This report is a bit pic heavy, so to entertain yourself, try to figure out this optical illusion (stolen from the NH forum somewhere). Also, do me a favor and click here.

Hi all, it's me again. You probably remember that after My Last Report, I told a lot of people I would stop reporting because I was so disappointed with the ratings. Well, I lied. Who, tempted by the graphics potential of Warcraft III teamed with MS Paint, could resist?

Of course, there have been quite a few WC3 reports released already. And, of course, most of you read them more to learn the 1337 skills of the veterans rather than for pure enjoyment. This game... well... I don't know what you'll find, but if you're looking to be entertained, you're sure to be pleased.

The Early Game

Alacrity (12 o'clock Orc) does a standard orc tech build, going with an early War Mill, and forgoing a Barracks for faster tech He gets a pair of Towers and a quick Stronghold. his hero of choice is the Blademaster, and the first place he creeps with it and its mirror image is the top of the middle, holding a set of three gnolls. Shortly after, he gets two Spirit Lodges and begins producing the pre-hosed version of the great Orc imbalance - the Shaman. He also starts upgrading to a Fortress and creeps around a bit more in the center with his brand spanking new Far Seer.

His partner, Legolas (3 o'clock Elf), does a standard elf build, going with a few Archers into Huntresses out of two Ancients of War. His initial hero, a Demon Hunter, gets immolation and begins creeping in the same manner as Alacrity's Blademaster; in the edges of the center. Legolas sends a Wisp to scout out Halpmeh, and doesn't seem to notice anything TOO strange.

Snakeyez's (9 o'clock Orc) build resembles' Alacrity's to an extent, but he chooses to creep his natural first with his blademaster and its twin. He starts a Stronghold at the same time Alacrity does, but is slower in getting his Watch Towers up. The reason for this, it seems, is that he has decided to expand to his natural dropping down a Great Hall and a Watch Tower there. Shortly after his Stronghold finishes, he makes the curious decision to put down a Barracks rather than a Spirit Lodge...

Halpmeh's (6 o'clock Elf) build is the strangest of all. He makes the altar in his main, but he makes his Ancient of War and a Moon Well near the ramp leading to his natural, and makes a few more wells in his main, while making many many wisps. His initial hero, the Demon Hunter, heads out to Legolas's base, and after a near-death experience, returns home to heal without really having done much. He gets a Huntress Hall and begins upgrading to a Tree of Ages, but is not producing any Huntresses...

Can YOU smell what the Angel (not an allusion to TheAngel aka WaxAngel is cooking?

[The Following Activities are Highly Dangerous, and It Is Recommended that You do not Try these things at Home.]

Halpmeh now uproots his Ancient of War and brings it to assist his Demon Hunter in creeping his natural, revealing to us observers his seemingly laughable plan. He also summons a new Keeper of the Grove.

Creeping continues, and there is a brief skirmish in the center, and Alacrity is forced to use one of his TP Scrolls to save his heroes. Amazingly, with three heroes for each side and with Team 4 having the added benefit of four Huntresses, Team 1's heroes are able to kill Legolas's Demon Hunter and three of his Huntresses while losing nothing. Shortly after the battle, Snakeyez constructs one Watch Tower in Halpmeh's Natural, where he is expanding, and in Halpmeh's main.

Alacrity proceeds to clear his natural with his growing force of Shamans and gets a Tauren Chieftain as well, and Halpmeh uses an Ancient of War to help defeat the creeps at the bottom left Goblin Merchant Shop and begins his Tree of Eternity upgrade. Legolas also creeps his natural with his group of Huntresses, and Snakeyez is content to run around with his Blademaster and try to harass the creeping groups, while getting a second barracks and beginning production of Catapults...

Both Goblin Laboratories are now cleared, with Alacrity using his Shamans and heroes and Team 4 making good use of Halpmeh's pair of new Ancients of War. Snakeyez buys a Goblin Zeppelin, clearly signalling a Catapult drop.

As Team 4 heads out to Snakeyez's natural expansion with Huntresses and Shamans, Halpmeh's Ancient force continues to grow...

The Middle Game

Halpmeh has a level 3 Demon Hunter, a level 2 Keeper of the Grove, and a level 1 Priestess of the Moon. His Ancients, from what I can judge from their movements, have the Nature's Blessing upgrade. His natural expansion is in full swing.

Snakeyez has a level 3 BladeMaster and his Catapults have 2/1 upgrades. His Natural is defended by a pair of Watch Towers and an Orc Burrow.

Alacrity has a level 3 BladeMaster, a level 2 FarSeer, and a level 1 Tauren Chieftain. His Shamans are of the Master, pre-1.03 version... basically, they are totally abusive. He begins to expand to his natural as the attack begins.

Legolas has a level 3 Demon Hunter, and his Huntresses have 1/1 upgrades. He has just taken his natural.

As was foreshadowed in the last section, a battle was at Snakeyez's natural. Well, if you believed that, then you have been deceived. Snakeyez allows his natural to fall, receiving in turn an opportunity to knock out Legolas's fresh natural expansion with a 4-Catapult drop.

In the Mini-map, you probably saw what happened next... a direct invasion of Snakeyez's main base. Initially, the base seems doomed, but just when things seem at their worst, Snakeyez's Catapults arrive from their mission at Legolas's ex-expansion, and with some clever micro, namely Catapult popping, along with smart peon/burrow use, Snakeyez manages to stave off the assault.

