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I was walking down the hallway, I felt a lot better than when I was in the hospital. I still had a scar from when that giant bullet hit my leg, but I felt like it was almost at full strength now. I was heading towards the computer lab to see what info I got off Battlereports.com

It had been awhile since I had been at HQ so I was looking around, getting familiar with the place again. In the hallway I passed some fellow agents, Mr. T, and Richard Roundtree. I’m pretty sure Mr. T is on a mission dealing with phones, I can’t remember the specifics, but I know phones are involved. Roundtree is retired and now he just teaches a class on how to be a bad ass.

I finally reached the computer lab and went in to see the results.

“Hi CN” I said in a happy voice.

“Oh, Hi Amoeba” he responded, sounding surprised. “I just got done going through the disk you gave me. It was heavily decoded but I managed to find out what it said by….”

About then I started to phase out. And since I have nothing better to write about here, I’ll describe the talker to you. He was known as CaughtNaked, I don’t know why though. I heard it had something to do in the gym locker room when he was in high school, but those were only rumors. You can call him any number of things, CN, naked, even nakey. But whatever you call him he knows a lot about computers and he helps out a little bit against BR.com. Mostly he posts links top other sites on the forum, trying to draw attention away from BR.com. Minor stuff, but it’s better than nothing.

Anyway, he was finished his little speech thing now and told me what I really wanted to know.

“So, anyway, the disk tells us where .Praetor is.” He said at last.

.Praetor, the famous fanfic writer of Battlereports.com, best known for the Phoenix Legion Chronicles. My next assignment would be to find and probably kill him.

“He’s in Greenland” CN said.

“Greenland” I repeated “You mean, cold, frozen, Arctic Circle, Greenland?”

“No, I mean warm, lush, green, Greenland. Of course I mean the cold one! Can you think of any other Greenlands?”

I started thinking if I could think of any more Greenlands. CN must have sensed this and told me that there weren’t any.

I left and started walking over to the shooting range when the halls suddenly turned a bright red and a siren screamed down the hall. I looked around, searching for someone to ask what was going on. I ran down the hallway towards the Generals office, he’s in charge of AWTO.

A long line coming from the equipment room, next to the firing range stopped my run short. I stepped in line and didn’t have to wait long before I was near the front. I was about to ask the agent there what the alarm was about when he shoved a gun into my arms.

He turned around and reached into the equipment room, when he turned back he seemed a little annoyed that I was still standing there.

“Why are you still here” he said rudely

“What’s this alarm for” I replied. He sighed, you know, that sigh you sigh when your dealing with stupid people, he sighed that sigh.

“Haven’t you heard, our sensors have picked up a large army coming this way, and fast too. Now go get to the main entrance, we need every man we can get up there.”

I quickly ran to the main entrance, while I was going I studied my gun. I couldn’t recognize it. But I soon realized it was a shotgun, the pump on the barrel gave it away. I was almost to the main entrance when I encountered another guy running out of the firing range.

“Hey” I yelled at him over the blaring alarm, “Do you know what kind of gun this is”

He looked at it and didn’t take him long to reply. “That’s a XM1014, it’s also called M4 Super 90”.

I just stared at him blankly, not understanding anything he said.

“Thanks” I managed to blurt out, “But what the hell does that mean”

He sighed another one of those dealing-with-stupid-people sigh (Damn it, I’m not stupid) and rolled his eyes. “It’s an auto shotgun” he said, finally, something I could understand.

I was gonna say thanks but we had reached the main entrance and I was to busy getting into position for the attack.

I quickly ran up a staircase and crouched down behind a thick wall with several holes in it so that you can shoot out at things trying to get in. A few people crouched on either side of me, one right next to me. I recognized him as the guy that had told me what my gun was. He was carrying to duffel bags and wearing a large trench coat.

He knelt down and reached into his trench coat. He pulled out a gun and set it on the ground, then he pulled out another gun, and another, until he had about six guns of random types in front of him. I could only guess how many guns he had in those bags. He glanced over at me, then down to my gun.

“Oh, It’s you, the guy that didn’t know about his gun” he said, “That gun sucks at shooting long range, which is probably what we’ll be doing here.” He reached into one of his bags and pulled out a long rifle. “Take this, it’s the best long range rifle I have with me right now. A Steyr AUG A1, good stuff.”

He handed me the gun, I said thanks and fit the barrel into the hole. It came with a scope so I tested out the zoom. The guy was right, it was pretty nice, I looked back at him and saw that he was unloading the duffel bags, dropping handfuls of guns around him.

