Welcome everybody to my newest Battlereport. Its a fiction. If you dont like fictional Battlereports, click back.

This is for ZerG~LinG, who had to sacrifice his comment section for the discussion about the first comment. Now with this BR I hope to give Dino Din and Monty Pylon the platform they need to mud-wrestle :)

-The War-

The world of battlereports.com is a tough world. People are sitting in front of their computers everyday, looking at the site, hitting F5 every second to see if a new Battlereport is up, so they could get the first comment.

The Commentors:

Dino Din: He's an old school reporter. He's been here long time ago, when none of was born "so GG, stfu, thx no re" :) . He wants the first comment to be free and chances for all to be equal. He's a literature legend. He chooses "Power Poems" as his special move and "Ana" as his strongest Pokémon.

Monty Pylon: Also known as Mr.Fanfic. Known for the Mark4 and Hawk series. He, simply, doesnt care for first comments and wants to destroy the first comment community. His special Moves are "Rethorical Questions" and his strongest Pokémon is "Eriador"

Into the fight:

We're in the comment section now, if you read this you know how it looks like. Dino lines up to jump in for the first comment, but the evil author took it himself. Faster as he can say "asdfgh" he types the first flame. He will have none of that. Takin their own first comment, pah. He will show them.

Dino Din: "Roses are red, violets are blue, authors are retards and so are you"

This "power poem" is seen by the enemy of the first comment himself, Monty Pylon, so he takes the challenge and continues the flame. These First-Commentors think they rule the world, eh? No way bitch, I take my first WHERE AND WHENEVER I want to.

Monty Pylon: "Does it matter? Is T_Mac straight? Do Battlereports own FanFics? NO!"

This mass of "rethorical questions" puts Dino in a situation where he HAS to counterreact. He collects his power and shouts: " ANA, I choose you!" The Pokémon hatches from his ball saying "A-na, A-na". Monty sees this and knows its time for his own lil' Pocket-Monster (is this actually what Pokémon stands for?). "Go ERIADOR!" he screams at the top of his lung. "Eri-a-dor" the little thing says, moving up for fighting position. The two Pokémon are facing each other. Monty takes the initiative and shouts "Eriador, Mass Insult GO!" "ERI-A-DOOR", the little thing speaks and his words blast in a huge cloud of power

>>jesus christ dino, you are fucking retarded first comment means anything?!?!? ghfsdbfabjh wtf wtf wtf you are like a mix between mctfb and H-H you have the coherency of mctfb and the brain of h-h :[<< comes from the depth of his lung.

The Insult on his master makes Ana gasp. "A-NA" the little monster screams. Dino reacts quickly. "Ana SMART INSULT, GO!" That is a shock for Monty. Smart Insult, the mightiest power of all Brain-Pokémon. Rings of power circle above Ana's head. The force unloads in a mass of lightining, rain and clouds of smoke.

>>btw idiot[monty]. i don't flame only those lacking prestige. review the comments section in breeze's reports to find that you are, again, stupid and wrong.<< thunder over the area.

Eriador is clearly beaten and he vanishes into his ball. Monty lines up to fight for himself and starts attacking with yet another "rethorical question"

Monty Pylon: "Are you really such a retard? Is Mark4 = AQD3? Does Strega jerk off to lesbians? YES!"

With the feeling of absolute superiority, cause Ana beat Eriador easily, Dino steps up to the plate to once again defend his honor.

Dino Din: "Words like blades, as darkness fades, I have won and you are DONE"

This "power poem" is sure a powerful one. The words leave Dinos mouth like blades, fly towards Monty and cut his throat. Monty tries to speak, but finds it rather hard to speak with a cut throat. Finnaly he finds a stick and writes in the dust:

Monty Pylon(writing): Have you won the battle? Yes! But have you won the war? No! Will I return? HELL YEAH!"

The winner of the first first comment battle: Dino Din feat. Ana

Please feel free to use the comment section of this BR as a place to flame about first commentors. But do the newer authors a favor and dont use their battlereports as a platform to flame. Thanks.

This has been a

RubiksCube Production