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Rommel - legacy of defeat.
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Author:I_am_Gen.Patton
IP:PPPa61-RXXXX
Date: 12/15/00 09:12
Game Type: Starcraft
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Report Rating: 5.0, # of Ratings: 1, Max: 5, Min: 5
Lifetime Rating for I_am_Gen.Patton: 3.5000
      Loading...Loading...Loading...Loading...Loading....Loading... Yes, it's me again. After several horrible br's(This one should be better...) and winning the award for the most insults,I'm back with a vengeance.
      Well, while your Hamster slowly dies in agony from the amount of pics in this br, I might as well give you some info on the players.
      Rommel_1942: Also known as "'What's fubar?' 'It's German.'", this SC player is not very well known in the StarCraft community. Although his skill are not exactly up to par, he HAS written 2 excellent Battlereports, both of which got a 7.5...
'Keep a good spread. Five men -- you're just a target. One man -- they're wastin' their ammo.'
      War...Hammer:Hmmm....never heard of him(Although I'm sure none of you have heard of me...at least in a good way =/) His record is pretty high, with the current score of 397-666-102. umm...666? I don't know if that could be considered good, but it's better than rommel's 2-4 record ...
'Sir, as a responsible subordinate and second party of this deal I think it'd be better if we waited until the pool got up to $500.' 'Yeah, $1000 sounds good. What if we don't live that long?' '...$500 sounds good.' 'Yeah.'
      Is your hamster dead yet? No? Oh well...on to the BR!
'I don't know. What do you think, Mike?' 'Oh, you don't want to know what I think.'
      GASP! It's not Lost Temple! Thank God! I'm sick of that map...
      Anyway, this map is "Snowbound", an excellent map that comes from the BroodWar Ladder maps. For those of you who don't know, Snowbound starts players off on a cliff, with air being the only way out. There are expansions all over the place, with plenty of minerals(But no unlimited like Big Gay Hunters).
      THE GAME STARTS...
      As the game gets underway, Rommel_1942 lands his green Command Center at the 12 o'clock base, and War...Hammer warps in his orange nexus at the 3 o'clock base.
      I'm going to skip the build order thingy, because I think it's a waste of time, since most people go for the same early build.
'Jackson, that looks like a good defilade position there, see if you can take out that machine gun up there.'
      Rommel builds his factories and StarPorts, obviously going for some tanks and wraiths.'You're James Frances Ryan? Mississippi?' 'James Scott Ryan...Wisconsin.'
'Maybe...just maybe...we can help these guys out. And when the war's over, we can say that the only decent thing we ever did in this whole damned war was save Private Ryan.'
      War...Hammer warps all his buildings around 2 pylons, for what reason...I'm not sure. He's teching like there's no tomorrow, and I have no idea what he's going for. He won't answer my questions, so I'm left in the dark.
      After several uneventful moments, War expands to his closest expansion space. But what's this? Rommel loads 2 dropships with marines and tanks, and heads over to War's main.
'He sees...two Tigers...two Panzers...fifty-plus infantry.'
      The dropships deploy their cargo, and chaos ensues.
'Do you know how many men I've lost under my command? Ninety-two.'
Rommel gets some...
      Needless to say, War's main base is annihilated by Rommel's Tanks and Marines. Could it be that*gasp* Rommel might win? well...it's a longshot...but it might be possible.
      After protoss blood is spilled on their own base, the orange khala warriors have expanded several places, hoping to rebuild their lost army.
      After a quick comsat scan, Rommel finds War's expansion in the middle of the map. Rommel loads several half-drunken marines into a drop ship, along with 2 tanks in another dropship.Time for a minimap update! Yes, the one no one really cares about, but is nesccecary(?).
      War accuses Rommel of hacking, and I stick up for Rommel.
'Riben, where's your BAR?' 'Bottom of the fuckin' Atlantic, sir, son of a bitch tried to drown me.'>
      As you can plainly see, Rommel seems to be dominating the so called "Gosu" War...Hammer. But little does Rommel know, War is not out for the count.
Psi Storm ownage...
      In the middle left expansion, a psychic being appears out of a stargate, a ball of pure psyonic energy crackling above it's head. Slowly , the being floats over to the terran threat, determined to take out all enemies.
      Meanwhile, the marines, high on stim packs, are busy blasting away at a building. A sci vessel floats overhead, and casts 2 d-matrix on a pair of tanks.
      Finally, the protoss high templar reaches the enemy, supported by dragoons. The dragoons die in a spray of blue globules, spilling their wrecked bodies over the battlefield.
      The high templar focuses his energy, and releases 3 psi storms. Marines die easily, their feable brains ripped apart by the energy. The siege tanks with D-matrix on them can't fire back, since they have just fired on a dragoon.
      The thick metallic structure is at first unphased. Then, the matrix dissapears, and the tanks are left defenseless, their titanium bodies buckling under the pressure. Suddenly, the tank bursts into flames, the screams of the men inside echoing off the canyon walls.
'Don't shoot! Let 'em burn!'
      Satisfied, the High templar floats back to his base.
'Far every man I kill, the farther away I feel from home.''What about your wife and the rose bushes?' '...No. No, I keep that one to myself.'
      Unphased by the attack, Rommel loads 4 dropships from his expansion , and sets out to kill War.
      Along the way, War's Shuttles pass Rommel's dropships, and they have some friendly conversation. 'Juden. Juden. JUDEN. Ju-den. Ju-Den...' ::German POWs pass by, disheartened and demoralized.'
      Transport conversation...
      Who will attack who first? And What units will they attack with?
      The shuttles attack first, unloading a cargo of 8 zealots at Rommel's expansion.
      By now, War has made a strong comeback, with 3 expansions, and a huge force.
      Rommel, on the other hand, has run out of minerals at his main, and his expansion is running low on cash. Rommel decides to ignore the attacking zealots, for whatever reason. He continues onward toward the base of War, hoping he can cause enough damage to cripple the protoss forces. Unfortunately, his drop ships never make it to the base , and are taken out by dragoon fire.
'Sir, she reminds me of my niece, we can't just...' ::round goes through Caparzo like shit through a goose:: ::he falls, hits the piano. sputters.::
      Meanwhile, the zealots in Rommel's base are having a field day, while the SCV's wonder why they continue to mine, and demand a pay raise. When they are turned down, the SCV's attack the zealots with their mighty welding arms. An amazing 5 damage is done to the zealot force, as a zealot in the corner is heard saying" Damn, now I gotta buff that scratch out!"



