"wtf i should get hit by a fucking truck"
- Hawk
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| I killed dem Zerglins bad | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 07/10/99 08:07 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | Starcraft(1), Text Only(1) | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 3, Min: 2
Lifetime Rating for Marauder_KB: 2.5000 |   | Hey man I'm like writing this report and I'm like bleedin to death you no.
Like I joined this game and there was like 7 people already in it. Like you know, it was supposed to be a 2on2 competition, but Craft ain't what it used to be dude. Then, the first thing that I crapped outta mah hole was like "WTF is all dem peepz chillin here foar?" Den the man was like "You get the F outta here if you don like chillin wit da men!". And then poor me man, my little jinglies were like hardened already, so I was like aight I'm in boyes. Den I just like heard the countdown and wes wunderin like "WTH is going on? WTF is da teams?" People of da 50s man, they don't like sharin info wit em newcommers like me. Den next this I no, wes I was in middle left on hunters, and my little jellibo realizes that It's a 4v3v1! Aint nobody wanna ally with my hillbilly ass, and I was like crying out for help man. Dat was it for me, but nowin my craze for bloodshed I decided hang around and like make a mess of things. Like I know they not gonna kill me first cause I aint the main competition. Then I started scouting when I came across yellow. Oh yeah, forgot to say, I was Terran. I just like seen some yellow dude stading there and mah troopa was like firin away his gausse at his ass. The big alien just stood there and started lumberin away slowly. I was like "This is for not allying MAFAKRS!" Since I thought, this was probably de onle unit I could kill. Then the thing popped spreading some red guts all over mah marine and the stupid troopa continued down da road to the opponent's base. Now, dont ask me why I was scouting because I know ther's someone everywhere in a ate playa game. The I heard some weird sound man! Oh no! I was like "Run Jonny! Run!" But it was like too late dude, the guy was like totally warped. I aint got a clue what was dropped in his meal last night. He ran straight toward with his gun firring and was sadly eaton by 5 cracklings. Then I sweared out loud again "F U MAFAKRs!" Then I check mah little town and I see like mah fourth academy being completed. I said like sheesh, don ya fellas take a long time to do ya homework. By da way mah boyes sleepin over at Bumbacluts home were awake now. That's when I heard the thunder! It was like BOOM man! trust me, you shoulda felt it. The sound rang through both corners of mah hollow brain. The same instance the lighting struck 7 of mah marines. Lucky me, I just poped mah 3rd adn 4th tanks out, and got seige redy. I put em on seige and watched those silly tankers outside mah base rushed by 12 zealots. I saw the 12 zealots head toward de Terran mon's base, and I thank god I'm too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of me.. and so on. Then I like built dem 24 troopas with anotha 12 galfriends. Then I through da whole bunch at the protoss base. I watched them go in with the gal friends going in far behind dem. The men man, they got like burnt along the way and the gals just waltz into the protoss base all alone with all those ole men around them. Sheesh, now dat was like Child molestationings. Ew, you shoulda seen it dude. half of them were like raped on the spot, and the other half just switched sides (how typical). Dats when I noticed, I'm one slow hillbilly. Just then something happened man, There was like this big rumbling I heard and then termites marched in! I was like swearing out loud mah third time roun "F U MAFAKRS" Then I saw mah people, from mah very own tawn, ripped up and raped! Mah firebats coulda stopped em, but they were at a barbecue down by the other zerg base. Ya do realize dis wa proably 0:45 in de game alredy. I was like "ALLY PLEZE?" but those dem heartless aliens, they don't care about us, hard working people who go home to f our promqueens. As I heard the last of mah buildings burst, mah heart was filled with sadness. I knew I sucked, and I couldn't help it. If you eva wanna play someone who really sux, msg me "Marauder_kb" you can find me and mah lonely frens in channel "cumz"
Hillbilly out KB FOR LIFE |
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