"To each player I give a "Gold Balls" rating, for having some balls to do this."
-YourRoleModel
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| UpgradedKakaru vs Ghost~Kadizard | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 11/30/99 01:11 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 3, Max: 8, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for Kad_the_newt: 7.3333 |   | UPGRADEDKADARU
VS
GHOST~KADIZARD
The micro of a God
vs
the arrogance of a mortal
As told by the humble
Kad_the_newt
Greeting's, salutation's, and welkommen! You are about to bare witness to the battle of the century! Two of the "best" starcraft players in the world are about to go 1 on 1 in an all out, bitch-slappin, battle to the death! Both players "have incredible game skills", and should show all of us wannabe's how the game is played! Let's dive in with some opening builds!
(I must apoligize in advance for the lack of pics yet again. My new photoshop deluxe doesnt seem to be working yet.)
Both players agreed to play on dark temple. Kadizard choose terran and spawned at 3, while Kadaru randomed terran and spawned 9. Both players started with a supply depot on 8 and a barrcks soon after. They both decided to wall up there ramp and send an scv out to scout. When both enemy scvs reached a blocked in enemy, they decided to vent their frustrations out on each other. An epic battle took place in the center of the map. Ghost's incredible terran skills gave him an early advantage, his scv was ahead in hp 45 to 25. However, soon the microing genius of kadaru kicked in. Using some form of voodoo dance by spinning his scv in several circles, ghosts scv became dizzy and turned neutral. Ghost woke his bewildered scv up just in time to cause a double kill. The players were both agitated.
Kadaru: No f#$%ing way. You hack.
Ghost: Your the hacker. My scvs are usually invincible.
Kadaru: For that arrogance, I shall ram a tank up your bum.
Ghost: Hah! Ya right! All I have to do is micro my supply depots and your silly tanks won't touch me.
After some 12 year old taunts shouted out by ghost and some bizzare french cursing from kadaru, I tried to break up the fight and restore order to the game. Ghost then complained that my mom smelt funny last night in bed and kadaru told me my name was "le filthy shitapile" in french.
5 minutes later
After crying in a corner for a few minutes because of the nasty names I was called, I gather my strength and begin to observe the game again. Both players seem to have chosen heavy metal, kadaru is slighty in the lead with a starport have done and a few more tanks. Kadaru makes the first move, attempting to tank ghosts natural cliff. However, ghost has remembered to watch out for that this game, and stops the 8 marines and 2 tanks with a loss of only 6 of his own tanks. He retaliates with a massive tank and vulture attack straight threw the front gates of kadarus base. Both players fought well, but superior amounts of tanks won the battle for kadaru. However, his natural was in ruins. He rounds up his battered forces and does a counter-counter attack on ghosts nat, leveling it as well.
Both players seem to be fed up with each other.
Ghost~Kadizard: Thats it! Your F@#%ing dead! No one proves me to be a fool!
Kadaru: Parle' vu francias? Le up yours le bitch.
After another 10 minutes of taunts and calling my mom names, both players mutually decide to fight right now, in the middle, with everything they have. Screw expanding or making the game last. They are both determined to see who the true king of terran micro is once and for all.
What followed was a bloody battle indeed. A total of 26 tanks, 52 vultures, 49 scvs, 9 wraiths, and 31 medirines clashed head on in the most heavy duty battle of all time. Ghost started to get the upperhand in tanks, but a clever scv micro attack soon put an end to that. Kadaru tried his famous "ram the wraiths with 2 left over shuttles" technique. Amazingly, it succeeded. Ghost was so flustered he tried to attack click on the shuttles rather than letting the ai's do the work. In doing so, he accidently clicked to attack his own wraiths. Though they finally hit their shuttle targets, they had killed 3 of their fellow pilots in the process. At first it seemed like a victory for kadaru, till he realized the shuttles were full of troops. Ghost then tried his "mass stim down to 9 hp" trick again but to no avail. The weakened marines died to 1 tank shot. Both sides are down to only a few marines a piece and 1 shot will kill them all. Obviously the defending marines would win, being able to score the first shots. Both players run circles around each other trying to goad a fight. Then, to my astonishment, BOTH PLAYERS DISCONNECT. Neither wants to admit defeat or a draw so they double dis. Later, in the channel, I recieve msg's from kadaru
Kadaru: Please for the love of god say I won the br. I wont be able to look at myself in the mirror again if people know ghost forced a tie with me.
Kadaru: Bob, I know your homosexually oriented lifestyle. We french know many ways to pleasure a man. If you scratch my back this one time, i can scratch yours....
A few minutes later, ghost had this to say
Ghost: Man I really kicked his ass good huh. I mean I totally dominated him with my mad skills.
Ghost: Make sure you tell everyone in detail about how I sacked his man and killed him.
Bob: But you didnt win, it was a draw...
Ghost: Ya I really stomped his ass good didnt I. It should be a crime to be as good as me.
Bob: You didnt win. You disconnected to avoid the possiblity of losing.
Ghost: Yes I sure did win. Yes kak tried to disconnect to avoid losing.
Ghost now has his fantasy world mode running at 100%. Id have a more realistic conversation with a clump of dirt. So there you have it. Two "unbeatable players" who played a game to solve a dispute settled nothing.
Lessons Learned
1. Terran > Terran
2. Never play kadaru or kadizard EVER
3. Kadizard wants my mom
4. French people dont find me funny
This report was sponsered in part by:
MALT LIQUOR! YES THE SMOOTH TASTE OF MALT LIQUOR IS GOOD AT ANY MEAL! EVEN BREAKFAST! BUY SOME TODAY! |
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