1v1 Lost Temple 
Hi, and welcome to Der Fuhrer's first Starcraft battlereport. I'm sure you all know me for my "famous" Axis and Allies reports, and for my infamous Starcraft battlereports under the name of CbK_Chris666 (which, even I admit, sucked horribly). From now on after this report, unless enough of you readers bitch and complain, I am going to link all of my battlereports to geocities.com. By doing so, I can actually write my reports without having to pause constantly to add in html. All right, enough of that. This game is a 1v1 Lost Temple between me and David Sherrick, whom if you already don’t know, is an experienced terran player capable of taking on some of the best on battlenet (Although he loses 90% of the time...why did that sound dumb?). After much trouble with my modem connection (the damn thing wasn’t even plugged in), I finally was ready to set up a game of Starcraft Broodwar. I booted up the game on my parent’s computer (mine doesn’t have internet connection, DAMN!) clicked on the modem icon, and immediately dialed in David’s phone number. After waiting for a few seconds the call went through and he was on and boasting that he was ready to whip my ass. I decided to create the game and chose The Lost Temple as our battleground, it being the favorite map of the both of us. David chose terran as his race and I chose zerg, with whom I had won many a game. David landed with brown terran at the twelve position and I morphed in at 6 o clock with red zerg. Before I begin the report, be reminded that I do not have the ability to make replays (that shitty modem), and the game went by too fast for me to take any pictures. Be aware that all of the build orders and events that happened during this game were all taken from memory and may not be exactly correct (SO SHUTUP AND READ).
THE BEGINNING
David: This game, David decided to mass marines and medics in the gay old way he usually does to try and swarm me over. He filled up his mineral line, built a supply depot, a refinery, two barracks, a supply depot, another barracks, an academy, and then two bunkers. He continuously added SCVs to his mineral line, and soon he had a roaring economy with 16 SCVs mining minerals and four SCVs taking gas. Meanwhile David made about 10 marines and prepared to recon the map in force.
Chris: Before the game started, I decided that the best way to win was to try to expand rapidly and swarm David over with ultralisks and hydras. To start, I filled up my mineral line and built a hatchery at my natural as soon as I hit 300 minerals. While the hatchery at my natural was morphing, I morphed an overlord and a drone, which quickly became a spawning pool. Following this, I made two extractors, a hydralisk den, two sunken colonies, and morphed my hatchery into a Lair. Meanwhile, I began pumping out hydralisks, and sent two zerglings to scout 3 o'clock and 9 o'clock respectively.
FIRST BLOOD
Five minutes into the game, David decided to begin his reconnaissance mission. He quickly gathered eight marines and sent them charging toward the three o'clock position. His men quickly toasted the single zergling that I had forgotten there, alerting me of the approaching danger. At my natural I had two sunken colonies ready for action when his first marine came into sight. The poor marine quickly died without firing a shot, and the bright red blood that oozed everywhere scared the crap out of his squad mates. The rest of the enemy retreated to the center of the map and gazed drunkenly at the beautiful temple they had unexpected come across. After this quick skirmish, David placed a command center at his natural and moved two medics and five more marines to join the men already assembled at the temple. Instead of attacking as he should have done, which would have easily swarmed over my two sunkens, David stayed put and waited for me to make the first move. Meanwhile, I had already filled up the mineral line at my natural, and thanks to this added boost of income I built another hatchery, and put a queen's nest underway. I also morphed my hatchery at my natural into a Lair, having decided that an early drop using hydralisks would certainly be helpful in keeping David busy until I could get my ultras. Six hydralisks exploded out of an equal number pus covered eggs and swarmed around my three sunken colonies, the third half completed, and awaited the expected attack. I was shocked to see that it never came. I sent out another zergling from my base straight toward the 12 o'clock position to see what David was up to. The ling never made it past the marines massed in the middle.
THE FIRST ASSAULT
At the same moment I got my Hive started at my main, the expected terran assault finally came. David’s assault force consisted of about 24 marines and 5 medics. The defender controlled approximately 15 Hydras backed by four sunken colonies, and as I saw the odds I knew I had a fighting chance. The first two or three marines that came out of the fog were quickly killed by the tendrils of my defending sunkens, the medics, as usual, arriving late. Fortunately for David, the medics didn’t arrive TOO late, and the battle quickly became a flat out brawl. First one of my sunkens exploded from concentrated machinegun fire, then another, and another, the last one taking down two more marines before it was finally destroyed. As I watched the last one of my sunkens explode, I could only murmur the word shit over and over. The marines pressed the assault, about 12 of them and three medics left. The 10 hydras that remained fought valiantely, taking down about 8 marines before they were finally eliminated. My natural was defenseless, the six hydras I had queved up ay my main still fucking around in their warm, goo covered eggs. The four marines that were left quickly toasted my drones, although one of their number was killed by the kamikaze workers. That left three. I thought my chances were good, and my hydras popped out of their eggs, ready to die for the Hive. And die they did, charging down the ramp drunkenly and annihilating. I had two hydras left, and the two enemy medics that were left were GHOST, quickly retreating back to wherever they had come from. I looked over my purple floored empire and quickly set back to work.