I went back to getting a feel for the gun, I fired off a few shots. The longer I held down the trigger the more inaccurate it got, but that would be fine, I wasn’t gonna hold it down for very long. I looked through the scope again and started looking around at the landscape. Mostly a wasteland, snowy, no tall trees, a few shrubs and bushes, it could only be described as the middle of nowhere.

I tried to find a tree to shoot, but instead saw something else. It was metal and round, I also seemed very familiar to me, but I would need to see more before I recognized it.

I didn’t have to wait long, it was advancing quickly, and I soon realized what it was. A giant robot, four legs, two arms, and one battle brought back in vivid detail (to see that battle, go read the last chapter thing. Also that sentence is easily the most cheesy thing I’ve ever written.)

Somehow Battlereports.com had found AWTO and soon we would be in an all out war. We held the advantage, reinforcements, knowledge of the base, and several other things would help us a lot in this battle. But BR.com had machines built just for war.

I saw smaller two-legged robots with what looked like jet packs on their backs, treaded vehicles with large metal plates in front of them, offering cover for the waves of infantry that weren’t far behind.

I wasted no time, and had soon taken down two solders thanks to my rifle. I had a feeling that I had caused this battle, and I was gonna do all I could to end it.

Other agents with long range rifles started shooting at the approaching army, and a few shots were fired by the enemy snipers, but they all missed their marks.

Gunfire began to explode from all around me, obviously the army was in range of our guns.

The infantry started going down fast, many were hiding behind the protective plates of the treaded vehicles. Only a few of our men had been shot, but then the robots started fighting.

First the smaller ones leaped into the air and activated their jetpacks. They soared and in almost no time were high above our base. A hatch opened up in the “stomachs” of the robots and bombs began to fall out.

They were medium sized as far as bombs go, but they broke open and revealed hundreds of much smaller bombs. We were being cluster bombed. They landed on the roof and exploded on impact. Thankfully the metal up there was thick and we didn’t take w hole lot of damage from them. But some of the shrapnel had killed a few of our guys.

We wouldn’t last long if those robots kept on bombing us, and in combination with the infantry, who by now had all taken cover behind the treaded vehicles, things were looking bad.

And they quickly got worse when the large robot got into the battle. I knew when that thing fired on us with that huge gun, it would kill several agents. But it had some new features from when I fought |]agomar in one. One of the changes were the harpoons installed behind hatches in the claws fingers.

It fired the harpoons into the wall we were all shooting from behind. Then it retracted the harpoons back into the fingers and ripped giant holes in the wall. One was right next to me.

That’s when I decided to abandon my post and prepare for when the solders would enter our base. It was a good thing too, because a few grenades from the solders made the holes bigger. Then the giant robot showed me another new feature, missiles held behind its knuckles.

The entire front entrance was nearly destroyed by them, but most of the agents had managed to make it down in time. One of them was the guy that carried all the guns.

I asked him his name and he told me it was CrackHedJeb.

“CrackHedJeb” I replied, “Hey!! Don’t you post on Battlereports.com”

“Yeah, I do. But my pics don’t hypnotize people. They do the opposite, the subliminal messages in my pics get people to leave BR.com. It’s worked on a lot of people, including Serious” he answered.

I would have said something else but at that moment a loud explosion echoed through the hall. We both ran to see what it was. And to our surprise, it wasn’t a blast coming from solders blowing up the door, but from our auto-defenses.

Missiles were being fired from hidden panels up near the roof. They swirled around, almost as if they were drunk, and then came down on the treaded vehicles. Throwing shrapnel and solders everywhere.

Some flew up to destroy the flying robots. But they didn’t have much effect due to thick armor. Then, suddenly, one of the robots exploded in a heap of fire. It fell to the ground, probably crushing a few solders.

Then another one exploded, and that’s when they finally figured out what was happening. We had launched helicopters, there weren’t very many armed ones in our fleet, most were used for dropping and picking up agents, but there weren’t very many robots either.

CHJ and I decided it was too dangerous to stay close to the door for very long and so we backed away from it, deeper into the halls of AWTO. All available personnel had been prepared to fight. We needed everyone we could get, so even our scientists and agents in training were given guns.

We stopped behind a corner and checked to make sure all our equipment still worked/was there. I saw CHJ reach into his trench coat and pull out a small, weak looking gun.

“It’s called a P90 Personal Defense Weapon. And it’s not as weak as it looks.” He said when he noticed that I was looking at it.

