| I'm seriously bored. Up goes the game "1v1 NEWBIES PLZ!!!", and shit what newbies there are around B.net. This particular
chap's name was "eyeball_12345!", quickly showing off his creativity for names and pre-pubescence.
The map...BGH, what else?
Attack of the Shitty Peons
Players:
eyeball_12345! - Age: 11, Attends 6th grade at Midvale Park Middle School where he aspires to find out where babies come from.
Sh!tty-Peon - Age: Immortal, AKA: God, Jesus, Big Daddy Kool, etc.
The game excitingly opened up with me as Zerg at 6:00. I sent my Overlord left, and the second one right. I found
eybeball next to me at 5:00 as Terran. Noticing his 4 SCV's and peculiar build order of Barracks, Depot, and Command Center (???), I came to realize
that my friend eyeball_12345! fits snuggly into the "severely retarded" category in the heirarchy of starcraft mastery.
Understanding the situation I was in at this point I had to take advantage of this. I quickly sent down a drone to the top corner of his base. Alas,
I was found and my gay-newbie tactics would have to wait for another day...or would they?
I quickly put down about 8 hatcheries and went to work, pumping everybody's favorite peons! This took longer than it seems though,
perhaps a good 10 minutesto get to 200/200, I also pumped overlords which I completely upgraded for the situation. The few attacks our friend eyeball
made (3 marines? 4 vultures?) were quickly thrwarted by my trusty peons.
Gather around kiddies, and listen to what your uncle Shitty has to say to ya. I got a new strat that's promised to beat any
opponent who has more fingers than his IQ rating.
Shitty-Peon's Gosu Ultra Peon Rush of Gosu Peons and Ultra Shittiness!
If you ever wondered what 200 mining drones looked like, there you go. I hastily loaded up my army into 25 overlords and threw in...oh...about 100 more overlords to distract the poor chump and his marines, and sent them on their way...
What happened next I cannot put into words.
ph34r kids...ph34r it... PEON POWER!
gg (mad shout outs to mah boy quiong for da gosu luvin he gives me!)
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