THE BATTLE OF THE DIMWITS

PREGAME...

      So, he left.MWAHAHAHHA! But I had no one to face. So after about 3 mins, someone by the name of J_Chicano joins. I look at his record . 57-12-8. Not bad.We start the game and get ready to kill.

      I random to yellow protoss, and J_Chicano randoms to blue zerg. So the match begins. I send a probe to scout, and build a probe ,a forge,and a pylon. The first base is Chicanos!WOOHOO! I send in my probe to zap him into oblivion. My probe finds a gas chamber, and a pool. God, zerglings. Do all zerg players rush?Pathetic. My probe harasses his drones, and kills one!"FEAR MY PROBE! MWAHAHHAHA!" I type to him.Then my poor lil probe goes to the big nexus in the sky.*sniff*. HE SHALL BE AVENGED! By now, I have 4 cannons around my choke,and 2 at my nexus. I also built a gateway and pump out 2 zealots.
      J_chicano, obviously sad at the loss of his drone, sends 4 hydras and 6 zerglings at me. they all die to cannons. Obviously building macro forces, I make reavers. Now, as we all know, reavers OWN ground forces. By now, I have all the nescecary(?) buildings for everything I need. I'm counting the time left till my reavers are done...5...4....3...2...1...YES! 6 reavers! I line them all up at my choke , next to my cannons. Right on cue, about 40 hydras attack. My reavers unload their deadly cargo, and kill all of the hydras, with only the loss of 1 cannon. So, now Chicano is crapping his pants. This...interesting... conversation takes place

Me:"I just raped you worse than Brittney Spears"
Chicano:"asdfsljgdjg'sjdgbinsd"
me"^^"
chicano"HOW?!?!?!"
me:" Reavers,baby!"
Chicano:" Damnit! I wish toss were...not so powerful."
Me:"Heh. I'm tired of playing games. You die now, chobo."

      With those words, I take my reavers in their shuttle transports, and head to the mineral line of the chobo known as J_Chicano. My reaver cargo gets close and closer. THEN...I drop 6 reavers in his min line. The next 10 seconds are pure mayhem. Scarabs explode, drones shatter into puddles of blood, and his Hive DIES. As a last ditch effort, he uses PLAGUE on me. I HATE PLAGUE! My reavers drop to 1 health, and die to LOTS of Mutas.Poor Caterpillers...oh well. I see he's going air , so I make lots of scouts. Now, as we all know, scouts deal an assload of damage air to air. After using 3k mins and 1 1/2 k gas, I have 3 groups of scouts, with every upgrade available. So now, I send in my scouts. His min line is no more. He tries to make a hatchery again, but I kill it in a shower of blood and gore.       Now, I'm getting a bit cocky. So I send a probe to build in his base.Now, I know that's adding insult to injury , but I'm a cocky lil bastard^^.
      Anyway, I'm getting bored, because he attacks with Hydras. Psi Storm , anyone?

The Final 2 Second Orgasm

Alright, time to kill this chobo. I send in a massive carrier force, and end the game after the chobo adds some words.

The result... Aww,who really gives a rat's ass? I won, and that's all that matters.

Long live Patton!