I am back once more.  No matter how hard I try to lead a productive and 'normal' life, I find myself back on Battle.net.  Actually, I came on most recently to see the final match up of that little Inner Clan tourney of LoR.  It seems as though that mighty Terran Commander, [LoR]-Curly (the one who had Biff-the-Bengalaas on one of my previous reports) has made it to face his last opponent... [LoR]-Aura.  Aura is a little bit more seasoned than some of the others Curly has faced to get here.  But with the Stooges on his side and the finicky Biff ready to intervene if need be, he is ready for the challenge.  So with a 'Nyuk nyuk'  away we go...

Curly got to pick the first map of this best of three and chose Winter Conquest.  Interesting choice since Biff rarely (ok, never) frequents this realm.  Aura feels good as he has warped a Nexus at the 4:00 position.  Curly takes control of his dedicated race's Command Center at the 6:00 position.

Aura knows his opponent is terran and begins a double gate build with placement of his gates close to his ramp (the pseudo protoss wall in).  He sends a probe in the counterclockwise direction and has started making his first of zealots.

Curly commences a wall in at his ramp with a depot and a barracks.  His first scouting SCV starts off in the clockwise direction and therefore, is awarded the immediate knowledge of the enemy protoss base.  Seeing the zealot threat beginning to build, a factory is ordered to construct ASAP.  Soon after the second factory is finished a group of four vultures are loaded with mines and turbo-boosters and are off to see what they can do.

The vultures lay 4 mines in narrow valley leading to the protoss main, then speedily run up the ramp.  Aura has already warped a Cybernetics Core and has a few dragoons waiting.  The hyped-up vultures are able to circumvent the forces at the ramp and race to the back of Aura's mineral line.  Wow, those buggers are fast!  Curly micros a little with the bikes and is able to fend off a dragoon and kill several probes with the assistance of a few well placed and timely mines.  The protoss forces clumsily (not a knock on Aura, just those goons are such a pain in confined spaces) kill all but 1 vulture.  Curly is able to lay two more mines before the bike kicks in high gear, threads a few needles and escapes the base hurt, but alive.

This little harassment foray just pissed the protoss off.  Aura, not to be outdone in annoying attacks, loads up two shuttles with 2 dragoons and 4 zealots and sends them on their way.  The shuttles are able to drop off their payload fairly quickly and the troops land right in the middle of the worker line of the terran.  Curly had just gotten seige researched, though.  3 tanks in siege mode and several marines marching about quelled the threat efficiently only losing 1 tank and a couple of marines, but the SCV's were saved (good thing those workers weren't in my hands, I woulda killed all the SCV's by now <evil Dr. laugh>).  The shuttles disgustedly return to the protoss base, but not before seeing an Engineering Bay completed and an Academy finishing up.  Curly continues with tank production as he adds a Facility to his Starport.

Seeing how speedy vultures beat him at his ramp and mineral line, he let one bike escape, and his fast counter-drop was quickly thwarted, Aura is all pissed off (I can feel his foul mood).  He decides to punish the terran upstart with gay-ness.  2 Stargates are warped in with haste and a Nexus is warped in at his natural.  Mixed dragoons and zealots continue to warp in, also.  A Fleet Beacon is the next structure to warp and begins some sort of research when the first corsairs arrive.

Curly hasn't been idle and begins what he feel will be a 'two finger eye poke' on the protoss by dropping 3 boatfuls at the rear of Aura's base out of detectable range.  A bunker, then a turret, then another bunker as 3 tanks, 2 goliaths 10 marines and the 'little SCV that could' set up for their announcement.  Too late, one of the tanks moved too close and fired off the warning shot.  A stream of dragoons begin to spider waddle towards the threat accompanied by some lusting zealots.  The first goons to get in range are toast, but, "AH HA!" says Aura.  Corsairs fire off some Disruption Web.  This had to be close.  The other observers (Larry, Moe and Shemp) and I note that Aura must have just barely gotten the energy for that.  Like I say, close.  Needless to say, with Web, the protoss are able to rid their base of the terran.

Aura is still pissed, though he fended this attack off much better, and warps in a Nexus at the 12:00 starting position.  Curly has already floated a Command Center to 8:00 and has just commenced mining there.  A large group of tanks soon leave the terran base.  Close to ten of them are spaced out a little and beat back the dragoons and zealots that were starting to rally outside the valley of the terran base.  The tanks continue on a push sieging and unsieging until they are immediately west of Aura's high ground base.  More goons and zealots attack and more of them run away again.  Curly leaves his tank push be for a moment as he drops 3 tanks and a dragoon on the fledgling protoss expansion he just found at 12:00.  1 zealot was not near enough to defend the expansion.

