. After a
quick stop at the brothel, he finally made it to a computer shop. Bought the
mouse and headed home...

Then he logged on b.net and hooked up with some people,
it was a joy to have a real computer mouse at last. Then he found him self
suddenly in a game, where he was not supposed to play, he went like :"WTF?".
He was told that he was only to observe....

But WizZard didn't lisen. He tried to kill off the other
observer with this brilliant new strategy:

WizZard never became a great SC/BW player, unfortunately.

...and he was not gay.

I hope you hated this Report, and I hope you pass it on
to your grand newbies.