&ltstupidity>

&ltsarcasm>

So, everyone loves Mark4, but tonight, it was different. As he entered the channel nohunters, there was nobody, (count…zero) NOBODY who stuck their heads up Mark4's ass. Neither was he talking, nor was he being talked to. His presence was only known when he kicked someone out of the channel. Then, out of nowhere, Mark4 spoke! (gasp, "OMG") His exact words were "1v1 zerg player?" Not many wanted to challenge 1100+ Mark4 in a match, but not all of us were hiding in cower in the corner crying and Murz agreed to the Zerg vs. Protoss matchup. Well, seizing my only chance to stick my red-capped head up Mark4's captain ass, I asked to observe. Murz didn't care, so didn't Mark4. My fellow gay observer, [M]adZealot asked to observe the game, and that was the only thing he said the whole time. Anyways, as you could have guessed, the pvz "imbalanced" game started on the Lost Temple.

Mark4 had gotten the protoss after choosing it. Being the conceited person he is, Mark4 didn't answer when I asked to secret to getting protoss consistently. Murz was being gay and chose zerg, and changed it at the last minute to zerg. =] For the first minute or so, the only action was me exclaming and stupid gay other observer attacking my landed CC. Mark4 did the overused strategy of warping probes and a pylon, and Murz did a weird build of constantly morphing drones and an overlord. Murz was at 9 o'clock postion and sent his first ovie to the 6 o'clock position. The stinking flying elephant actually found the protoss base there. You know what that means? Yep, Mark4 was protoss. So, Murz was still confused at where Mark4's base was, and sent one drone to 6 and one drone to 12. As one of them was slithering down the ramp while singing Celine Deon, the gay drone found a probe approaching him. Yep, the probe was singing Backstreet boys. They eyes/light detectors met, and started to circle each other. Although I knew mechanic/bionic sexual behaviors are abundant in the world of internet, I was still mystified at the probe's penetration and the drone's green cumshots. Unfortuanetly, they weren't compatible and soon went on their own ways.

Mark4 for had been good and teched to zealots by making a gateway. Meanwhile, Murz-The-Obvious made a hatchery at the 12 mineral only and forced one of the female drones to morph into an extractor. Knowing she couldn't let her boyfriend see her getting all big and large, she "encouraged" her boyfriend to morph into a spawning pool. But he wasn't stupid. He, of course, noticed the excessive touching between her and another drone. How? Because they had been going to the same mineral patch on purpose and grinded on each other's asses while wondering how they "accidentaly" been sent to the same patch. She loved him, but he didn't trust her. He was a prick, and told the overmind. The cyclops-less human being then bitch-slapped the bitch and forced the bitch to turn into one of the bitchest building: the extractor. Overmind was fair and being fair, he bitch-slapped the bitch's bitch for telling and told that bitch to turn into one of the gayest building: the spawning pool.

Meanwhile, Mark4 hasn't been idle and constructed zero additional buildings. But when "meanwhile" was complete, he constructed another gateway and a pylon. I was a smart man and knew when the zealot came out of the gateway, that Mark4 didn't have templar technology yet. To me, though, all this wasn't important. What was important is that the stupid dumb gay observer had attacked my base and I needed to retaliate. Therefore, I threatened with this.

Well, FINALLY, after the hot gay sex, the corresponding peons reached their enemies base. Murz was now able to combine the race-information from the overlord and the location-information from the drone to come up with a conclusion: they were playing on Lost Temple. Bleh, disgusted with Murz' stupidity, I went over to Mark4's house to help him up with some playing. He needed tips, and I knew he would welcome me. So I manually began out-of-body experience and went over to Mark4's house. FYI, I saw Mark4 had a Richard Simmons' poster, but I won't tell anyone. Aside from that, he was being unconfortable knowing that my spirit was ass-humping him and told me that I should leave. Well, he didn't exactly said that. He said "Get the hell out of my ass, bitch. Don't make me make some carriers just for your comand center." He was as clear as a table so I asked him one more thing. Once again he showed his superiority by not answering so I told him . Again, no answer. I started to like spirit-to-ass humping as much as I like putting food on the table, but I wanted to respect Mark4's virginity and came back home.

I have completely caused destruction at my stupid dumb fat gay observer's CC and while I was having fun his SCV's life support slowly wither away in torturing pain, I caught a glimpse of Mark4's zealots moving towards somewhere. I had no idea where they were headed until Murz moved his overlord that was in his ramp to his natural. There rested 3 zealots but reinforcements were coming in at a rapid rate. Mark4 had construced a forge trying to tech to cybernetic core, and few more pylons to keep up the zealot warpage. When the forge completed, he was now able to make the cybernetic core. He hadn't yet built an assilimator, ooops, he had. Ah man, I forgot to put that he made an assimilator after the second gate. Damn, I hate this about computers! You can't go back and add stuff that I forgot to include! DAMNIT! Oh well, anyways, zealots kept on arriving at the zerg's natural. Murz' ovie had constant surveillance of the place and went on ahead to say "not enuf" "come back later". Mark4 heard that and followed the orders to the word. When the 3 zealots were inforced by 2 more, (around 3 seconds later) he attacked. Using great micro, Mark4 got away with 3 zealots remaining, triamphnatly walking towards the main after dispatching 8 zerglings and 2 drones. Murz was in trouble and he knew it. He took all the drones off mining, (giving Mark4 the impression that he had no income, although his 12 mineral-only was coming around nicely with around 7 drones) and attacked three zealots. Sure, those three weren't much of a problem to arounda dozen drones and additionally made zerglings, but the problem was the constant reinforcent. Mark4 had made another gateway and kept sending zealot after another. At one point, all 3 zealots were in red, but Murz wisely not attacked any one of them and just ran around in circles and promptly painting the ground red with glee as the zealots got free hits on the helpless wittle wunny bunnies.

Sure, Murz tried to add humiliation of being defeated by drones to Mark4 by cum and feathering the zealots, but here came dragoons. 5 initial zealots and around a constant stream of 5 zealots had already killed most of the drones and the spawning pool, the dragoons finally entered the battle. They started off the evening in a perfect bloodshed as they puntured the flying ball of fart which was floating on Murz' natural. Blah blah blah, dragoons > hydras and drones > goons, blah blah blah dragoons > buildings, blah blah lurker blah blah can't reach blah blah lurker dead blah blah dragoons rock blah blah main is destroyed.

The blah blah's were getting annoying to Murz and he just came his main up. He, still not knowing his move was so obvious, tried another expansion at the 12 main. Mark4, being the expansion whore that he is, had his natural in warping transition. Although not much of a threat was posed, he turtled by making 300 mineral worth of canons. That turned out to be the mortal mistake that Mark4 made. The comp isn't stupid. The Pentium Processors that Mark4 use have artificial intelligence, and can differenciate between ^^ strat and a T.T strat. The comp knew that going 2 canons against a main-less zerg was a T.T strat and did the only thing it could do to teach him a lesson. Oh well…I hope Mark4 has learned his lesson to not to play with his bitch. =]

Byeya
</stupidity>

p.s-if you took any offense, plz be aware that I didn't mean to. So, if you did, I apologize and hope you go to hell…

</sarcasm> =] I ROCK ASS!! Comment like whores, plz..

hope you liked it in some way or another. The game itself was surely one-sided, but I just wanted to make a funny report. Hell, I think I wasn't sarcastic and stupid enough…oh well. Although it took only 2-3 hours of my time, I did try my best in those conditions…

byeya

p.s-Tao round-5 is coming up soon. Don't worry, be happy. =]