"I am not Davy i live in the same town of davy and it is called a very good ISP! so don't get bitchy at him thinking im him IM not ill regret this but my icq is 35148232 we are on at the same time(actually im always on)but IM NOT DAVY so dont think i am"
-Davy
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| A text only about TRUTH! | | | Author: | | | IP: | proxy2.sXXXX | | Date: | 07/26/01 07:07 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 6, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for [SM]Strega~F: 7.2000 |  |
Strega Productions Brings To You: The Truth!
I present to you, the viewers of this exclusive report, undeniable evidence that his lordship The Overmind is, in actual fact, George W Bush. The following will be broadcast on a text-only basis due to security reasons. This is a transcript of a meeting between The Overlord and 2 of his Cerebrates, Zasz and Chaney.
Note: All comments made under the notation of [Overmind] are from his holiness. All comments under [Zasz] are from Zasz, while all comments under [Dick] are from Chaney. Any comments inside these brackets {} are actions.
[Overmind] Well, that was a close one boys! I came this close to being turned back into my primordial sludge!
[Dick] Yeah, it's a good thing we rigged those overseas ballots, hey!
[Zasz] Stupid idiot Christians...
[Dick] What? You're not going on about the Christians again, are you?
[Zasz] It's just that they are so damn stu-
[Dick] Shut up Zasz.
[Zasz] Yeah, ok. But you have to admit that they are pre-
[Dick] Shut up Zasz!
{A short pause}
[Zasz] It's just that they are so -
[Dick] SHUT UP ZASZ!
[Overmind] If you boys would care to be quiet, we can get on with this meeting, ok?
[Dick] Yeah, sorry sir.
[Zasz] Yeah, umm, it won't happen again.
{Crosses fingers behind back}
[Overmind] Ok, we have a lot of changes to make. Now, my predecessor, along with poor taste in lovers, made a few careless errors. Those prototype units are just awful! Why the hell should a single egg morph 4 zerglings? And those upgrades that they already come equipped with, that's not going to work. No, we should make it that we have to research them each and every time we enter a new combat.
[Dick] Are you sure about tha- {Chaney falls to floor clutching at his chest}
[Zasz] I bet it was the Christians that did that to him!
[Overmind] Zasz, shut the hell up would you! It's called a heart attack you moron. Oh, that's another thing! Rather than have warriors with no weak points whatsoever, I've decided to add some new organs to them. I think a vulnerable, weakly covered heart would inspire our troops to try harder!
{Chaney gets back up and sits down as if nothing happened}
[Zasz] That must've hurt! What the bloody hell happened?
[Dick] What do you mean? Oh, did I have another heart attack? Eh, don't worry. I have like 3 or 4 of them a day. I also have this new PaceMaker Plus! Restarts your heart in 15 minutes or less or your pizza free!
[Zasz] Wow, where can I get one? Wait a minute! It's not some sort of Christian propaganda tool is it?
[Overmind and Dick] SHUT UP ZASZ!
[Dick] Hmm, has anyone checked to see if we're being recorded? I think that chunky intern under the desk there might be a spy!
[Overmind] What intern? Oh! That's not an intern! That's my daughter!
[Dick] Hang on, why aren't we communicating with a series of indistinguishable grunts? Why the hell are we speaking English?!? Hell, why the fuck aren't we communicating through our psychically connected membranes?!?
[Zasz] Shut up Chaney!
[Overmind] Look, can we hurry this up a little bit? I've got 17 executions scheduled this afternoon.
[Dick] Umm... our troops don't have brains yet. They only do what you tell them to do. Why are you executing them?
[Overmind] Shut up Chaney!
[Dick] No, wait, this one really doesn't make any sense whatso-
[Overmind and Zasz] SHUT UP CHANEY!
[Overmind] Now, we have to come up with some new units, to make it look like we're doing something in here. Any suggestions?
[Dick] We could have a sturdy warrior with heavy shielding and 2 psi blades...
[Overmind] Chaney, that is the most absurd answer I have ever heard! I like it...
