"Science Vessel is my flying templar! =) D-matrix is my halucination while irradiate is my psi-storm."
-[FLS]Prozerran
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| Spunk and Shandy + Anime chicks!!! | | | Author: | | | IP: | dt0f4n84XXXX | | Date: | 04/16/00 02:04 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 5, Max: 10, Min: 1
Lifetime Rating for ::nobody::: 9.0000 |     |
I returned home one rainy evening just a little bit drunk from the short stop at the bar. The rain was falling in sheets, soaking my umbrella-less self. Droplets of water streamed off the brim of my hat, onto my drenched overcoat. It had been a day of a lot of thinking… The Shandy files were out and were getiing out of control. Word had it that the government secret agents at battlereports.com had the Shandy files up for the mysterious "HOF poll." What was this mysterious poll and what did BR.com want with the files?
I finally reached my door, dripping like a wet rag doll. Wiping my boots on the mat, I opened the door. A small piece of paper that had been shoved in the door jam floated to the floor. Curious, I picked it up, the water from my hands partially smearing the ink. I sobered immediately as I saw Shand'y seal on the note. It read:
Spunk, I have important matters to attend to. Do not ask… do not worry. I suggest you call on our mutual friend Skizzup for help and additional information. Skizzup may have the information we need to keep the Shandy files from becoming dangerous. I have been contacted again by one of the mysteriuos men who wants to help us. He calls himself…"
The water from my hand had blurred the rest of the note in to an unrecognizable smear of ink except for Shandy's seal at the bottom of the page. I shook my head at my stupidity and threw the note across the room. I may not have all the information of the note, but I knew that Shandy was gone…perhaps for a long time. What shocked me most was the reference to Skizzup…
Skizzup was another one of my good friends, but had disappeared a long time ago. I presumed him dead ten years ago, but now it was evident that he was among the living… I knew that I would have to track him down, so I turned to the Shandy files for help. I would look at my first meeting with Skizzup and try and trace his progress from there. He was quite a Fox tho, so I knew it would be a difficult task…
Skizzup's was a student of mine who was to help Shandy and I in our Quest… "ah…his first game," I thought as I stumbled across file #475… a small smirk came to my lips as I remembered the time. I was also slightly drunk that night and somehow my collection of Anime chick pics had gotten mixed into the report…
Accessing File…
Accessing File…
File Accessed: Shandy File #475
File Type: Strategy
File Description: Enter Skizzup.
Enjoy.
(and in the style of WilliamWC3, I bring you yet another title pic :D)
What follows it most certainly a new BR.com low. It is sarcastic, lame, and totally irrelevant to anything and everything. It is immature and totally sexually oriented. In other words, people like us love it :D. I apologize to ~lela~, the one female member of the SC community that I know, for all the pics. I considered putting in an anime guy for "balance," but then I thought "why put in a guy when I can add another girl??" hehe. Don't kill me ~lela~. Please. Besides, it's not me, Spunk made me do it.
--::nobody:: 's disclaimer.
Skizzup had been training under me for quite some time, becoming the gosu of gosus when I finally decided that he was ready for field work. As a requirement of his studies, his first field project would be to come up with a completely new and gosu strategy… His idea was fascinating. He wanted to do what few men had ever done before… he wanted to break the supply limit. His idea was simple enough, a BGH game where I would go all carriers and he would go all Dark Archons. He would then mind control my carriers to surpass the 200 supply limit. The idea looked excellent in theory, but the BGH community was good …very good. Would they be able to use their "mad skillz" to stop our sinister plan? We would soon find out…
I hosted the game and Skizzup joined, followed closely by !WHITEBOY! and Shadowblast . The two opponents looked very tough, with a combined 15 games between them. I knew that Skizzup and I would have to be at the top of our game to defeat them…
As the game started, Skizzup warped in a red toss at the lower left, while I was granted the teal toss in the upper right. Later we found Shadow as purple toss in the lower right and Whiteboy as, appropriately, white zerg at the top mid position. I knew right off that the game wasn't going to be easy, for Skizzup and I were across the map from each other, not a good way to start.