This was quickly demonstrated when a BR.com solder suddenly came running from around a corner. CHJ fired one, maybe two rounds, I don’t know which, he fired too fast. The solder fell to the ground, dead.

“And its got a big clip too” he continued. I’m sure he would have gone on talking about what he later said was his favorite gun, but he was interrupted by the sound of boots marching down the hallway next to us.

I guessed there must be around twenty guys coming for us, and I told CHJ.

“Great” he said, “This gun is good, but not that good”

The sound was getting louder and louder, soon they would be here. I clenched my gun, the shotgun, it would be much better than the sniper rifle in this kind of situation.

I saw the first man come around the corner. He barely saw us when CHJ unloaded a few bullets in his chest. The second guy was equally unlucky, killed by a blast from my shotgun.

The third guy to step around the corner had time to catch on and only stuck his head out, and only for a second or two.

“Crap” I said, “Now they know there’s only two of us. They’ll just come around the corner all at once and overpower us.”

Which is exactly what they did. The first few guys to come out were mowed down by Chi’s fast firing gun, I took out a few as well. But there were to many and we just couldn’t kill them all before we would get slaughtered

They started firing a few shots, but since we were lying on the floor it was hard for them to hit us.

Bullets continued to fly between the two sides until there were ten guys left. Just when it seemed when we might have a chance, CHJ was shot in the thigh. He clutched his wound and stopped shooting, it looked like they would kill us.

But suddenly, bullets came flying from behind us, way too much to be from one gun, and way to fast too. After the last solder dropped to the floor, dead, I looked behind me to see what did that.

I was surprised to see only one guy, and even more surprised to see that it was CaughtNaked! He was carrying a giant chaingun, it was probably about two feet long, the barrel ending in six smaller barrels so none of them overheated. It had a handle coming off the top so you could hold it, and connected to a large barrel on CN’s back for ammo.

“Holy crap CN, where did you get that” I said, amazed that he could hold the giant weapon.

“I found it in the equipment room” he replied.

I decided not to ask any more questions, I needed to get CHJ to the hospital. I picked him up and carried him there, CN escorted me because I couldn’t really fight while carrying CHJ.

When we got there I laid him down on one of the beds and waited for someone to treat him. I looked at all the other patients in the hospital, people with burn marks, bullet wounds, and shrapnel wounds too.

I left CHJ there and went out to continue fighting. I got to a long hallway, there was glass to my right, and behind it I could see a gunfight between our agents, and BR.com’s solders.

I went to go help out, but I saw someone step from around the corner at the end of the hallway. He wasn’t one of our agents, and wasn’t wearing the same uniform as the solders.

I didn’t have time to fight him, I needed to help out the agents. I quickly took out my shotgun, aimed, and fired a shell right into his chest.

He was slammed against the wall by the force of the shot, and slid down to the floor, leaving a blood smear on the wall.

I was about to go help the agents, when he easily stood up, despite the giant wound in his chest. I was amazed, nobody could take a shotgun blast to the chest, and then stand up as quickly and easily as he did.

I was even more amazed when a strange multicolored fluid began to cover up his wound, it looked like it had little replicas of its shape inside of it, like a fractal. After the stuff had completely covered the wound, it became flesh, and healed the wound.

I stared at him. “What are you” I said.

“I am Fractal_Wave” he said, “General of Johnny_Vegas’s mobile forces”

I guess he didn’t seem like talking because he came charging right at me after he finished talking. When he was close to me I fired a shell that hit him in the left shoulder, nearly taking his arm off. He swung at me with his right hand when he was right next to me, I easily ducked and moved behind him, pumping the shotgun. He recovered from his reckless attack and looked back at me, just in time to see a shell come flying at his head from six inches away

His head exploded, blood, chunks of skin and pieces of brain went all over the wall. His body went limp, and collapsed on the floor.

Remembering what happened last time, I walked over to his bloody corpse and poked it a few times with my shotgun barrel. Feeling satisfied that he was dead, I went back to go help the fighting agents.

Just as I started to walk towards the door leading to their room, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It was on Fractal’s body and around the wound on his arm.

“Shit” I said and ran back to see what it was. Just as I had feared, the technicolor liquid was covering the wound, just like it did before.

I quickly fired another blast into Fractal’s back, his body jumped into the air from the blast, and fell back to the ground. It didn’t stop the liquid though, and I fired another blast into his back, covering the room with even more blood then there already was.

