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| Frozen and Fatal~SCV's Wild Ride! | | | Author: | | | IP: | user-37kXXXX | | Date: | 09/05/00 06:09 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 6, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for Frozen~SCV: 6.0000 |  |
Hey everybody, it’s me…again. I know this report is a little sudden, seeing as how I just barely released a biography of myself, but what happened to me tonight is a story that simply can not wait to be told. Be warned, no pics, only endless text and a completely hilarious account of what happens when you stick two StarCraft junkies out in the wilderness.
Frozen and Fatal~SCV’s Wild Ride
It all started at dinner time. I had just finished consuming my meal of sausage and pasta when my good friend Ryan showed up at my door. You all would know Ryan by his StarCraft alias Fatal~SCV or FatalTheFirebat. We had made plans earlier for him to spend the night at my house, since his house had just finished being built, and his parents were busy moving all their belongings into the new home. Anyway, Ryan told me that he was interested in going “mudding”, a hick term for driving around the woods in a truck.
Now, something you should know about my family is that we are not nature freaks. Quite the opposite. I have never ever been camping or hunting with anyone except close friends, so when Ryan offered me this rare opportunity to spend time with dirt and trees, I readily agreed. So anyway, I grabbed my shoes, a hat, and my cellular phone, (at the insistence of my parents) and headed out the door. Ryan’s truck is this huge navy beast that has been so abused, it takes him 20 minutes to start the damn thing.
So off we go, hooting and hollering like mad man, hell bent on having as much fun as humanly possible…if only we knew what we were getting into.
After about 20 minutes of cruising, we passed by an open dirt lot in the shape of a circle. Ryan pulled into the lot and began driving in donuts. Boy you should have seen the dirt clouds we caused. Earth was flying everywhere and all the while we’re slamming around inside the cabin of the vehicle. I swear it felt like the truck had no shocks, every rut or track we drove over sent both of us straining against our seat belts. I think my head bumped the roof on more then one occasion.
We drove around in that lot for probably 10 minutes when Ryan suggested that we try to find a mudding spot he had been to before. I instantly shook my head in agreement, as the adrenaline was already pumping through my system. We found the second area not 100 yards from the first lot, but this time we had to drive through the woods to reach it. The trail was not very big, to say the least, and the whole time we were driving on it, tree limbs were smacking the windshield and bouncing off the roof. The trail also cut back on itself several times, and Ryan often had to stop and consult his memory on where to go.
Eventually, we reached our destination. It was the same circle shape as the first lot, but in the middle was a grass, mud, and water pit, and along the edges was a small sand bar. Again we took off, hooting and shouting as the truck sped around the small basin. Ryan was hesitant to actually drive through the pit, since not a week earlier he had to help pull a friend of his who had gotten stuck in the same place trying to drive through the mud. At one point, the automobile stalled on the sandbar, but Ryan was lucky enough to be able to drive the truck off the sand without a big problem.
After a while, Ryan and I decided we would attempt to cross the small pit in the middle of the clearing. He chose a spot he thought the truck would clear and pulled around to that area. Ryan backed the truck up to the sandbar, then revved the engine and plunged into the mud.
We never made it across, the truck has just barely gotten into the middle of the pool when it stopped altogether. Cursing loudly, Ryan and I exited the truck to survey the damage. It did not look good. Both of the front tires were encased in mud, and refused to move regardless of what Ryan did to them. The right rear tire was ok, for it wasn’t that far deep into the ground. The rear left tire was the worst, as it rested in a huge hole that it had created when Ryan had tried to clear the pit.
For the next 45 minutes we struggled with the unmoving truck. Ryan tried everything he could think of. We found a plank and tried to put it under the left rear tire but that didn’t work. We tried setting logs around the tires but that failed. We even tried rocking the truck to loosen up the dirt surrounding the tires, but that also was a flop. It seemed like everything we did only made the rut around the tire bigger and bigger. Seeing as how neither of us had planned on getting stuck, we were both wearing white t-shirts and khaki shorts. Ryan also had on brand new white sneakers.
When we finally gave up, we were both covered in dirt and mud, and the truck was practically resting on its bed. Not a single one of the tires was responding to the engine, and when you think it couldn’t get any worse, it did. It started to pour. We had been trying to reach Ryan’s dad for quite some time, but since their new house hadn’t had the phone lines installed yet, and the cell phone was turned off, we couldn’t reach him. Finally I just called my dad, who said he would meet us back on the main road.
This meant we would have to abandon Ryan’s truck, which he was none too happy about. But we really didn’t have a choice. We began sprinting out of the woods, trying our best not to get too soaked and not being very successful. Amazingly, we made it out of the woods without getting lost. By now the rain was really coming down, and lightning strikes could been seen in the distance. Deciding not to wait for my dad (20 minute drive remember), we began walking down the deserted road. It was around 7:30 I think, so it really wasn’t all that dark yet, but I was having fears of being stuck in the middle of no where with no contact to anyone.
I guess we had been walking down the road for about 15 minutes when my dad’s car appeared. Dirty and wet, Ryan and I graciously accepted the lift, and began to debate on what the next course of action should be. We quickly came to the conclusion that we should go and get Ryan’s dad to go to pull out the truck while it was still light.
After another 20 minutes of driving, we reached Ryan’s brand new house. I walked with him to the door, only to hear from his mother that his dad wasn’t feeling to well and that he was going to be pissed off at this new turn of events. I mean, think about it, would you be really happy if you had to go pull your truck out of the mud in a rain storm after you spent all day lugging moving boxes into your house and unpacking them? I think not.
Anyway, I didn’t stick around to find out what happened next. Ryan told me to just go home with my dad, and that he would return to my house as soon as he could, with the truck hopefully.
At ten o’clock that night Ryan finally showed up. He told me he had been out in the woods ever since, and that him and his father had been successful in freeing the truck. He said his dad had attached nylon straps to his truck and then hauled it out using his own truck. After getting the vehicle stuck an additional three times, they finally succeeded in pulling the truck free.
Being the good friend that I am, I offered to drive us both to Wal-Mart where we might pick up a late night snack. Guess what we had in mind. Whipped cream. Now I know what you are thinking, those dumb asses are gonna get high snuffing the fumes I tell ya! But really, all we wanted to do was eat the stuff…REALLY BITCH! So anyway, we went got to the store and bought the heaviest, thickest whipping cream we could.
We probably looked like a bunch of drunks. There we were, stumbling out of the parking lot, filling our mouths with the cream, and loudly yelling obscure comments about mud. But wait, the fun isn’t over yet. On the way home Ryan and I passed by an armadillo that had met its maker not to long ago. Being the nice fellas that we are, we courteously pulled over to the side of the road. We then paid our respects to the deceased critter by sacrificing some of our precious whipped cream to its cause. Hey….what can I say? Hopefully I won’t get banned like Slip or whoever wrote that gross post in the forum about how they like to skin people. Eewwwwww.
Well there you have it folks. Hoped you all enjoyed this little tale, and no it was not made up! Once Fatal gets his phone lines operating and returns to B.net (that is where he has been if you were wondering) he will bake me up on this story. Piece out!
Frozen~SCV Production
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