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| Big FFA Night episode one | | | Author: | | | IP: | dialup-2XXXX | | Date: | 03/22/00 04:03 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 7, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for [{o}]: 6.9333 |  |
New series, enjoy!!
Intro
Hello everyone and welcome to "Huge FFA on Big Maps" night. Tonite we visit the Green Valleys in search of a good game. My 4 companions .Curly(Curly), Master{SB}(Master), Arwez(Wez) and Grimling(Grim) are eager to put on a show for you viewers at home. I guarentee that you won't be disappointed. As I said before, the battlefield is Green Valleys. I had many terrible experiences here against Protoss and Terran. Cliffs over every expansion and starting spot means turbo newbie heaven. Green Valleys is very large, a 256x256 map, while also being very hard to find any other people. And now, since the map desription is done, on to the player desriptions. First up is .Curly. .Curly is American born, I'm not sure exactly where though. He was once a part of a group called "The Three Stooges", gaining a lot of fame during that period. Unfortunatley, that fame had died out cuz no one likes black and white idiotic TV shows anymore =p. Grimling, hailing from the land 6 feet under, is renowed for escorting people to his humble home. Unfortunatley, he is not the big time killer. Just like he's not a big-time player =[. Arwez, has been arrested many times for warez. As you idiots at home probably didn't guess by now, the name "Arwez" is "warez" jumbled up. Of course I don't expect you guys to know that. Finally, we go on to Master{SB}. Master{SB} stands for Master{SonBitches}. And during the game, we would see why that name was given to him. He moans and groans and cries and...well he bitches more than any other person I know (with the exception of me.) And that's how he got his name =]. And now since all of the chit-chat is done, without further ado, I give you:
Lets Start!!
Contestant 1, Terran Curly, starts off with a Supply Depot on the 8th SCV, like normal.  But the abnormal part of building the SCV was that it was built at the choke. Probably to wall-in. He proceeded to build a Barracks, then another. Last, came a bunker to finish off the wall-in.
Grim, the man who is desperate to be BRed, got Protoss as his race. He started by warping in a pylon, followed by an early gas. After a few probes came a gateway and a forge. As soon as the gateway finished, a probe started a cybernetics core. That concluded the starting build of Grim.
Wez, being Terran, quickly got a depot. Two barracks followed right behind. And another depot with a Refinery finished the build of Wez.
Master took to a weird build. A pylon/forge came first. Then a Gateway succeeded the forge. A few probes were built before two cannons put an end to the build order of Master (it sounds kinda weird saying Master. It's like saying he's my master, which he is not.)
Key Buildings
Grim, teching very quickly during his opening build order, got a robotics facility. A Photon Cannon was built to protect the base also. He then built a dragoon to add further protection.
Curly started two factories to start his tech. Next came a starport as soon as the first factory finished. An academy was next on the list, then an engineering bay. A command center was built at the natural as Curly knew nothing could get in his base due to his wallin. He put 4 SCV on gas and began to accumulate some resources.
Master got another gateway making his total 2. Then a robotics facility came up, a little after Grim's. He built some more cannons, then a few goons. As soon as the robotics facility finished, a shuttle emerged from it. Finally, a robotics support bay was built, most likely leading to reavers.
Wez simply got a factory and a starport. A little after that, 3 starports were cranking out wraiths.
The Time of Macro
From looking at the subtitle, you can probably guess most of the players started to macro. Well you're right. Master (damn that seriously sounds weird) expanded to the natural while getting a Citadel of Adun. He then put up many more structures, knowing no one would attack him this early. 4 cannons were built to guard the newly warped Nexus. And in the main, I saw two robotics facility, and 4 gateways. Unfortunatley, Master didn't have enough money to support the 4 gateways and 2 robotics facility. Much like he can't support his family with groceries =]. He ended this section of the BR with his favorite phrase "I want to win it's not fair you guys sux I am better hmphh!!" in a very whiny tone.
Grim's future was looking not grim at all. He had expanded to an island just above him and was rolling in the dough. He took to building a few Stargates supplemented with a fleet beacon and then quietly said "would you like to visit my humble home?"