I pumped the shotgun again and tried to shoot him some more, but all I heard was a click.

“Shit!!” I said, louder this time. I was out of shells and the liquid was still covering the wound.

His arm had already returned to what it originally was and the large hole in Fractal’s back started filling up with the strange fluid. Twenty seconds later, it looked as if he never had a wound there, except for his torn clothes. He was perfectly healthy now, aside from the fact that his brain was splattered across a window in a thousand pieces.

I watched with amazement as the chunks turned into little blobs of the fractal liquid. The moved across the glass and onto the floor. Becoming one large mass at Fractal_Wave’s neck. The mass quickly became a head-like shape and then turned into Fractal’s head. Then he stood up.

“Hey” he said, “could you never do that again, do you have any idea how much it hurts having your head blown off.” I was wondering how I could kill a guy who can heal himself, guess I’d just have to try all sorts of things and see what works. I drew my sword from the sheath on my back.

I started swinging at him, but he would easily dodge, turning into the fractal liquid and bending into weird shapes. He had become a ball with lots of smaller balls inside of it. I raised my sword high above my head, preparing to come down with all my strength, but Fractal took advantage of this.

He shot up into my chest, taking me completely by surprise. He stretched out to form a pillar and slammed me into the ceiling. After holding me there for a few seconds he brought me down, then swung me right into the glass. The few agents and solders that were left stopped shooting at each other and stared at me.

Fractal slowly let go of me, but then he grabbed onto my ankle. He swung back towards the wall, but stopped, holding me up side down in front of the wall. But almost immediately he swung me forward as hard as he could, my body smashed into the glass and broke it into a thousand pieces. Shards of glass cut through my clothes and skin.

There was no way I could fight him any more, I was way too weak. Still holding my ankle, Fractal tossed me back into the hallway. I slid for a few feet, leaving a trail of blood on the floor, finally stopping in a corner. The gunfight in the other room had ended, a wounded Br.com solder was the only person alive. Fractal_Wave walked up to me, turned his arm into liquid, reached into the room, and took the solder’s pistol. After making sure it was loaded he pointed it straight at me.

I could see his finger beginning to pull back on the trigger, within a few seconds, the pain from my cuts would be gone. I was to weak to try and stop him, and with someone like him against us, AWTO wouldn’t last long.

Just before he fired, a gold chain came flying out of nowhere and wrapped around the gun. I could see the surprise in Fractal’s eyes. The chain jerked to the side, towards another hall. Fractal tried to hold onto the gun as long as he could, but he wasn’t prepared to, and it quickly flung out of his hands and into the waiting hands of Mr. T.

“Mr. T.” Fractal said in surprise.

“Who’d you expect, the Easter Bunny” he replied

“No, I just didn’t know you worked for AWTO”

“Well now you do foo!” Mr. T said.

“What! I’m no foo.” Replied Fractal.

“Ya you are. Anybody that messes with AWTO is a foo.”

“Well you’re a foo for messing with me” Fractal answered.

“I don’t think so” said Mr. T as he was raising the pistol. Fractal didn’t look worried at all, and I knew why. Mr. T fired the gun, Fractal was hit in the chest about 5 times, and with the last bullet, Mr. T hit Fractal right between the eyes.

Mr. T threw the gun on the ground and started walking towards me. But stopped when he was about halfway there. He must have seen that Fractal was still standing, and looking really pissed.

“I already told him.” He said pointing to me, “But I guess you didn’t hear it, don’t shoot me in the head, it really hurts”

Before Mr. T could react, Fractal turned his arm into the fractal liquid and stretched it out towards Mr. T. He tried to dive to the side, but the front had grown so Fractal’s arm looked like a cone. Mr. T was hit and slammed up against the wall.

Letting out a grunt, Mr. T tried to move but Fractal kept him firmly pinned against the wall. He then turned his entire body into liquid form and followed his arm up to Mr. T. He slammed into him and started spreading out over Mr. T’s body. He covered up his hands, arms, feet, and legs with himself, forming a sort of fractal armor around Mr. T. He left only his head exposed.

Mr. T’s body calmly jumped down from the wall, but I could see his eyes were wide with panic. I soon found out why as Mr. T started punching himself in the face and running head first into walls.

“Fractal’s controlling Mr. T’s body” I thought out loud.

If this continued, it wouldn’t take long for Mr. T to be out of the fight. He knew it too, because he started doing all he could to get loose of Fractal’s grip. I saw Mr. T trying to get his arms up over his head, he was trying with all his might. Fractal’s arms started growing larger, as Mr. T was separating his arms from Fractal. With a loud cry, Mr. T’s arms burst from the fractal body and quickly went to the back of Mr. T’s neck.

