TIME for an AMAZING battlereport on none other than...Warcraft3. But this is no ordinary report. This is on a lone unit. One man...NO. One orc.

This...is his story.

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The grunt was on a secret undercover mission, to find the secret gold within the enemies Castle.

He was within the pipe that filters the water within the Castle. He used his Codec to message his leader who was in charge of this mission.

"I'm in." Said the grunt. "I can see light above, and darkness below this pipe. I await only your command."

"Alright, grunt, go up towards the light, but be careful, there could be enemies up there! Don't let them sound the energency bell within the Castle!"

"I hear that. I'll do my best." Responded the grunt.

"Don't let me down." With that, the leader switched off his Codec.

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"Alright, I'll get out now." He said quietly to himself. He thrusted his body out of the pipe and was airborne for a little while.

He spotted a lone footman on the ground. "Damn." He thought. He quietly jumped on a small platform on top of the footman without alerting him to his presence.

"What's this?" He thought to himself. He looked up and saw a mysterious block that looked like it held something valuable inside it.

He hit it with his arm to get whatever is inside to come out. It jumped out from the force and the grunt caught it. It looked like a magical piece of food. Being hungry, he ate it. He suddenly felt stronger than ever before. He felt like he was bigger as well. He had no idea what this was, but he knew it gave him more power and confidence than he could ever imagine.

With this new confidence he jumped down right on top of the footman and smacked him with his axe. The force brought the footman down. He was dead on the floor. The grunt looked ahead of him and saw a large pipe much like the one he came out of at the beginning.

He thrusted himself to get into the pipe but then he saw another damn human footman come out of the pipe! He quickly brought himself down behind the pipe hoping the footman won't look. The footman went back down the pipe, seeing there was nothing there.

Relieved, the grunt got back up and went down the pipe into the dark basement of the Castle.

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"Oh my god! An orc! I'll slaughter you, filthy scum!" The footman in the basement said to our hero.

"Foolish human." The grunt responded. They ran into eachother and the grunt grabbed the weak human and threw the footman behind him.

He continued walking until felt the human stab him in the back with his sword.
"AUGGH!" The grunt yelled in pain." The grunt smacked the footman and he fell down a hole in the basement floor just ahead of the grunt that lead to the 2nd floor of the basement.

The grunt could feel the power surge from the special food on the first floor leave his body. "That damn human! Bleeding must diminish the food's power!"

"I better get the gold and get out of here before he sounds the alarm down there." The grunt said to himself.

He looked around, thinking where the hidden gold might be. "The leader told me it was on the first floor of the basement. It has to be here..." Directly above the grunt was a block much like the block on the first floor.

"Good, maybe there is more food in there." He smacked it with his arm and out came what was concealed inside it.

To the grunt's suprise, it wasn't the food but the special gold that he was sent to collect! "Excellent." He thought. "Now I just need a way to get out of here."

He leapt over the hole in the ground in front of him and looked ahead. Another pipe! He walked right in and he was right back where he started. He used his Codec and asked his leader for assistance in getting out, but just then:

"Ah, grunt. I've been expecting you." A voice from above the pipe said to him. The grunt got out of the pipe and saw, to his horrible astonishment, a bloodmage.

"You have our hidden gold, I see." The bloodmage said. "I don't know how you got it, but I must commend you for getting this far. Allow me to introduce my Siamese Children."



"I will not be pursuaded to give up your gold by your all-female sex orgy." The grunt responded. "WE MUST KONFU FIGHT!"

"So be it, grunt!"

The usual sounds of a KONFU fight followed, hia hia hiaw! high! high! hiiiiaw! hia! hia! But then a zeppelin came above the human castle. It was the grunt's leader's zeppelin!

"Get inside, grunt!" He lowered the ladder and the grunt hung on to it as the zeppelin spead off.

"This isn't over!" Yelled the Bloodmage. "I'll get you for this!" The bloodmage sat there, shaking his fist.

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And that's the end. Thank you for reading this far. Whoops! Almost forgot. Here is the replay!