"I'd like you to know that if I had saved even one probe from the death of my last mineral only nexus (after having my probes ensnared and then getting to fight cracklings with them) I was planning on putting "The Imperial March" by John Williams on the stereo and microing the robotic little bastard to victory"
-Mark4
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| InfestedBlade's Epic Crusade | | | Author: | | | IP: | static-2XXXX | | Date: | 03/06/00 04:03 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | Famous Reporter(1), Starcraft(1), Problem: Broken Images(1) | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 8, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for |]agomar: 8.6667 |  | 
Hello, and welcome to another |]agomar report.
This marks the opening part of the Epic saga of InfestedBlade, the first book in his ongoing crusade to secure a future for the truth and honor that he mistakenly believes he represents!
So join our hero on this glorious strife, and gaze in awe in this first awe-inspiring chapter as he does battle with the mighty Leopard the-not-so-Lame, famed destroyer of all those who don't oppose him!
Pre-Pregame Report
There was a light mist slipping silently over the mossy ground, drifting slowly off into the moonlit night. A few meters to the left, a couple crickets chirped away happily, and the deeply satisfying, barely definable scent of spring hovered above the landscape.
[ex] Garret strolled out of his rickety little shack, and stood in the middle of his strangely sprawling lot, gazing up at the beckoning stars that pierced brilliantly through the inky black mantle of night shrouding the sky above.
He coughed, then suddenly fell to the ground, sputtering and choking violently. The crickets scattered, the chirping stopped, that thin subtle mist wafted away and the serenity was gone for good.
Garret had just remembered his Starcraft game, which was to be exclusively reported by moi, on request from his best friend [Leopard]! He raced to his hut in a frenzy, yet viciously banged
his head against the door. Determined, he leapt to his feet, barreled towards his ‘house,' but crashed into his door once again. Swaying slightly, he wildly scrambled up again, only to slam into the same door, nearly breaking his right arm and severely damaging his favorite curl of hair.
Then he remembered: he had just erected a new wall behind that entrance, to trick any intruders that might foolishly think that a doorway led to the inside of a house. Yet Garret would not be fooled so easily by his own devious trickery. He struggled up the five foot high walls of his shack, managed to gain a foothold and, madly clawing at the straw roof, jumped to his small wooden chimney. After 15 minutes of work, he managed to get himself through, then became deeply
disturbed at the fact that a robber could do the same. He'd have to seal off that opening too, especially since there were obviously masses of criminals lurking about 100 miles from the Big City.
Well, anyway, by the time Garret reached his computer, he was extremely tired, and when his flickering machine crashed three times in a row, he fell asleep at the controls, and started to snore loudly. The computer obviously didn't like this, and so decided to crash for a final fourth time. There was to be no battle report about the vaunted Garret the Glorious, who unwittingly set the stage for the epic InfestedBlade chronicles.
Pregame Report
Meanwhile, I was hanging around in nohunters, waiting with Leopard and InfestedBlade, who had just read a number of my reports and wanted to observe a game with me. I coasted into the channel at 7:05. It was now 8:10. Needless to say, this was distressing. Very distressing. Infact, violent thoughts were beginning to float through my mind concerning Garret, and InfestedBlade was already describing how he enjoyed shooting cats. I responded with "omg, you too?" then resolved that this was absolutely ridiculous, and that Blade should be given the chance of a lifetime: a spot in my report =). And so it was that when [Leopard] returned from the washroom, having fallen in and still washing off the filthy residue, I initiated a showdown between his awe-inspiring self and the mighty InfesteBlade. Little did I know this was to be the start of Blade's epic crusade for justice and truth . . . .
