"Mog, let's be mature about this.... nanny nanny boo boo!!"
-Drefsab
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| BR under the influence | | | Author: | | | IP: | adsl-63-XXXX | | Date: | 05/07/00 04:05 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 3, Min: 3
Lifetime Rating for Samwise415: 3.7500 |  | WHEE! OK, I just got back from a part at which I had a few mind-altering substances, and I remembered Pitt's drunken BRs, and I thought, HEY! I should play SC now and BR it. So I give you to the account of my stoned BGH game (yeah right, like I'm gonna play seriously in this condition... it makes a better story if I actually BEAT someone while I'm smashed, right?)
So I join a 3v3 BGH game and pick my favorite protoss. Long story short: one person lags out. Slowly and painfully. Other people leave quickly. And somehow it winds up with one of my allies, me, and some other person.
The other person starts talking about allied victories, and normally, I'd say OK, but I want to kick some ass and I'm not thinking rationally. So I stay silent and don't ally up. Finally, my ally says "if he won't ally let's just kill him" and stops sharing vision. Yes, ladies and gents, it just became a 2v1. And I'm drunk. And stoned. What will happen?!?!
Anyway, first a bit of placement so you can visualize. I'm teal protoss, bottom right. My former ally is orange zerg, mid left. My enemy is blue zerg, top right.
At the time orange (ladymaysomething) stopped sharing vision, I noticed that he had an extractor, pool, and evo chamber morphing. No real defense. I knew what I had to do.
Teach this damn chobo a lesson.
I sent my first zealot in that direction while the pool was still morphing, and killed every drone there. By the time four lings morphed to take out my zealot, all mining had come to a halt.
I sent four more. The defending lings were turned into bloody pools of ling blood on the creep, and my zealots polished off the base, unopposed from blue. Orange left before I could finish tearing things down.
And THAT, my friends, is why backstabbing me is a bad idea. I don't think anyone has ever done it successfully. ;-)
At this point, blue, who had seemed fairly comfortable earlier, started to get nervous and talk again about allying. I replied that a 2v1 seemed fair enough to me. And I sent my zealots in.
They were massacred by hydras and sunkens. Joy! A challenge!
Fortunately, I had not been idle at home, and I had something like three gates producing goons nonstop, with the range upgrade and a couple of forge upgrades (I think weapons and armor). I sent my goons in. They did some damage before dying. I sent some more in. They did a little more damage. I sent some more in... just in time to see lurkers burrowing. And me with no detection. Well, shit.
I put my goons on hold position outside his base, ready to pop the first thing that put its nose past the choke, while I teched to observers quickly. As I was teching to observers, one speedy overlord flew into my base, and was popped without unloading anything. Which I knew what that was about. Anyway...
I got my observers. The first one accidentally flew too far and got popped by lord-supported hydras. (remember that I'm not sober at this time.) The second one hovered right over the lurks, and the goons cleaned house.
I kept sending in reinforcements, having five gates at that time, ten goons at a time, and leveled the base. Blue started talking about how it wasn't fair, and I told him politely that he sucked ass and that if he couldn't beat me 2v1, I sure as hell wasn't going to ally him. Because:
A) It was 2v1. I mean, come on.
B) I was (am) drunk.
C) I suck anyway. There's no excuse for losing to me.
As I was destroying his base. he sent a few mutalisks at me for defense (as opposed to the hydras which he had geared towards before, or lings, or anything smart like that). I had to laugh.
When his base went down... HE STILL WASN'T ELIMINATED! BAH! So I sent my goons on a world BGH tour, letting them pause to knock down the starts of all the people who had left early. Finally I found blue's new base at top left. And started pounding it.
On the way in, I spotted about a control group of muties headed for me. So I detained a control group of goons and had them guard my peon line. Sure enough... the muties went right there. And were pelted with singularity charges, or whatever the hell it is goons spit. They managed to kill (drumroll) TWO PROBES before they all died.
My other four or so groups of goons went to the new base. Blue (his name was feichong or something like that) bitched a bit more about how it wasn't fair because it hadn't been 3v3, and I let him know that I probably could've beaten one more chobo like him and orange, so it was no skin off my nose. His base went down as he continued to bitch. And I did the victory dance.
Victory: ME!
Lessons learned:
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