| By Popular Demand... | | | Author: | | | IP: | 65.167.4XXXX | | Date: | 09/19/03 08:09 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 8, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for BlueRiBBon: 7.4348 |  |
By Popular Demand...
....Before I go into my spree, If you would like to get a feel for my writing (I.E., never read one of my reports before, never been to Battlereports.com before and just clicked this because it was on the top of the "New Reports" column) or never read a Godly report done by ~CB~, or WWC3, then you can find all of my previously written reports Here or if you wish to read a Godly report, ~CB~ or WWC3. I recommend "Lurker Stew and a Side of Mashed Zergling", and "The Blitz over Lost Temple" of my own written ones.
....This report although influenced by several of my "fans" (I use quotation marks here because after being mentioned in my reports they become Immortal Being's, not fans) is not entirely made of WarCraft III. In fact its WarCraft III Nilla, and A StarCraft Report thrown right in before it. The two games are going to be A 1v1 game for StarCraft, and A 2v2 game on WarCraft III. The StarCraft replay was taken from StarCraft Legacy. If you've ever been to that site you know they do not allow everyone to post random replays. Only a few people are aloud to do so. This basically reduces the newbie replays that come in, but also is kind of like Fascism. I prefer Fascism. Any who! The game takes place on DUMB DUMB DUMB! Lost Temple.
....The Players I have never heard of in my life, but they have funky handles (This coming from a guy with the handles of BlueRibbon & EnTuBrutus). Blitz(Vision) drew a Terran at the three o'clock spot, while his opponent Stealth[KoW] drew Protoss at the twelve o'clock position.
....The Protoss Executor was quick to make an unorthodox build. He built a Pylon, followed by a Gateway, but no Assimilator, and scouted with his eighth probe. He scouted quickly to the three position and found his enemy.
....The Terran Commander made a very common build for verse Protoss. He built his Supply Depot above his choke, and quickly followed it up with a Barracks despite being harassed by a curious Probe named (And I quote) "ZORRO!"
...."ZORRO!" made a quick glance around his enemies stronghold. He noticed that the Terran man had put his Supply Depot to the farthest left of the ramp well still possible to make the common block. Some people put their Depot in the middle because they are cool like that but, it did not matter to "Zorro!" because his objective was now clear...
...."ZORRO!" quickly threw up (not literally... I think anyways...) a Pylon as to halt the Terran from finishing his wall-in. The Terran quickly took his gas so that the pesky probe could not take that as well, and possibly make serious trouble for the Terran Commander. Meanwhile, the Protoss Executor from below started work on a Zealot to go North to his opponents base to cause trouble. At about this time a bigger problem then gas containment took the poor Terran man off of his guard. Battery Rush. That's right, the worst kind of Protoss rush. That robotic little bastard "ZORRO!" threw up two Batteries next to his previously made Pylon. This causes some distain for the Terran boss man as he pumps a Marine from his newly built Barracks. "Zorro!" meanwhile throws up ANOTHER pylon so that the Batteries do not die to loss of power. Three SCV's work away at the first pylon while they wait for a Marine for support. At about the time the SCV's, and the Marine finish off the Pylon, big Mr. Zealot shows up, and promptly pushes that little foul mouthed Marine into Micro. However shortly before his arrival, the late "ZORRO!" bit the dust to several bullets.
 ....Blitz (Green because he's actually White, but that's the color of my normal font -_-) gets kind of nervous here, and makes another marine and brings down yet another SCV. They wear away at the other pylon well microing away from the Zealot who is always right there on their asses. Another Zealot it on his way when the Terran bastards finish off the last HP's of the Pylon, and begin microing against the Zealot. Endlessly determined to make his rush work Stealth has one zealot in production and has one in route. He also considers sending another probe out, and does eventually.
 ....At about the time the Second Zealot shows up Blitz is making a Vulture from his newly built factory to drive off the raiders but it is to no avail. When the Vulture comes out he does manage to land a few shots but ultimately dies to the power of Shield Batteries recharge, and the new Pylon powering them. The Zealot's succeed in driving off the Marine's before the new probe arrives. He makes the Pylon used to re-power the Batteries, and saves Stealth a lot of Micro.
 .... The Zealots destroy the second Depot sitting idly on Blitz's cliff. Stealth is making a decent tech now. He is up to a Cybernetics Core, has two Gates, and a Forge. He also has decent economy unlike Blitz who has been taking SCV's off to try, and fight off the invaders. Well the Zealots are wrestling with the supply depot the Factory pumps out two Vultures to try, and destroy the invaders for good. The Probe that was still there took one too many Vulture shots, and expired as well.
....However after some lengthy micro in which one Zealot was slain, another Probe shows up, and pops a few cannons down. This could easily be the end for Blitz, who now has only one Vulture, (one was just slain by a Zealot) and is now making tank tech. He has a Tank on the way, and Siege Mode coming, but will it be fast enough? Stealth again just reallocated some Zealots to the Terran camp making his total three.
