Now we're both feeling better :] As you might recall from the previous report, Anna Nicole Smith and Bobbi Billard got into a small fight, which resulted in a half hour long battle, won by Bobbi. Well, Bobbi hasn't won it all just yet. She's now got two more rivals! Fortunately, they decide against double-teaming (orgie) Bobbi, and go for each other’s throats. (Some sexy throats, I might add).

Before long, the match-up and battleground is decided. It turns out supermodels have the same taste as StarCraft junkies, and they agree on Lost Temple. Ali receives her sexy, purple toss at 12, while the beauty Caprice gets an equally beautiful hatchery at 3. She is wearing a orange top on her sexy Zerg body.

The tender fingers of the models grab the mice like pros, ending up in a few nifty splits. Caprice, the Protoss godess of sex, starts teching away merrily, warping a Pylon on 8 and a gate on 10, followed up by a Assimilator, spewing out green smoke signals saying "Sex".
Just a few screens to the right, Ali Landry, the Overminds new "toy" (bye Kerrigan) is doing a less risky build, the 10 pool // 10 hatch she uses is impossible for a toss to out rush, and as a toss player, I see it a lot. At 15 supply, a Extractor is begun.

Well, as you might imagine, Caprice's "high" tech, and Ali's low tech is bound to clash, and indeed that happens. Ali can see everything on Caprices ramp, and throws her early lings towards the hasty defense Caprice was building. A second Zealot was on its way out, but at the moment the lonely Zealot is backed by two *cough* Probes *cough*
The eight lings arrive and start hacking away at the now two zeals. Caprice macros like crazy, dancing the Zealots back and forth, trying to share the damage equally between the zeals. Even though this tactic is effective, it leaves some holes in defense, and three lings burst through, a newly arrived goon takes then out with some help from the dark ninja probes (pure sex). During the fury of the battle, Caprice started a Citadel of Adun, directing her tech towards fast zeals and sexy Templars.

The rush isn't over yet though, Ali is back with a single hydra and some random lings. That unlucky goon gets caught by lings, and goon soup seem to write "Not Fuxing Cost Effective" on the ramp. Zealots rush out from the Gateways and deal with the now added hydra threat. The Protoss warriors barely mange to finish them off before a new squad is on the way. Over the next minute, Ali directs every new unit to the battle, and the stalwart warriors of Adun keep battling, and eventually get a cannon up and working. Ridiculously poor cannon placement makes it less effective than Caprice could have hoped for, and when a full control group charges in, the two zeals and cannon isn't enough. In a sexy move, the hydras move behind the mineral line, where they take potshots at Probes. The three hydras manage to kill a Zealot before the threat is annihilated (now with the helpful addition of zeal speed) and the lazy Probes could finally get back to work, losing precious money and sexiness.

The constant attacks finally stopped, and while the lull lasted, Caprice made use of her recently built Templar Archives and warped in one huge Archon and some sexy DT's. Meanwhile, Ms. Sinister And Sexy (a.k.a. Ali) was getting her new natural expansion up and running, while upgrades like a whore. (Not literally. Ali is very classy).

Ali had the range and speed upgrade completed, and was pumping hydras out of three hatches, powering instead of mass expanding while Caprice was down. The new Zerg army soon headed for the much fought over ramp, and started picking on random zeals. Her fun was quickly spoiled though, as an Archon, a few zeals, and a feisty DT came upon the naughty aliens. The detection-less hydras fled while Caprice could finally expand. And research storm.
Ali was morphing her Lair, and later getting ovie speed to fight the cloaked baddies. She was at 1+ attack (range), as was Caprice.

The next move is again one of Ali's, she moves a big pack of hydra (around 20) to the Protoss entrance. Caprice, tired of being knocked about decides to break out with the fury of 400 male porn stars on Viagra *cough*. A storm is unleashed and Ali micros like crazy but is chased by zeals, DTs and a lone Archon (the one). The battle rages onto the middle of the Temple, but in a strange move, Caprice retreats everything, but retreats with an attack-move, leaving only a few zeals and THREE high Templars to fight, Caprice gets desperate and starts storming all over, hurting both zeals and hydras before she gets back her retreated army and mops up. The battle was costly for Caprice as her clumsy move led to the death of all three of her Templars. (I sound like some crime documentary)

For now, Caprice seems happy to control the upper middle, masterminding a substantial army with several DTs, zeals and the odd Archon. Ms. Landry on the other hand, is using her sex power to expand at the 9 main. Caprice is no slow joke though, and catches on, sending two DTs to the detection-less expansion as soon as it finishes. A good deal of slices later, the 10 or so drones have become bloody pool of crap, and the Hatchery is leveled.
Ali got the hatch back up again when a speedy ovie and some hydras came over and popped the DT's. In the meantime, Ali showed off some macro, pimping the hatches and getting the bottom half of the middle cramped with Lurkers and hydras. Just a screen above, the mighty Protoss stood guard, a few small skirmishes with dancing hydras on Templar hunts went bad, and it seemed like a huge battle wasn’t far away.