'::ramp goes down, MG-42 rounds pelt the landing craft. Men go down, their rib cages vaporized in a fully automatic stream of 7.92mm rounds. One is hit in the helmet, and the high-velocity bullet penetrates it, hitting his skull perpendiularly and shattering his spinal cord into pieces.::
The tables turn...
      After this amazing turn of events, Rommel is left with no expansion. Although his Marines and tanks eventually kill the zealots in his expansion, and he has enough for a new CC, Rommel concedes, saying he cannot keep up with the gosu war..hammer.

      GG's are exchanged, and this extremely anti-climactic ending...ummm... ends.
'It's quite a view, isn't it Captain?' 'Yes. Yes, it is.'
      I have no final result pics, as they were not worth taking. Let's just say...the results were a bit one-sided. But this game certainly wasn't. For once, I reported a game that WASN'T ONE SIDED! HOORAY!

      And now, the ever popular "Lessons learned" section.
1. Rommel_1942 can actually put up a good fight.
2. Psi Storm is EVIL
3.When using Terran, the best defense , is a good offense.
4. EXPAND EXPAND EXPAND
5. Why is sharp cheese called sharp cheese? It isn't really sharp...
6. D-matrixed tanks still suck.
7. Zealots own your bones.
8. Records mean nothing. Rommel_1942 has a sorry ass record, and he almost won. War had a huge record, and barely pulled through.
9.Well, that's it for this BattleReport. Hopefully, this BR gets a better rating than 5.0
Please feel free to write in the comments section, and thank you for reading my BR. This is the General, signing off.
'Earn it. Earn it...'
This has been a presentation of "The General"

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