His fingers reached into the liquid, and a few seconds later, I saw something strange at his neck. The fractals around Mr. T’s neck were starting to sag and droop towards the ground. In a large splash, Fractal fell off Mr. T and landed on the ground. Mr. T reached into the blob of fractals and pulled out all his gold chains, he then quickly fastened them around his neck. Fractal quickly stood up, in his human form now, he looked a little angry

“AAAARRRRRRGGHHHHHH!” he yelled out in frustration, “Why do you fools continue to fight, there’s no way you can win against me, your power is nothing compared to mine.”

“What do you mean nuttin foo” Mr. T replied, “The only reason you’ve been beaten me so far is cuz you’ve been catchin me by surprise, but now I know what you can do. This fight is mine.” He seemed pretty sure of himself.

“I’ve only been testing you, holding back most of my power” Fractal said with confidence, “But if you’re so eager to die then ok, it doesn’t matter to me.” With that he transformed into his liquid form. But he didn’t stop there like he normally does, he continued to transform. He grew to twice his size; his neck disappeared, leaving no noticeable difference between his head and body; three horns grew off the top of his head/body; in the middle of his “head”, a large toothed grin and slanted, evil eyes formed; his feet merged together, allowing him to slide across the ground like a floor buffer, and both of his arms became large hammers.

Mr. T stared at the new form of his opponent, while I wondered how it was possible to kill him. Then the fight began. Fractal quickly started dominating Mr. T, he was unusually quick, and extremely strong. He was smashing Mr. T against the floor, walls, even the ceiling. Not only that, but none of Mr. T’s were effective against Fractal, he couldn’t get close enough to punch him, and his chains would just go right through him.

After Mr. T had been beaten up for a while, he got his bearings straight and started to dodge Fractal’s attacks. He hopped a few feet back to avoid one of Fractal’s vertical swings. But Fractals quickly extended his arm a little bit further, hitting Mr. T in the stomach, then carrying him up to the ceiling where he smashed him into one of the lights, breaking it and showering the floor with sparks.

Mr. T stood up with cuts on his face, but I don’t think they slowed him down at all has he quickly took off three of his gold chains and fastened them to each other, creating one long gold chain and then he started swinging it over his head.

Whatever he was doing, Fractal wasn’t gonna let him finish it. He threw his left arm out, right at Mr. T, but he quickly dove to the floor and dodged it. Fractal then tried to smash Mr. T with a vertical swing from his right arm, but Mr. T was able to quickly scramble to his feet and dodge that attack too.

Before Fractal could launch another attack, Mr. T swung the long chain over his head and threw it at the fractal monster. The chain wrapped around Fractal like it was tying him up.

“Ha ha ha ha” Fractal laughed, “You know this has no effect against me, I can simply slide through the holes in the links.”

“I know dat foo” replied Mr. T, “That’s why I’m doin this too.” And with that he threw the other end of the chain up to the broken light.

“Noooooooooooooo!” screamed Fractal as he tried to slide out of the chain, but it was to late. The other end hit the light and wrapped around some broken wires, sending the volts right to Fractal. He started convulsing as the lights flickered on and off. I saw Fractal’s back start to grow bigger, as if something behind it were trying to get out of Fractal. Then I saw the human Fractal fall out of the monsters back, with the chain wrapped around his waist. The monster instantly turned into water and after a few more seconds, Fractal stopped twitching.

Mr. T drew a pistol from a holster on his side and shot the gold chain, breaking it. He walked over to me and made sure I was ok, then he walked over to smoking body of Fractal. He put his fingers on Fractal’s wrist, and soon said “He’s dead.”

“Now that this is over, I’m getting you to the hospital” Mr. T said, walking over to me.

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Well, that’s the end to the latest chapter of my fanfic. That took awhile to write, because I didn’t have a lot of motivation, but you know what would give me some motivation? A seven on this chapter. I want to know something, in your comment, tell me whether or not you think CHJ and CN should be in some other chapters. Anyway, wait for my next chapter, it’s got something to do with .Praetor, I just haven’t come up with a good title yet. Oh, and yes, I did blatantly steal all the gun names from Counter-Strike, I was too lazy to come up with original names.

This chapter was written, proofread, created, and funded by Amoeba_Boy. And is the latest in a long line of crap.