Curly, the stooge he is, built some more buildings, such as some Barracks and a Starport. He then decided to scout with a dropship coming out of a previously made starport. As the slowass dropship was going south, it found Grim's expansion, naked and sexy. So he decided to drop that nekkid expansion. 2 tanks and a few marines climbed into the dropship and they headed to the target. And the next thing I hear is..."bang bang SSS ahhh that's the stuff".  Guess what that means. It doesn't matter what it means!! But I'll tell ya for the record. It means tanks are beating down the nexus and marines are killing probes. Grim couldn't bear to watch his only expansion fall into the hands of an idiot like Curly. So he did what he had to. 1 reaver was escorted by a shuttle to attempt to save the half-dead expansion. Too bad it didn't work though. The reaver tried to land right next to a tank, but the other tank and the marines took easy shots at it. And in the end, it turned out as Grim running his shuttle away while healthy marines (well not exactly healthy, they took stim) and undamaged tanks looked to go home victorious. Meanwhile, red planned to drop the stooge himself. A dropship with a tank followed by a wraith dropped on the cliff. Three well placed tanks made short work of the dropped tanks . A stray turret took out the wraith with ease. And Grim stood on the battlefield, happy because he took minimal losses. And finally, to end this dropping hysteria, my Master dropped two goons on Curly, which very quickly got decimated.
If you tighten your grip around many expansions, some are bound to fall out... Well not this time.
Grimling, otherwise known as "the man who expands in FFA a lot of times", snatched the bottom right gas only. He also grabbed the isle expansion he lost recently to a tank drop. But Grim wasn't alone in this expanding hour. Wez took the expansion which is sort of a natural, but its really far away. He left that totally undefended, probably feeling safe because he knew this map was gigantahumongous.
Say goodbye to the Stooge!!
It was definetley time to get rid of that black and white, annoying bastard Curly. All this time he was cracking lame jokes (almost as lame as _KroNe_ but no one can get that lame =p) such as "I'm gonna hit myself on the head huk huk ^^ isn't that so funny?" The master of sonbitches takes no crap like that. He sent 3 shuttles at Curly's base. And yes, the shuttles were filled. And for Christmas, Curly got from Master, 4 Annoying DT, 3 stupid goons, 2 sexy reavers and a middle finger in a pear tree. Reavers shot their powerful and sparkly scarabs, targeting the tanks that are so bothersome. Two scarabs > a tank while 1 DT > a tank without detection. As the 3 tanks almost simutaneously went to hell, the shuttles were back to work again.  The Master's attack slaves were ordered back into the shuttle and went down to the lower level of Curly's base. Reavers did their duty once again as marines showed no fight to the 4 dark templar. The goons bravely protected the reavers while taking a few shots at a nearby barracks as well. All of the Master's bitches helped out in killing Curly's main. But there was a new hope arising. A man on a mission. A man that came back from the dead as a...ghost. His name was Casper, a man who formerly attended the well known school "Heartcutter's Institute of Owning with Lockdown". And that's what he did. He owned the now only reaver (the other one sadly died to some remaining Terran forces) with lockdown and started shooting at it. The DT refused to help, they were on their coffee break. Finally, Master had no choice. He said to the DT "if you don't help the reaver, I will pimp you as badly as the great CraZy pimped the lowly bitch KroNe". Everyone knew the story of CraZy and KroNe. They quickly drank up all the mocha and took out the brave, but dead ghost. The reaver, finally snapping out of the lockdown spell, blasted buildings as normal. Then Curly got smart. He floated the buildings and started to move toward the natural, also defended by a wall-in if you idiots can remember. The DT quickly followed after the buildings, quietly whispering to themselves "c'mon no friggin crap turret". Unfortunatley for the DT, there was a crap turret and the DT were forced to tuck their tails in and run, as tanks shot their Arclites non-stop. While all this happened, Wez had enough time to set up a CC just above the bottom left gas only. Then he put up another CC above that expansion.
So now you have it, Wez is leading the resource race with 3 expansions. Grim is close behind with 2. Master has one as Curly has a whopping...none.
Time to get cheesay!!
As you probably forgot, Grim put up 3 stargates and a fleet beacon a while ago. Well guess what he's been doing with these Stargates. No not build Scouts. Massive in bulk, about 4 carriers with 8 interceptors each slowly moved their big asses toward a newly warped expansion Grim built. A few corsairs brought up the rear of the carriers and a observer also followed just in case. And a good move it was, as a herd of Master's Nike-wearing zealots backed up by skirmishing DT moved in to grab some fresh meat. And grab they would not. Carriers quickly sent their interceptors to take out DT and zealot trash. You probably know that DT cannot jump high enough to actually hurt the carriers. Heck even Nike-wearing zeals can't do that. So Master's ground troops attacked the only thing on the earth, the Nexus. Interceptors shot their little balls of spit as DT and zealots sliced and diced at the Nexus. The carriers won out though, saving the Nexus in the nick of time. Meanwhile, the king of SonBitches had other fish to fry. Annoying Curly was attacked by 6 DT, surprising the Terran by entering the little wall-in through the front door. DT made short work of the bunker that so agitatedly shot at the intruding forces.  A closeby tank was swiftly chopped like wok. That left a few turrets, a marine and a CC to take down. Yummy. Down went the base of Curly with a few slices of those oh-so-dangerous Dark Templar. But Curly wasn't stupid (or not as stupid as _KroNe_ is.) He expanded all the way across the map, looking to stay in the game. The buildings? Ah yes, two science facilities, a factory and a starport floated like huge blimps over to the expansion's cliff. So for now, Curly was safe and secure.