....The vulture manages to bag one of the Cannons, but two more finish as the Tank comes out. The tank tries to run to the left to escape but is caught and eliminated before he could. With the Cannons right in front of the Factory, Blitz lets out a groan, and surrenders the game.
The Replay.
Game 2
WarCraft III: My Warcry: Ouchie!
.... The second game being brought to you in this all-star, rating of ten, report is a two v two on the map the Crucible. It was played in Nilla (I'm cheap, and don't have TFT yet). It was my friend IRL, and I against two random guys chosen by the "equalizing game maker." I call it this because often I will be a level seven, and get paired to play against people with levels of twenty, and in excess of twenty. Anyways, on to the players.
The Players
Team 2Noob4Sho
 EnTuBrutus. EnTuBrutus is my WarCraftIII handle. It of course stands for "You too Brutus?" the last words of Julius Caeser before his death. EnTuBrutus' best race is NE but he also likes Human. He chose NE for this game (Note: this was along time ago, and I sucked even more balls then, then I do now.) He gets Blue NE.
 Penile Fungus is also known as "Langolier" on Starcraft. However he gave the name up awhile ago. He goes by the nick Lang, and used to be skilled at StarCraft. He attended WCG Syracuse this year but failed to make it past Semi-Finals. He is my IRL friend, so I will bash the shit out of him during this game. He gets Red Orc.
Team VipertoBl[a]mo
 LeetoBl[a]mo is one of my random opponents in this match-up. He has some skill, and get the race of Undead. He is the color of my pee-pee. He also makes some random comments about his grandmother at the beginning of the game.
 DoMiNoUs_Viper is our other opponent. He is also gifted with the race of Undead. He starts with the color of my pee-pee when I get to close to radioactivity. He only says one thing the entire game. "Quit Now! Make it easy on yourself!" By which I told him to go die.
....The Map we played on was chosen at random, and was The Crucible, and is a badass eight player map. The bases are arranged in a circle around the map, and have a natural at each. They have creeps at their naturals, and at a different area next to their natural. Outside of the base is either another gold mine, (Two on the map) or a Shop (four on the map).
CREEPS!
....The Creeps are Lordaeron Summer creeps. These include Orge's, Troll's, Rock Golem's, Dragon's, Mud Golem's, Gnoll's, and Granite Golem's. However, on this map they are not all included. The natural's are defended by one Rock Golem, and two Mud Golem's. The opposite creep near the natural's are defended by one Orge Mauler, one Orge Warrior, and three Trolls. The shops are guarded by Golem's, and Gnoll's. The two Gold Mines under the bases have an Orge Mauler, two Orge Mages, and two Trolls. The untaken main's start with an Orge Warlord, and three trolls. Meanwhile the Merc Camps start with two Orge Mage's, and two Troll's, and the Fountain's start with a Red Drake, and 3 Troll's.
....Now as the game begins, My partner in crime, sex, drugs, and gaming, starts a fight about grandmothers with one of our opponents. He address's the fact that this kids grandmother sucks his cock regularly, and those gums feel nice rubbing around on his cock. The kid talks randomly for a few seconds so I saved so screen shots, and made a nice little collage.
....After those petty arguments died off, we started to focus on the game. EnTuBrutus started with a Demon Hunter hero, and started making two AOW Archers. My ally, PenileFungus started off with one Barrack's Grunts with a Tauren Chieftain hero. They make up 2Noob4Sho
....Across the map is our mortal enemies of the race of undead. They are plotting their evil maneuvers by both going DK hero. Viper goes for Crypt fiends well his ally Lee, goes for Ghoul's. First off is the team of VipertoBl[a]mo as they go to creep Leetobl[a]mo's natural.
....After the two Undead Warlords finished creeping Lee's natural, PenileFungus insisted that we go, and creep the shop between our bases. This consisted of a Rock Golem, and a few Gnoll's. We had some minor micro problems but we managed to eliminate the Creeps with zero-one loses. The creeps that followed I will not get into picture-wise because otherwise I will spend half the night flashing pictures about Player v NPC (non-Player Characters) so I will instead just let my text explain it for me right after this picture of the first creeps.
....After the very first creeping, each team branched out. Team VipertoBl[a]mo continued to creep the Warriors across from the gold mine, this time adding Viper's Death Knight, and another Crypt Fiend. After this was done they moved to the shop between their bases, and slaughtered some Gnoll's, and a Golem. Viper then invited Lee to his Natural, and Creep's across there at.
....Meanwhile, EntuBrutus and PenileFungus started creeping their own creeps separately. EnTuBrutus creeped both his Natural, and creeps across thereof. PenileFungus moved, and took only the creeps at across from his natural, and the gold mine below his main.
....The team of ViperToBl[a]mo moved to the southern most fountain, and defeated a Drake, and three troll's. Soon after with hacker maneuvers skirted the other creeps, and ran around to the left to just where my force had just departed to go do some creep fighting in the middle. My archers chased off the Death Knight and a few ghouls, but after I started creeping a Merc Camp I discovered what a huge mistake I had made.