I started my build with the BGH-typical forge first, as did Skizzup… he had learned well. We both began our plan by slapping down cannons outside of our natural. As I was busy cannoning my natural, Whiteboys overlord wandered into my base, seeing absolutely nothing but a forge, he brought an assault of four lings charging towards my base. My four cannons, after a very difficult battle, held of the threat. *phew* that was close. I was a little dismayed, however, for he was matching my pace, 4 cannons to 4 lings… I would have to speed up. A minute later he send another six lings charging at my natural. Six! Would this madman stop at nothing?!?!?! My five cannons were barely able to hold off his six lings, but only because I am an expert in the ways of cannon micro…
White boy parked his overlord on the outskirts of my main, hoping to gain a glimpse at my tech. I was on the ready though and not about to be tricked. I did the gosu tactic of building a pylon and then a cannon underneath the overlord… hahaha he never saw it coming (in the 5 minutes it took to warp) and the overlord was popped like a balloon. And thus the first attack was finished…
I could see that my enemy, Whiteboy, was not one to be messed with. I decided to ignore him and begin my build up. Skizzup and I both got our naturals online and began to take our respective tech paths. By the time I had warped in 10 gates and a beacon, I decided to check out Shadow, who had been silent all game. His force at the time consisted of 2 goons and 4 zealots…um…he MUST have a secret plan…right…? Our opponents were using the awesome plan of build up and don't attack all game, because after white's incredible ling attack, we got no more interruptions. At this point in the report I would like to point out that it is time to include another picture. This portion of text, however, is very small and doesn't really warrant another picture. In fact, the only reason that I am even writing is so I have an excuse to make a report with exorbitant amounts of pics of anime chicks and mass carriers. You, of course, don't mind, because a SC player thrives on pics of anime chicks and mass carriers. In fact, 10 to 1 says that you with right click on all of my pretty pics and choose "save picture" then go into an editing program and edit out all of the empty space and words, leaving only the anime chicks and mass carriers. You will then print out these pics and hide them in some dark corner of the closet where your mom (or wife) will find them and ask you "What the hell are these?!?!" to which you will simply turn red and pretend that you have no idea where they came from. Anywho, I think that's enough text, back to the pictures (like you're even reading the text anyway)
My first order of business was to start pumping carriers from my 10 gates. As the carriers completed I sent them across the map to be mind controlled by Skizzup. Neither Whiteboy nor Shadow was really doing anything, so I just kept sending carriers over to Skizzup and he kept giving them a red paint job and calling them his own. Finally Skizzup started to pass the limit, but I kept making carriers, we thought we'd see how high we could go before we were attacked… See, dammit, another short wasteful piece of text. This report is all about pictures…yea… Now I have a question. When a dark archon mind controls a carrier, does he mind control the captain of the carrier? The whole crew? And who the hell paints it anyway? Why does it change color so fast? Did they remember to apply a second coat of paint? Hmm…I dunno…neither do you. You just wanna see the anime chicks. Well, here you go. Pervert.
Ok, back to the game…after waiting almost an eternity, the opponents finally mustered an attack. Whiteboy came in the top part of my base and dropped about a dozen lurkers in my soil. I realized that I had no obs, so I calmly began warping in an observatory. Skizzup informed me that he would had built an obs, but was about 100 units over his max :D. After the observatory finally warped in, Whiteboy had taken out a good chunk of my pylons and was working on my nexus. I had about 10 carriers sitting there, and as soon as the obs popped out, Whiteboy learned that lukers are not greater than carriers. Who would have guessed tho? It was obvious that Whiteboy was an expert, for he took a risk that maybe, just maybe, his lurker force could destroy my carriers… unfortunately (for him) it was a risk that didn't pay off. Shadow also decided to attack, thinking that his 6 carriers (he had teched to carriers! What a BGH surprise!) would defeat my 10… and they might have, but 6 of Skizzup's dark archons gave them a paint job and attitude adjustment. The opponents were relentless tho, for Whiteboy sent a force of 8(!) hydras to try and finish off the 16 carriers at my base…he was close, but…well, no he wasn't close at all, who am I kidding, he was an idoit and lost. More pics…please don't drool on your keyboard, it's unsanitary.
After that short skuffle, I rebuilt my pylons and sent all of my carriers to get mind controlled by Skizzup and began to manufacture more carriers. Skizzup decided to use all his excess cash and cannoned the whole mid… then Whiteboy struck again. This time he had prepared another lurker drop! Obviously he thought that he could take out my carriers with lurkers THIS time with proper micro. Skizzup maelstromed the force and I quickly brought my carriers to attack. The carriers, however, we empty and so the interceptors slowly built and pecked at the lurker's backs. Eventually they all died (let me repeat that…he attacked carriers with lurkers…TWICE) Skizzup managed to mind control a lurker and one of purple's dark templar, which brings me to an interesting point. Do lurkers have minds to control? Wouldn't a DA have to mind control the overmind or at least an overlord? And what would happen if a DA did control the overmind? Would he get control of all the zerg forces? And if a DA MCed a FBI man with a PhD and a B.A. in MDA, would the CHP bust his ass for DUI? …just wondering. =P
It was about time to move in for the kill. Skizzup had reached the goal of 50 carriers and we were just about to attack when Shadow attacked my base with 10 carriers and 2 arbiters. Skizzup proceeded to mind control the 2 arbiters and then attack Shadow's carriers with 50 cloaked ones. I had never seen so many interceptors in my life… the blotted out the screen, and one volley of interceptors could take out one of Shadow's carriers. Shadow did manage to kill the 2 arbiters, but that didn't stop Skizzup from turning and clobbering Whiteboy like a soft melon. Skizzup killed the zerg base in record time, forcing Whiteboy to leave the game. As Skizzup turned his force to Shadow's base, Shadow showered us with praise. Skizzup replied by going in and mind controlling everything in sight. Shoadow seemed to be quite a nice fellow (despite his lack of SC skills) so we gave him some tips, destroyed most of his buildings, and like the kind gents we are, allied him :D Now wasn't that exciting! No? well, all you care about are pics anyway J here! More pics! Yay!
Then Skizzup decided to cover the screen with carriers…
Well, I hope you have enjoyed the report, don't take any of it too seriously :D Spunk and Shady with anime chicks…does life get any better?? Hehe. Btw, 2003 report owns you.
Who is Skizzup? you gotta find out :D
Im done. Really.
The beaver says "Moo."
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