THE MIDDLE
The fighting during the middle of the game was static at best, some of my hydras trading pot shots with opposing marines and medics. After the first assault that had torn the shit out of my natural, I quickly made up for my losses, building another hatchery and morphing hydras at a terrifying rate. My hive was completed shortly after the failed attack, and I began construction on my ultralisk den. After my overlords had been fully researched I dropped off eight drones accompanied by eight hydras at the south eastern island expansion, quickly establishing a base there. I sent two zerglings to scout and try to find any enemy expansions that I could unleash my warriors onto, but they were both toasted at the middle of the map by siege tank fire. While all of the above moves were being executed by my forces, David had been teching up like a rat on Viagra. After his failed assault on my natural, David had built three factories, one starport, and two armouries. He replenished all of his forces that he had lost during the last battle, and placed them in the middle of the map by the temple. He then joined the 25-30 marines and 7-8 Medics with freshly constructed upgraded siege tanks and goliaths. This was the force that had wasted my two zerglings a minutre before and I was keen to take it out. To try and eliminate David’s rescource income, I sent four overlords loaded full of hydralisks and flew them toward his main via the 3 o’clock position. On the way there the overlords were harassed by a single marine that was camping out at the 3 o’clock natural. I flew on regardless, although I knew David was aware of the approaching danger, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to relocate some of his forces in time before I made my drop. I flew my overlords over David’s natural and discovered his expansion there, quickly unloading my 16 hydras and unleashing green death on the 12-15 SCVs mining there. The poor mineral workers quickly exploded into glowing balls of plasma that winked out in moments, only two or three managing to get out of range of my hydras. I reordered my forces to concentrate their fire on the command center, and it soon exploded under the relentless assault. But that was the end of my success. David moved up three siege tanks on the slope above his destroyed expansion and quickly blew apart HALF of my tightly packed hydralisks. Fully half of his army from the middle was also moved in support, and soon everything, even the overlords, were gone. Although I had lost nearly a third of my hydralisk force, I knew I had one a strategic victory by eliminating his only expansion (or so I thought). What I didn’t know was that David had a fully operational expansion on the top right island, and this would later prove to be my undoing.
Back at my base, all was well. I had just finished completion of six ultralisks, along with all the upgrades possible and 40 or so hydralisks, and I was poised to strike at the enemy massed in the center. When I felt the time was ripe, my forces moved out, ultralisks leading the way, and engaged the 10-15 marines and 2-3 medics stationed there. The enemy forces were quickly overrun, my ultralisks ripping the shit out of the marines at an astonishing rate. After my little victory, I became aware that something was terribly wrong. Where the hell was the rest of the enemy task force? Before the thought had left my mind, five dropships disgorged a mix of siege tanks, goliaths, and M&M at my island expansion. It was gone before I was even aware of what was happening. Apparently David had been building a lot more than I had thought, and my shitty reconnassice had fucked me over. Suddenly I wished I had built some lurkers, seeing as the enemy task force had no detectors whatsoever. Seeing as it was too late to do anything else, I sent about 20 hydralisks back to my natural to fight off the enemy advances that were sure to come.
THE END
With my remaining forces, about 20 hydras and six ultralisks, I set out toward David’s base. I knew that what it was going to boil down to would be a base race. As my first ultralisk swarmed up David’s ramp and collided with his three loaded bunkers and two siege tanks, David’s task force dropped off on the cliff above my natural expansion and began pounding it and the hydras running around it into goblits of steaming flesh. My natural quickly fell, and the men at David’s main were holding surprisingly well. Already, three of my ultralisks had exploded along with about half of my hydras. When five more tanks rolled out of David’s factories and assailed my beaten attack, I beat a hastly retreat, but not before his tanks wasted another ultralisk and five hydras. With my returning forces, I used several overlords to land against the enemy stationed on the cliff above my natural, which were quickly disposed of, although my casualties were too heavy. I knew the game was over at that point. Soon enough, an armoured spearhead from the north followed by a large swarm of M&M struck against my main. The defenders, a measly 15 Hydras and 2 Ultralisks, were wasted in a heartbeat, and I resigned my forces to the homosexual terrans moving on toward my Hive.
Before I close, I would like to point out the chief mistake that I made. And can you guess what that is? Recon. I reconned like shit, and because of that I had no idea that David had another base besides his natural that was able to supply his war machine. I would like to congradulate David Sherrick on his great victory, because he is never, ever able to beat me in Axis and Allies. I look forward to playing him again. Oh, and since you all think I am very attractive, I have pasted another picture of my sexy body in the report...enjoy! 
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