Leopard insisted on Lost Temple, so I miserably agreed, and the two bitter foes signed in almost instantly. Useless chatter heralded their appearance, so I quickly pressed the Start button to put an end to that, or at least be able to get it on some half decent screen shots. About two minutes into the highly promising game, my computer decided to do something very strange, namely freeze and embelish the sides of my screen with multiple orange threads. Somehow I noticed something was wrong, and so, after another 10 minutes of fumbling, shut down the blasted thing and sailed into nohunters again moments later, demanding a rematch. Once more our heroes logged into my glorious game, once more strange and slighty scary utterance marked their arrival, and again the two warriors descended onto the Lost Temple, choosing Blue Protoss and Red Terran respectively ( the best colors with the best races! ). But this good fortune was not to last, since my computer somehow managed to shut down again! This had never happened to me before!
Well eventually the game started for the final time, with some very heart-felt comments by me:
While Blade is ecstatic that he had the unusual presence of mind to be able to somehow click the Zerg race selection button. Wow. He should get a medal.
Well anyway the brave commanders found themselves upon the sprawling, arid plateaus of the Lost temple for the third time another few minutes later, with Blade morphing in as brown Zerg at 3:00, while Leopard warped his mighty Protoss tribe into being at the 6:00 position. Let the games begin!
Mutalisk Magic
Infested Blade started the battle on a very quick note, spawning six zerglings with extreme speed, and marching them over to Leopard's fledgling base. It looked as if the game would be won in ultra lame fashion, since not only were there no zealots in the bustling orange base, but more and more lings were being hatched from their revolting eggs in the evil brown main, and six of the ravenous little beasts were already half way to their goal. Leopard's next comment looked as if it wouldn't help . . .
but obviously Blade was deeply frightened and horrified, so he qued his little lings to spread out and lurk about in every major resource spot in the map, besides the vaunted islands, of course.
Both warriors decided to tech up rather quickly, yet the Executor obviously wanted a solid lower tech ground beginning to inflict severe damage upon the enemy Cerebrate right from the start. Hurling a last, cryptic curse at his cowering foe . . .
which made absolutely no sense ( as usual ), the brave Leopard decided to mass produce zealots. Soon, two popped out of his gateways, followed by many more as he slowly teched up through the ranks of Protoss science, adding an assimilator and a towering cy core to the glittering spires of his base.
InfestedBlade, however, was not happy at how his first epic conflict of his first epic crusade in the first epic battlereport written about his epic self was going. I looked at his operation down here on this desert planet, and thought something was wrong . . . I couldn't figure out what it was . . . .
Oh yeah, he didn't have an expansion, and this game was entering its middle point. He was also facing a Protoss opponent. In the words of the vile cerebrate himself, "I gotta do something here or I'm dead." Launching a mighty tech campaign, he rapidly morphed a Spire, threw up a number of the dreaded sunken colonies and seized an expansion at top center plateau's natural ( cough ). Leopard, however, like the map hacker he isn't, had phased in a stargate and was warping in another at lightning speed, with the first corsair screaming up out of its psi-induced hold just as three mutas bore down upon the flickering town. The Zerg fliers cunningly spaced out, and chased away the offending fighter within seconds. Now the peon line was assaulted, yet two more corsairs soared down upon the offenders and slaughtered them all ( ouch ).
Blade was unfazed. He dug his disqusting little infested claws into the stinking ground and staunchly vowed that the he would destroy his cunning enemy, no matter what. Furious, he summoned forth another squad of muats and sent them on their way, meeting desperate corsair resistance. The 'sairs were driven off, and it looked like the game was finished. More zerg fliers screeched into battle, saliva dripping from their gaping fangs, and Leopard's minions cowered in the fog of war. Now, however, the cerebrate made a critical mistake, attacking the massively armoured and shielded
stargates rather than the vulnerable probe line. Two more corsairs lept from their makers and the combined fighter/dragoon force raced onto the scene, massacring the flailing attackers in a wild, bloody rampage.
Can the Leopard change his Spots?
