| "I WOULD LIKE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT http://www.backgroundcity.com IS NOT A SECRET LINK TO GOATSE. IT IS AN ACTUAL WEB SITE. ONE WITH MANY BACKGROUNDS YOU CAN ENJOY AND USE AND PUT IT IN YOUR REPORT TO MAKE RATERS SWOON AND CREAM AND HAVE YOUR LOVE KITTENS. DID I MENTION THAT IT IS http://www.backgroundcity.com? YOU KNOW, THE NAME OF THE SITE? http://www.backgroundcity.com IS IT'S NAME, YES SIR GOLLY GEE." - Divvyo
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| One Damn Funny Game =D | | | Author: | | | IP: | nis106.nXXXX | | Date: | 10/07/00 05:10 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 4, Min: 4
Lifetime Rating for Destroyer: 4.0000 |  | One Damn Funny Game
Introduction- After the large battle at the temple, all was calm once again, the protoss had departed after their victory and left nothing but the dead bodies of the zerg, the terran and their own brethren at the site. Little did the protoss army know that two more terran groups were on their way but they did not want to control the temple, but the planet.
The blue terrans sent in 4 scvs and a command center to start the invasion and of course the other yellow terrans did the same. Both fleets detected one another and radioed the scvs with a simple order “destroy that pathetic group of terran near your encampment or suffer the consequences.” The scvs, being little more than foolish peasants, did as they were ordered and started to build an army from scratch.
Ok what was really happening was that once again Ezykill was up for a 1v1 against someone who we knew nothing about named –cf-Irvine. He claimed the vice clan recruiter recruited him so ezy decided to play the guy one on one. I decided to watch the game cause ezy asked me to. As usual lost temple observer version was decided and the most hilarious 1v1 I have ever witnessed started.
The start of the war- Ezy received blue terran at 3-o clock. Irvine received yellow terran at 12-o clock. The battle started innocently enough, Ezy built a supply depot, then followed with a barracks and yet another barracks. Irvine started by building a supply depot and a barracks. This all happened at the same time so Ezy had an extra barracks but Irvine had more minerals.
This is when ezys scv went on a scouting mission. The scv found the base fine but took a bit of punishment from marines. Luckily the scv managed to survive with a tiny bit of health left and return his status report to the developing base.
Now is when the battle begins to become hilarious. Ezy built one bunker near Irvines choke point and had a few marines on the lookout for yellow marines. Fortunately, none came and the bunker was constructed with no trouble. Ezy then got a refinery, a supply depot, a factory and another supply depot. By the time Ezy got the last supply depot up Irvine had barely done anything except build three bunkers, a refinery and a supply depot. Ezy had built quite a few marines, a few vultures and 1 tank. Irvine had 12 damn marines in the bunkers. I was wondering what the hell Novi was thinking recruiting such a slow player, but there was a chance he was building up his mineral and gas supply for a reason so I didn’t say anything.
Ezy scouted again with one marine and stated “three bunkers.” Irvine acted like a loser and sneered “oh wow you can count, I’m impressed.” I started to realize not only was Irvine slow, but he was a smart-ass as well. Still I did not say anything hoping he would be better then I thought.
Well apparently I was wrong, Irvine was not only slow, he sucked! Ezy obviously was pissed off that a possible member would say something like that to the clan leader without a “just kidding” after. Ezy built two starports, an academy, a science facility with convert ops and on top of that an expansion. Not only that but he had maintained a solid force of marines and tanks during all of this while building wraiths as well. During all this time the only thing Irvine built other than scvs were an engineering bay, one missile turret, and a factory. Ezy scouted again and said “please tell me you expanded early.” Irvine was even dumb enough to reply “no, but I should have.” Jeez what an idiot.
Finally after building one damn tank, Irvine started to snipe at Ezys bunker, Ezy was so busy laughing I don’t think he even noticed. Finally he must have seen it and killed it with 5 wraiths. Ezy got a nuclear silo and upgraded his ghosts while Irvine built a starport. I almost fell out of my seat laughing to the fact that Ezy had built a nuke before Irvine had a single wraith! On top of all this Ezy built yet another expansion although it was completely unnecessary.
At this point Ezy had had enough of this crap and decided to finish this newbie off. We had both came to the conclusion that Irvine was obviously an imposter and would be banned the minute the game ended. Ezy sent in 1 lousy dropship filled with only three ghosts and two marines. Irvine cried out “Damn you!” and was so stupid he did not even empty his bunkers. Irvine had for defense one lousy tank and one wraith! Both were locked down and both killed soon after. Irvine still did not empty the bunkers. Ezy added to Irvines humiliation by dropping 2 nukes at once on the already damaged command center. Irvine finally emptied the bunkers and ran his marines at the ghosts but Ezy cloaked and the marines went down with the command center. Ezy and I started laughing at Irvine and then Ezy exited the game. Apparently he had hurt Irvines pride enough and had mercy on his 3 remaining bunkers I guess.
So the battle was won, the elite blue terran had pounded the pathetic yellow terran to pieces. “Well done men” grunted commander Ezy to his army and prepared his troops for the beginning of the real battle.
Final results- This was perhaps the funniest game I have ever had the honor of witnessing. Ezy made mincemeat out of the pathetic intruder Irvine and banned him after the game was over. I could not get a screen shot of the final score because I had taken to many pictures to hold in the starcraft folder. Lets just say that Irvines score was so terrible that it was almost as low as mine, and I didn’t have a single unit because it was observer version!
Hopefully the screenshots will work this time and you can see for yourself that a player can win after ten minutes. If not I have no idea what keeps going wrong with the pictures. Even so you will find this report to be much better written then my first one and I will keep improving over time, at least I hope so =D. |
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