Curly begins to take up his tank push again, but not before expanding again (naked this time) to the 10:00 starting position.  A dropship comes into view to attempt to spot over the ledge for the tanks.  The dropship comes over the ledge to spot for the tanks and is dealt a hand of death as two freshly loaded carriers move towards the tanks.  A 3rd carrier soon joins the two that are ripping the tanks up.  Turrets were in place at his main, but seeing the floating 'blimpy dogs' causes Curly to take 3 SCV's off mineral duty to begin 3 more Starports at the 10:00 expansion.  The Starport Facility at the terran main begins blinking furiously.

The carriers have pointed their noses towards Curly's main, but not before getting proper escort from corsairs.  Webs spring up over turrets and bunkers alike and the carriers move in.  A 4th carrier joins the fray.  Marines are stimming and doing what they can.  Goliaths are coming out of the two factories, but they are not enough, too little too late.  Aura's carriers have the upper hand.  The corsairs find a dropship and kill it off and the carriers raze the center of Curly's main base.  Aura senses the sway of power and issues forth a commanding statement.  6 wraiths are cloaked and on the way.  By the time they get there, there is not much left to save, but they do manage to kill 3 of the beasts before cloak runs out.  Aura may not have cared.  I see he has found the southern expansion and a group of dragoons is busy razing the lightly defended 8:00 terran expansion.

The dragoons at 8:00 marched north to 10:00 where corsairs have shown the final terran infestation.  SCV's and a few wraiths are no match for dragoons (upgraded or not), and the end of Game 1 is here, with Aura up 1-0.

Moe smacks Curly around a little, tells him to get his head on straight and pushes him back into the fire.

"Now get in there! And don't come out 'till you win!"

Curly was a little perturbed and chose to do battle on 'Conquest again.  He wound up with the same start postition.  Aura chose zerg at the last second and morphed in at the 2:00 spot.  The first Overlord is sent to scout 12:00 and very quickly a Hatchery begins morphing near the top of the ramp leading inside the zerg main.  A Spawning Pool is begun also.

Curly started with a decisive move and began his wall in build at the narrow valley choke leading into his base.  This effectively protects both his main and his natural from a fast ground attack.  As he began scouting counterclockwise, he again is the first to find his opponent.  Staying with decisive, bold moves Curly begins construction of a depot at Aura's natural.  Satisfied with the irritating placement, the SCV halts work and continues to scout the zerg.

Aura has a 3rd hatchery and gas now.  A Lair is started as soon as resources allow, 2 Sunken Colonies morph near the ramp, and zergling production commences.  Curly has expanded to his natural, has another barracks constructing and starts his academy.  Looks like mutas and lings for the zerg and candy-coated M&M's for the terran.

Sure enough, as soon as the Lair finishes a Spire immedieately begins followed by a Hydra Den.  I guess Aura wants either hydras or lurkers to go with his mutas.  Curly, on the other hand, appears to be going with a definite idea.  Two Engineering Bays are built simultaneously and another barracks along with.  A turret in the mineral line finishes just in time as 6 mutalisks try to harass the terran.  Unfortunately, there are marines and medics all over the place aching for some action.  Stimpacks are issued and the mutas are forced to only scouting the base and natural, then leave losing 2 before they escape.

Aura obviously didn't like what he saw and figures he better try and attack now before there can be a buildup of forces.  Also, since he sees he is an expansion down already to Curly, he better act fast.  Roughly 2 control groups of zerglings, about a half-group of hydras and the remaining mutalisks converge at the terran wall in.  With the assistance of another turret at his defense to help take care of lingering mutas, the mixed marines, medics and firebats are able to beat down the insurgent zerg without breaking a sweat.  In a matter of about 20 seconds all the zerg forces that were attacking are blown to itty-bitty-zergy-pieces.

Curly had started a Factory before the attack and now content with losing next to nothing of his troop count, begins a Starport and a Science Facility, and of course, more barracks.  Aura has expanded over at the 12:00 starting position and begins rallying hydras and zerglings to the mouth of the valley leading to the terrans.  An Evolution Chamber is up, as is a Queen's nest.  A hive is morphing furiously as Aura is teching to get guardians.  Gotta stop those 'rines!  I see a terran science vessel and the Science Facility researching, and 6 barracks.

Here Curly decides to explore with a control group of marines accompanied by 4 medics.  The marines meet up with the sizeable zerg force at the valley mouth.  Blood spills, the remaining zerg retreat back to base.  The marines give chase, picking off a ling or a hydra as they follow the retreating forces.  When the marines approach the zerg ramp, somehow they got separated from their medics and the zerg quickly take the opportunity and rush out and quell the marines, then the medics that were obviously lesbians (they wanted nothing to do with following the male marines) are slaughtered.  Curly was okay with this.  He had just found the expansion at 12:00 and had dispatched another group of marines and medics to efficiently lay it to waste.

