"OH LOOK IM ZILEAIS I GO TO MIT AND FIND IMBALANCES IN MY PANTS!!@# "
-hajooooooob
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| Two Boring, Average, Mediocre Reports | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 08/07/99 12:08 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | Starcraft(1) | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 4, Max: 6, Min: 5
Lifetime Rating for Slicer: 6.7333 |   | Note: This report contains very few long sentences and reads like a John Grisham novel. I'm still afflicted with YRM Envy Syndrome and feel lucky I can even write a report...
It's another day of SC, I'm bored as hell, and I realize that I'm not going to play any specatular games. So I decide to make one on Pinwheel. After muttering various curses about BGH players' stupidity, I finally get a player. Nifty.
Him: Top left Zerg
Me: Bottom right Terran
I feel psychotic and early tech/expand bottom left. He does the predictable thing and attacks with 12 zlings while I have 3 marines in a bunker and one just popped out. I put the most recent in the bunker and repair - the bunker actually does go down to 1 HP, that being the high point of the game. I begin to make Tanks and Goliaths. He attacks again and the lings simply die with me taking no losses. I comsat top right and see him expanding. So I can either play the short game or the long game. I consider the long game and play the short game.
Four tanks, 8 marines, and 2 gols push into his 8-sunkened base. Through my own stupidity and his zlings, two tanks die. Splat go the sunkens and everything else he pops out. He leaves.
I'm still bored, so I search the join list. BGH! $$$big game hunters$$$! NEW ICE HUNTER BY GIRL GUILD! (what the FUCK is that shit anyway?) *insert korean character-map babble*! Hey, wait, a REAL GAME! On Showdown! I join it, even though it's on Fastest, I know the lag will eventually put the speed down to what I'm used to.
Me: Top Left Toss
Him: Bottom Right Zerg
I try to tech too fast and he rushes me with 12 Zlings when I have 3 Zeals and 2 Cannons. The cannons kill two of them before he runs the rest around - I kill them in my mineral line and one Zeal lives with 6 HP.
I keep on teching too fast and have a Robot Facility and a Stargate. I make two Sairs to kill some OLs, and manage to kill three of them before my Sairs die from over-Hydration. A second after that, he attacks with Hydras - he runs them around again, I run away Probes, and a reaver that just finished building kills the Hydras except one - he runs it off, makes a Lurker out of it, puts it in my probeline ("Eek! It's a Lurker! Run!" - translated from Probish, and the probes will kick your ass if you think that's korean) and I have to wait for an Observatory and the observors as my Templar Archives was just finished. I make another Reaver, expand top right, and check for expansions. He has none. He attacks my expansion and manages to kill the Photon defending it - I drop a reaver to defend. Splat. Then I drop two Temps above his probeline and kill some probes. He gets wise and moves Hydras up there. I run off and make an archon. It dies to Sunkens.
And AGAIN, "Your forces are under attack!" My probes are fucking sick of running back and forth. He has five Mutas in my probeline, and I have an Archon. He tries to make Guardians out of two of them before he sees it. He doesn't even cancel or run away... I run a couple of Templar to his base and manage to kill some Mutas before they poof. He still hasn't expanded.
He attacks, rather foolishly, with Zlings right at my cannons. I don't even use my Templar. Two DTs and the cannons smear them into a fine spread of zergling paste. He finally expands - I drop a Reaver and an Archon. His Hatchery and single Drone are turned into blood.
He tries some weird shit with his remaining forces on the ledge south of my base. Templars kill it.
He leaves. | | Battle Shots! | 
Splat.
People don't learn fast, do they?
More Zergling blood.
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