....When I saw him turn tail and run, I decided to turn around, and camp the nearby Merc Camp that was right next to me. However, my ally, PenileFungus noticed the enemy run off, and went to fight them (thinking I was right behind him). He yelled "GOGO" but I didn't even know what he was talking about until his poor Tauren Cheiftain fell in battle. I turned around to notice a few Grunts were just taking final hits, and Team ViperToBl[a]mo was right on my heels. When I finally noticed them I quickly turned out the three Mercs at the camp, and tried to do battle. However, it was to of no avail. My POTM was being surrounded so I just TP'd out, and then had "lotsa splain to do.."
Shut up, I never said I was good at this game -_-.
....After some much needed bashing of me by my ally, and some resupplmentation of our forces we got ready to defend. I knew that they wouldn't strike me, and risk fighting the Moon Well's constant healing. Nor would they want to face troops in decent numbers as apposed to Penile Fungus who has about 4 troops, and no hero.
....I kind of just hung out until he screamed for help, and was ready to TP in at any second. It took a little time for Viper and LeetoBl[a]mo to show up, but upon watching the replay it was quite obvious they were cocky!
....When they finally showed up I TP'd in as fast as possible. The forces of PenileFungus was basically 2 Shaman, and 2 Grunts when I showed up. The Shaman helped out well by bloodlusting my Demon Hunter, and my POTM. After a few seconds my good friend the Tauren Chieftain showed up, back and ready for battle. Right about then my Demon Hunter took his own lance, and shoved it through his heart as he die. The undead forces were broken, and although lee Tp'd, Viper remained behind a for a few seconds, but in the end lost all but hi DK, and he quickly retreated via TP.
....We had inflicted great loses on the Undead, however they had done the same onto us. As we started to get back on our feet we started to recongize what they had, and what they were going for. So I'm going to give you a little update here for Troops/Heros/Strategy.
Update!
....The team of 2Noob4sho lost quite a bit. They still retain their strategems but, are numerically behind.
Penile Fungus has a Tauren Chieftain that is level four. He is going for Shaman BL, and Grunts.
EnTuBrutus has a level three Demon Hunter, whom is dead, and a level three Priestess of the Moon. He is going Archers, but is getting Chimera at home.
....The team of VipertoBl[a]mo doesn't lack in numbers, or hero levels, but is struggling after that misconformed attack that brought the game back to square one. They are still ahead in most area's however.
Viper has a level four Death Knight, whom is dead, and a level three Lich. He is going for Crypt Fiend with Web/Upgrades etc.
Leetbl[a]mo has a level five Death Knight, a very low life level three DL. He also has a level one Lich, but he is dead. He is going for Ghoul/Aboms with Upgrades/Ghoul Frenzy.
....After2Noob4Sho got back on its feet we decided to creep, and try and catch our opponents. I chose to move my men into the main next to me (eleven o'clock) to try and steal some experience from Orge's, and Troll's. PenileFungus wasn't too far behind me, and we arrived not long after one another.
....Well I waited for my ally, I creeped the Natural at eleven o'clock. When Penile Fungus showed up we creeped the "Main Creeps," and the "Adjacent to Gold Mine Creeps." After this we began to leave.
....Meanwhile, the team of VipertoBl[a]mo was at the seven o'clock main creeping. They were just finished creeping there when we finished creeping the Main at eleven, and they hastily departed to the North. They moved up to find some creeps, and attacked the shop below eleven at about the time we left.
....As team 2Noob4Sho left the Main at eleven o'clock, we noticed several units wandering off from the main party of Undead. EnTuBrutus gave a distorted yell of, "cREEP jACK!" and battle was ensued. We attacked the flank of the Undead army but unfortuently they were just finishing with the creeping of that shop. We were severally too cocky here, and refused to pull out. I lost my Demon Hunter AGAIN, and PenileFungus lost his Tauren Chieftain. WE succeeded in driving off Viper again, but Lee stayed behind. He chased my, and PenileFungus's troops back to my doorstep. Yellow now sat outside my base and awaited his ally to come join him again.
....Now what was left of my main force was One POTM, three archers, and a Chimera. Two Shaman also came to my main to support BL my men. However, on the outside of my base, an army of Ghouls, Aboms, Crypt Fiends, and Hero's awaited to attack me. With my expo finished I waited there to desperately defend it. PenileFungus had exhausted all of his men, and now had nothing to send to help me. I was on my own. Now against a horde of Undead horrors, I made my last stand. My expanse was overwhelmed by fearsome Abominations, and my men were destroyed by evil foot soldiers of the Undead, Ghouls. Their Hero's watched and cackled as my lowly expanse fell, and I admitted defeat.
Lesson's Learned
1. Sadly, don't wait til the game is over to expand.
2. Don't trust Shield Rushing Newbs!
3. Don't fuck with the master of ally savers, ME!
4. Don't do a double report again. It takes too long :L.
....And so concludes another Report on how battles are lost, and dreams die. Also on how Black men don't like Cherrio's :P. To end my report, once again, I'll show you some facinating pictures : ].
Andddddddddddd....
LE GG!
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