[Zasz] Hmm, how about a giant creature that shoots a long series of spikes, capable of killing many ground troops in succession. I call it "The Antichri-"
[Overmind] Zasz, shut the fuck up about these damned Christians! Either that or tell me what they are. Does this have anything to do with those new censorship laws?
[Zasz] Yes, it has everything to do with those new laws! They took away my pootie-tang! I want revenge! They must die! YEEAARRGGGHHHHHH!!!
[Overmind] Oh, sorry, were you still talking? I got a little distracted by these shiny little pieces of metal. Hmm, back to the new units thing, I suppose...
[Overmind] I've got it! We could have a sturdy warrior with heavy shielding and 3 psi blades!
[Dick] You simply stole my idea and added another psi blade!
[Overmind] SHUT UP CHANEY! Now then, if Little Miss Whinger over there has done being a little whinging girl who whinges-
[Dick] That is the worst insult I have ever heard! You're lucky I was around to write your speeches for you!
[Zasz] Hey, do you hear that? I think it's the stupid-assed Christians coming to censor our meeting!
[Overmind and Dick] WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ZASZ!
[Overmind] Hmm, I have an idea. Why don't we get a really large hunk of crap and cover it in more armour than my ex-wife, then give it some really big-ass kaiser blades?
[Dick] That would be a good idea, except for the fact that WE ALREADY HAVE THOSE UNITS!! They're called ultralisks!
[Zasz] Hehe, you tell him you crazy old bastard!
[Overmind] Well, who's running this place? Huh?
[Dick] Your dad is.
[Overmind] Oh yeah... Well, I'm gonna do something that my dad never would've done!
[Zasz] What, learn how to pronounce your adversaries' names?
[Overmind] Shut up Zasz! No, I'm going to add some guns to the, what were they called again? Ah yes, ultralisks. Yeah, those guns will shoot down anything in the air with a single blast!
[Dick] Wow, that's actually a fairly decent idea.
[Overmind] Oh wait, that wouldn't work though. The gun wouldn't be costworthy. No, I think leaving him completely impotent against air units would be for the best... Besides, half of my ultralisks are sentenced to execution in the next few weeks...
{Chaney mutters "Idiot" under his breath}
Now, loyal viewers, if that weren't enough to prove this evil finding, this following transcript has been made from data taken at a treaty negotiation meeting.
Note: All things work the same as before. Different people though.
[Overmind] Hello there Mr Kawasaki. How goes it in the land of the rising daughter?
[Senator Kawanago] Idiot.
[Prime Minister Sterling] Ah, President Overmind, I am sure you wish to resolve these issues quickly?
[Overmind] Hey, what the hell do I care? I could wipe out your puny little Planet in the blink of an eye! Umm, I mean, "Hi, I hope we can reach an agreement quickly."
[Zasz] Die Christians!! YEEAARRGGGHHHHH!!!
{Zasz jumps on Prime Minister Sterling's face}
[Overmind] Shut up Zasz! Oh, and get off of that rotting smelly little corpse of a man! How the hell did you get here?
[Zasz] The Metro buses are half price all this week.
[Senator Kawanago] Ah, gentlemen, I think a deranged lunatic whore is stalking you. And she has a stained dress! Oh no! RUN!!!
[Overmind] That's my daughter you moron! Eh, well, I guess she does look like a bit of a slut...
Well, there you have it folks. Direct from the press, so you know you're getting the truth! The evidence is undeniable! Scarily insane ideas, having no clue at all about what he is doing, the slutty and scandalous daughter, there can be no denying it.
So, rather than saying "Hello, Mr President" I urge you all to say "Bite me you Zergish moron!" What's the worst that could happen?
This has been an [SM]Strega~F BR (if you could call it that). I hope you all saw the humour in this. Basically, the idea that the Overmind is an idiot came about during English. Why the hell would a race that "morphs" it's units create the things they have?
Any sane Overmind would simply create an egg that accomodates 16 zerglings, all the skills would be researched already from previous battles, scourge shouldn't die. They should just keep on plowing into a unit until it dies!
Ultralisks and guardians wouldn't be succeptible to air units, they would be ultimate fighters. Unless, of course, the Overmind was an incompetent jackass with no brains and got the job through cheating. Well, that's just my 2 cents...
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