The Praetor was hurt, and from his standpoint, the war looked lost. he had been quite severely mauled, and his economy was hurt. However, what he didn't know was that his superficially terrifying opponent had a horrible economy consisting of only two bases with few drones, and
that his ground force as it stood would be more than enough to wipe out all opposition. Leopard teched up to high templar, phasing in a Citadel rapidly followed by an Archives, after which he produced two of the mighty magicians to deal
with the swarms of mutalisks he was sure would soon come. Wisely, he ordered his entire army to his natural, warping in a nexus and token defense, preparing for his day of revenge and sending observers skittering throughout the entire planet. Detecting only the single Zerg expansion, he laughed darkly and marched his seemingly unending forces over to eradicate the tiny little mote that was Blade's sole mineral resource outside of his sprawling main.
The little infestation went down in no time to floods of dragoons, the only noble resistance being offered by a couple drones chilling out near the hacthery. Although the attacking minions were nearly defeated ( lol ), all was blown away and the Protoss Warriors stomped on towards the Main. InfestedBlade had been warned of the oncoming attack, and hunkered down around his small cluster of tech structures and double hatcheries as the first wave of corsairs sailed in to engage the helpless fleet of overlords hovering at the north side of the beseiged cerebrate's base.
It wasn't pretty, as you can see.
They met a single 'lord on its way and sent their love to its downed carcass, then headed over to smash six more to bits of blood splattered upon the pulsing Zerg organ structures. The advancing Protoss brigade met up with about a group of vicious hydras, whose number had just been diminished by a cloaked Dark Templar scout before he gave his life for Aiur when a mean-spirited overlord sagged onto the scene. The Hydralisks threw themselves upon their attackers, which proved to be a bad idea when they were gunned down and zapped to nothingness by the crawling Protoss platoon. All hydras were massacred, even those that desperately tried to halt the relentless assault by taking quick shots from high up upon the towering cliff.
Now the main force burst through the undefended choke, and encountered resistance from a number of sunkens and newly hatched group of zerglings. The upgraded lings did admirably well, and nearly ripped all dragoon resistance to smoldering scrap metal, yet the force moved forward, blasting everything to the ground until it was finally halted by hydra reinforcements. But all was not yet lost for the mighty Executor of the Protoss legions . . . .
Infested Blade was badly mauled ( *cough* ), yet still he sturggled to stay alive. Quickly, he decided to do the ultra gusu thing, and rapidly hatched three sunkens, along with a spore colony and a number of hydralisks. Rather then doing the
cowardly pathetic act of placing the dreaded hydras at the ramp, he instead resolved to keep them back near his courageous sunkens which he was sure would win him the war.
[Leopard] grinned a grim, determined smile, as he ordered a glorious warrior probe to form for him a new expansion at his never before considered natural. He summoned forth his awe-inspiring military, and ordered them to set off on a three day march across the arid deserts to conquer for once and for all the Lost Temple of the Xel Naga. The epic struggle through the dirty brown sands ended up taking only a few minutes, and soon an enormous force of countless dragoons, zealots and high templar milled about before the ramp, with corsairs screaming valiantly into battle overhead.
All seemed over as the flailing Zerg Swarm threw themselves fanatically at their psionic enemies, and even the brave gusu sunkens were blasted to bits of red gore upon the sandy land. The corsairs screamed in above the furious action, downing the poor little overlords once again; soon even another rapidly erected chobo defense was blown away, and the pathetic pulsing organic outpost was finally sacked and torn down into nothingness.
Yes, the Leopard had changed his spots and turned the game around . . . with a final "gg," the vile cerebrate known only as InfestedBlade took to his revolting transport and flew slowly, ponderously from this dry, dusty world once and for all.
Stats
This has been a |]agomar production
BTW, if you ever get the chance to play one of these players, by all means, do it. They are great sports and really know how to play a game! Stay tuned for Part 2 of Blade's crusade, where he battles me and Leopard in a titanic Free For All . . . and gets his revenge!
Whew . . . . hope no HTML mistakes . . . .
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