And so, NobodyBeatsMe is proud to bring to you,

LADDER PART I

These are the exploits of NobodyBeatsMe, as he continues his reign of terror on the Battlenet Ladder system.

Game 1

Pre-game factoids:

During my early-evening “stroll” through cyberspace (looking for nohunters as usual), I was becoming quite bored with not being able to find any “good” games, so I says to my self “Self, how about we rip a piece of the old ladder.” It had been a long time since I have played a ladder game, mostly due to the repeated thrashings that I usually receive. I think one of my pseudonyms had a ladder record of 3 and 15. I do recall one particularly good ladder game I had played (4 man ffa on LT), where I came out on top, but the majority of the games I was simply outclassed. Mind you, this was before I happened across BattleReports.com, and I have since gleamed dozens upon dozens of usefull tidbits that I now have at my disposal. And so, I requested my computer to list all of the available ladder game, and I quickly joined up with the first 1 vs 1 that I could find. My opponent, (can’t remember what his name is, so lets call him Squirrel_Nuts) said “gl”, and like that, we were off like a jewish foreskin. I left my race at random, Squirrel_Nuts had chosen zerg.

Early game:

I spawned at 12:00, sent my drones a minin’, and sent Ovie #1 to the 3:00. Drone production continued up until 9 drones, then I waited until I had 300 and made another hatchery a little below my first one (wtf, you ask, he didn’t build an overlord after 9, or a spawning pool). After the hatchery was started, I made a new 9th drone, then an overlord. That 9th drone then became my spawning pool (just above my extractor), with yet another 9th drone to follow. My overlord found nothing at 3:00, so it proceeded to 6:00. I had not seen any sign of Squirrel_Nuts as of yet.

Very Early Mid-Game:

My second overlord hatches, so I send it towards the 9:00 natural. More drones are made, and my second hatchery is finished. My overlord at 6:00 sees nothing, but I left it there for possible expansion reconnaissance. One of the newest drones are sent to mining, I make two sunkens to the right of my hatchery, spaced a little apart, and start an extractor. Six zerglings are also started. About this time, my overlord at the 9:00 natural sees 8 zerglings starting out from the main base. I waited with my new zerglings near my sunkens, and started more. When Squirrel_Nuts’ zerglings entered my base (did not see any overlords anywhere on the map, map hack?), they were quickly dispatched, and with my reinforcement zerglings, I sent them on attack move to the 9:00 base. I started collecting gas at this time, using previously made drones for now. When I reached about the half-way point to the 9:00 base, six more zerglings came charging out of the base. I turned my zerglings around (just for shits and giggles I guess, seeing as I outnumbered him), hoping to bait him into my sunken “trap” yet again. Same result as the first time, with me losing very few lings, him losing all of them. These were sent again to attack 9:00, with a newly made drone sent to 3:00 to start another hatchery. My lings encountered another “swarm” of six lings just outside of the 9:00 natural expansion, and all of mine died with Squirrel_Nuts having two left, which just sat there (remember, I have an overlord sitting there the entire time.

Mid-Game:

I have a few token lings at my main base, don’t see anything coming out of his base, so I decide to change tactics. Main base hatchery is upgraded to a lair, zergling speed is researched. My expansion at 3:00 comes alive, so a few drones are made to gather minerals (only made 4 drones over there, you will understand why soon enough). When my lair is complete, I set down a spire, with more lings made at my main. My overlord at 6:00 is sent in to the 9:00 base for some scouting. I see two sunkens, four lings, and maybe 6 drones mining. An extractor is just finishing off. Looks like Squirrel_Nuts tried 4 or 6 pooling me near the beginning of the game, but waited until he had more than 4 or six lings to attack (see Very Early Mid-Game). I chuckle to myself, knowing that I could have won this game minutes ago (we have only been playing for about 5 minutes now I figure).

Late Game:

My spire is done, and therefore will be all over Squirrel_Nuts like stink on a monkey. I make 6 mutas, and send my previously made lings to attack. The mutas finish, and are sent on attack right after. The end wasn’t really pretty, as my mutas made it there first, killing the sunkens rather quickly, followed by the lings taking care of the drones and defending lings. I offer a “gg” to Squirrel_Nuts, who promptly leaves (no disconnect, finally someone who has the balls to take a loss).

After game thoughts:

I never did check out the stats of Squirrel_Nuts, but based on his play in this game, he was probably some newbie, or perhaps he fell asleep at the start of the game, never being able to get back on track. Needless to say, it was refreshing to not have any whining about hacking or the like during the game. Feeling rather confident after the thrashing that I had just dished out, I figured why not go for seconds. And so, without further adieu, here is game 2.

Wait, I changed my mind. I will not be showing game 2 here, as I am still working out some issues with how to properly represent a game using HTML. I have ”mastered” the art of using colours, have shown a larger font, and have shown a centered item (see below). Anyone out there know how to show a larger font on a centered item? Little help here people. I haven’t tried pics yet, but will on the next one. Then, all that is left is a good ladder game (the previously mentioned game 2 was pretty good) to report next time, and we are off to the races.

And by the way, judging by my ladder record under this name so far, it aint just a catchy name…lol