Goodbye Master
Master, the nerd he is, had to go to a (OK I'm gonna bring myself to say it) soccer (ewwww) game. So what happened was, he said "I'll take down someone before I go". So I sat back and watched. Master, who had about 7 gates, 2 robofacs and 2 stargates, did not have any minerals left to use. He decided to be lazy (as usual) and try to win with the units he had. 4 DT screwed up a uhhh "stray" Science facility with the help of a shuttle. This happened while a legion of husky, muscular, sweaty, and downright sexy carriers stormed (and I do mean storm, there were templar on the occasion.  Sairs also accompanied the Carriers.) into Wez's strongest expansion. Around 15 wraith pilots went in cloaked to lay the smackethdown. Unfortunatley, 1 observer was tagging along on this trip. Wraiths went BOOM while very little carriers blew up. Marines were no help to the wraiths, as they only hit the interceptors, instead of the actual carrier. Tanks... well tanks can't hit air so you can guess what happened to them. Many losses were suffered to the Toss in this epic battle. Both the Terran and the Toss seemed to like air forces more than the ground, and they both had massive air forces, but the toss won out, with the practically indestructible combo of Sair and Carriers. And that was the end of that.
The slow death of Wez
As you know, Master had a sporting event to attend. He needed to leave at approximatley this time and with a "gg" and "good luck", he left the game. Now Wez, facing a loss of a very powerful expansion, needed to get back on track. He needed to macro. Grim, on the other hand, was past that stage and was attacking full force. With Curly the idiot out of the picture, he went for the master of warez, Wez. Wez had gotten ready for another large air invasion, but not with valkyries, instead his unit of choice was the oh-so-sucky wraith. Many wraiths grouped up to defend their main against the towering Carriers. Wez screamed out to his men "drink a pint of whiskey and grab a porno mag, this might be your last time to endure the two best things in the world". And that's when they hit. The corsairs entered first, followed by the carriers, then an observer. The wraith put up a good fight. Their so-so air attack brought down about two carriers.  But there were more to go. Terran vs Toss on air... well to quote someone you guys might know is "don't play Toss vs. Terran on air = good joke". Well the rest of the base, after the wraiths was exactly that. Nothing but marines to tear up meant total destruction. While Wez got a few buildings out of there just before they died, most of his units and structures were burned to a crisp. And I thought this was the end...
It ain't over till the Grim Reaper sings.
"Good bye Wez, you're dead" said the gullible camera. But Wez still had two expansions under his control. He could definetley win this back. So a Barracks trained ghosts and a CC was graciously stuck to a nuke silo. Guess what that means. Yes nukes. A ghost crept up to Grim's main and suddenely "Nuclear Launch Detected". I got scared and started looking for the little red dot on my buildings. Then I remembered that I wasn't playing. I guess it's just instinct =]. Well, soon enough I heard "the end is nigh!!!" and I guessed what that meant. I skipped over to Grim's main and saw a big cone shaped thing make a big fire in the middle of Grim's base. 5 surviving tanks then drove over to pick up the scraps. While tanks took out most of Grim's main, Carriers started to move on to Wez's 2nd to last expansion. But he realized that if he didn't bring carriers back to home, he would have no home (just like real life eh?). Well he brought back uh... all of his carriers and D-Webbed to make the job easier. Thunderstorms flew as the tank force was destroyed.
The carriers slowly turned their big asses around and started back to Wez's 2nd to last expansion. After a few years, the carriers finally got there and started wreaking their cheese-smelling havoc again. Soon enough, the expansion was destroyed. But not without losses. Another ghost took out another few more buildings with yet another nuke.  Grim had to be feeling bad by this time, losing to nukes when observer tech was in his hands already. Now Wez needed to hold out till another nuke came. He built a CC at the bottom left gas only to stay alive. Grim however, spread out his sairs to see the whole map, and Wez could do nothing to watch his last working expansion go up in flames. And after a while of running (building structures all over the map) Wez finally gave in, admitting his defeat and giving Grim the win. Grim celebrated his fine win by ordering up some whores (NY style, he likes em dirty) and a few margaritas (sounds weird having whores and margaritas in the same sentence). After a while, he ran out of *** and killed the whores for later use. And that's the last I've heard of him. Tune in next time for Big FFA Night no.2!!!
Winner of FFA: Grimling
All insults, obscenities and blady blah were all jokes. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
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