The group that killed the 12:00 zerg goes to meet up with reinforcements in front of the zerg base.  The reinforcements are held up as Aura had commenced rallying to contain again.  Aura has also removed that annoying depot at his natural and has begun morphing a new Hatchery there.  The rallying lings and hydras lay into the troops coming out of Curly's base, but with a few shots of Stim and the flank troops coming from the 12:00, the zerg are crushed.  The terran expand to the 8:00 position and rally up for the push to the zerg base.  

Aura is hatching forces very quickly and is rallying farther and farther away from the terran base.  The terran reach 2/2 on upgrades, and with stim are kicking zergy butt on the way to the zerg main.  The terran forces are under escort from a Radiation equipped SciVessel and are soon at the ramp to the zerg main.  Aura throws all of his remaining attack units at the approaching terran.  The terran have total fun ripping up all the zerg bodies with lead.

It is total frustration with Aura's zerg.  Curly has managed to redeem himself with something called the 'Deep Six'.  Actually, there were 7 barracks, heh.  But, nonetheless, it is these troops:

that inevitably cause this message: as they make their way into the zerg main, ravaging everything in their path.

This game was much faster than the first one.  Curly did very well with the Deep Six strategy and candy-coated M&M's show just how fierce they are against the zerg broods.  Curly redeems himself and it is now tied at a game a piece.

"Nyuk, nyuk.  How 'bout that, Moe?"

"Ah, ya done good.  But, it's not over yet!"

Larry distracts Curly with some encouraging words and Moe smacks him with a hammer and shoves Curly back into the fight with the now determined Aura...

Da Final Showdown

Things got a little serious going into this game, or about as serious as we would let it!  Things were tied and this was the deciding game.  Neither wanted to lose.  Aura went with Protoss again and found himself bottom left.  Curly with his mighty Terran wound up as far away as he could get at top right.

Curly started with depot/rax/depot/gas a bunker then another rax.  He was going to be ready for anything.  Aura went pylon/gas/gate/pylon/gate and then surprised us all with a Stargate immediately following his CyCore.  Both started scouting as a Factory and Academy were started in the terran base.  About this time we saw a Fleet Beacon going up in Aura's base.  Vega immediately stated his disapproval to us fellow observers.

Curly expands (nakedly) to the upper right start position.  A Citadel of Adun has warped as Aura gets his first carrier.  The carrier pauses for a few moments while stocking up on intercepters then heads out with a group of 3 zealots and 1 dragoon.  Hmmm.  Seems as though Curly has a control group of marines heading out of his base and they have a few medics with them- and a vulture.  The two collide in the center of the map.  The carrier only has about 5 intercepters so far and the marines mop up the protoss ground and leave the carrier lingering about in a damaged state as they continue the march towards Aura's main.  The carrier follows and is able to help freshly warped troops to quell the attack in the base, but only after several probes are sent back to Aiur.

Vega again voices his distaste in this strategy.  Curly has a definitive advantage now.  Aura gambled hard-core going for those carriers.

A few vultures are spotted laying mines around the map.  Mainly a few at both ramps of the protoss base and then all the southern and side start positions.  Aura has another Stargate and a Templar Archives.  He also decides to expand to the natural to his immediate north.  Things seem to be falling into Curly's hands well.  One of the mine laying vultures has stumbled upon the lone Nexus with no defense.  This vulture begins to shoot the probes, then trains fire on the Nexus.  Curly also starts another control group+ of marines and medics on the way south.  They are soon followed by a large group of goliaths and more marines.  This bodes ill for Aura.

Aura does get a group of goons and zealots to come out of his base and start north, but they are first hurt by 4 mines that were in their path.  Then they meet the first of the terran force that is going to rally at the east ramp of the protoss base.

Two carriers that were on their way to meet up with the goons and zealots that have turned around and retreated have also retreated.  Curly charges in when upgrades finish on both the marines and the goliaths and are further bolstered by several wraiths.  This force is enough to end it.

Like I said, Aura gambled with the crazy rush on Curly.  Maybe it could work if someone wasn't expecting it.  This game kinda sucked, but it was a good three game match up.  Curly gets the win and the tourney.

Curly is crowned winner and Larry and Moe show up to try and get some glory too.  Curly mouths off with a "Nyuk! Nyuk! Wooo woop  woop  woop" so Larry and Moe decide to work him over some!

-Dr.Zchivago