During this time, however, Halpmeh has not been idle. Deciding that his opponents are weak, he chooses the moment of the battle to begin moving his hulking horde of Ancients in the direction of Legolas's main base.

Snakeyez also seizes the moment after the battle to do some Catapult harassing at Alacrity's base and kills a Watch Tower and a Burrow before being driven off. This is important though, since Alacrity is unable to send help to his partner for fear of another Catapult drop.

Halpmeh strikes Legolas's base hard with six Ancient Protectors, two Ancients of War, and his three heroes. Legolas, having just lost his Demon Hunter in the battle at Snakeyez's base, has only eight Huntresses to defend with. This battle is not even close, as the Huntresses are dispatched without a single loss, thanks to the rooted Protectors and their splash damage.

Legolas desparately tries to produce Ballistae, but it's too little, too late. He saves his Demon Hunter as Halpmeh razes the base to the ground.

While destroying the remnants of Legolas's main, Halpmeh constructs a few Ancient Protectors at Legolas's natural, signalling his intentions to expand there later on.

However, it seems that either Halpmeh has forgotten one important detail, or he simply doesn't care; with all his Ancients at Legolas's base, there is no defense at home, and he certainly can't TP his Ancients. Predictably, Alacrity notices this and rushes in to Halpmeh's base.

The only defense Halpmeh has is a pair of Ancients of Wind and a pair of Druids of the Talon along with Snakeyez's Watch Tower, all clearly no match for Alacrity's three Hero and Shaman army, plus Legolas's Demon Hunter. Snakeyez rushes his BladeMaster over to help, but realizing that his efforts would be in vain, pulls out.

Legolas, seeing his chance to get back in the game, expands to Snakeyez's natural. At the same time, Halpmeh breaks off a few Ancient Protectors of his base-razing force and sends it to Alacrity's natural. He also expands to the lower left island. Snakeyez sends another Zeppelin full of Catapults to Alacrity's base, and all the while, both Legolas and Halpmeh's bases are being destroyed. Confused yet? Here's a little mini-map update...

Halpmeh's Protectors dispose of Alacrity's natural, just as Alacrity pretty much polishes off Halpmeh's main and Halpmeh destroys the last of Legolas's main. Snakeyez's Catapults dispose of Alacrity's Altar, but are driven off by a fresh pair of Wyverns.

The stage is set for the finish, as almost all of the players sit back and rebuild...

The End Game

Snakeyez makes a crucial mistake, allowing Alacrity to take down his loaded Zeppelin with the two Wyverns. The Wyverns then proceed to dispatch all but one of the Catapults after they land.

(By the way, how do Catapults get dizzy?)

Alacrity also makes a big mistake, attacking Halpmeh's natural while leaving only a Shaman to complete the beatdown of Halpmeh's main, which was almost gone anyway. The attack itself was not the mistake, though. Halpmeh's Huntress Hall was still at full health in his main, and he did not rebuild one elsewhere. Of course we all know what a Huntress Hall lets you build... Huntresses... Dryads... and what? ANCIENT PROTECTORS. Due to this oversight, Halpmeh is able to continue to produce Ancient Protectors while Alacrity's solitary Shaman tries to destroy the Hall.

Alacrity does add two more Wyverns to his army, bringing the total to four. Halpmeh rebuilds an Altar at his natural and one in the middle of the map (or actually to the bottom left of it, where you can actually build), and begins reviving the heroes he lost in the battles.

Team 1 decides now is the time to strike, and moves five Ancient Protectors, a Blademaster, and a Catapult into the right side of Alacrity's main. Alacrity rushes home with some Wyverns, but by rooting, the Protectors dispose of said Wyverns with little problem.

Once again, a concession is made, as Alacrity decides to eliminates Halpmeh's bottom left expansion instead of saving his own main, a gutsy decision for sure, considering that he has no expansion.

Alacrity wisely decides to take the bottom left expansion that he has just vanquished, far away from any Ancients that Halpmeh still has. Alacrity's standing army of two Shamans, three Wyverns, a Blademaster, and a Farseer, stand guard over his last chance of getting back in the game.

A "Reveal" from the Goblin Laboratory reveals Legolas's expansion in Snakeyez's natural, and Snakeyez quickly purchases two Sappers to aid in its destruction, though both end up being dispatched by Legolas's Demon Hunter before "kabooming." Snakeyez tries to turbo-newbie it with Catapults, but is repulsed by Alacrity's Wyverns, which trail the fleeing Zeppelin and manages to down it over water, destroying the three Catapults inside (The fourth was killed on land).

However, with the expansion revealed, Halpmeh's Ancients slowly but surely make their way over, while Halpmeh expands to Alacrity's natural.

Halpmeh's hero trio finds and attacks Alacrity's bottom left expansion, but are driven off when Alacrity TPs back. All the while, Alacrity's Shaman still hasn't taken down Halpmeh's Huntress Hall yet. Dismayed at his expansion's discovery, Alacrity expands to Legolas's old main.

Halpmeh decides that it's time to end it, and the Ancients trudge into Legolas's last base. Alacrity desparately tries to help, but the Trees are too much for him, and Legolas's final base falls.

Alacrity's final expansion attempt is caught by Snakeyez's peons, and he leaves in disgust. Legolas, seeing no hope, follows shortly.

Congratulations to all players for a game well played, and thanks for the very VERY amusing strategies =). Oh, and thanks for reading me... please comment!

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