Since I've seen the game before, I'm able to make quite accurate comments about the future of this game, and thus the two fight-girls get rough. Ali starts the attack like any other Templar hunt, but this time Caprice strikes back and throws her warriors in un-orderly formation towards the Zerg. The zealots and DTs are faster than the huge pack of goons, and therefore, the attack becomes a weird dance of units as the 2:0:0 Zealots race back and forth, getting the Observers to follow, killing some Zerg and retreating when the hydras start dancing like Fred Astaire. Storms fly, but The old Fred Astaire sure knew how to dodge a storm, and so did Ali. The Zealots died, but Caprice had around 8 Gateways, and started massing goons, those goons soon came to the battlefield and with the help of some crazy storming, they cleared the middle of the 2:2 Hydralisks, only to be scooped up by ferocious cracklings constantly joining the battle from Ali's hatches.

Just some quick info: Caprice continued upgrading, and is currently at 3:1:0, that being Weapons, Armor and Shields, respectively. She expanded to her 12 mineral only during the last battle, and dropped a few Probes off at the top right island, now happily mining away. (If Probes indeed can be happy)
Ali is still at 2:2 ground upgrade, but controls a massive economical advantage, controlling everything at 9, her natural and the 6 main.

After the previous attack (attax), only a few Zerg units remained in the middle, and Caprice was keen on taking it back. She repulsed a minor attack on her mineral only, but lost all of her Probes there. She now moves out with a strange force indeed; four Templars and five goons. Can anyone say 'storm'? And that's just what the doctor ordered! The fact that twelve hydras charge the l33t pack makes for a interesting battle, Ali immediately spots the four lightly protected Templars, and go straight for them, but is forced to dance when storms hit. The Dance 'O Death gets them right between the goons, and Caprice just keeps on storming, releasing storm above both friend and foe, a Archon warps and more hydras and a Lurker charge in, hefty storming kills many a hydra, but alas, the last standing Protoss unit, the Archon, fell leaving Ali to wipe out the 12 mineral only and once again control the middle.
On a side note, I find it interesting that I always seem to make my pictures so freaking long that I have to type silly stuff in the end of this paragraph, just to keep the whole thing from looking weird...
So like, does it look ok now?

In a minute or so, Ali had spread her loveable creep all over the Temple, to the south, the 6 main, nat and min. only, to the west; the 9 main and natural. Her income was secured and it seemed like a clean up job. Her new Lurker/Hydra pack was soon ready to crack open the Protoss natural like a can o' chopped tomatoes. But Caprice thought otherwise and her new goon/Templar force was ready to rock! The 3:1:1 warriors headed straight for the front Lurkers, killing them with some sexy focus fire, having the surprise advantage Caprice had time to set up a proper goon formation so that all goons are able to fire, while Ali had to bring her aliens to the battle in a straight line, getting them killed quite easily. Once again the Protoss set up camp right outside of their natural. Controlling the upper middle while having sent swarms of gut-ripping (if Protoss indeed have guts) lings to the scene. Unfortunately, lings don’t like storm, and Caprice brought Templars to the party! The air crack as twirling beams of lightning soar above the lings and about ten go down in a big pile of blood.
With her 12 mineral only secured again, Caprice proceeds to build up a ‘Huge-Ass Goon Thing’. (See pic for more info)

Caprice is no fool, and after posing for the goon pic (and all the other pics) she went on a killing run through the middle, hydras came from the 6 main where four hatches were pumping shit, while another bunch of units swarmed the mechanical soup spillers from the left. Chaos ensued. with much sexy Dragoon micro taking place. Almost unscathed, the goon army prevails and moves directly south to the 6 natural and mineral only, in the valley they lose several Soupwalkers as they refuse to micro in tightly packed areas and end up wandering about. *Hooray for AI*. Storm is unleashed and shear brute force proves quite effective against Ali Landry. Soon, the 6 natural is downed and the Soupwalkers change directions. They end up in front of the 9 natural, the rally point for even more Dragoons.
Soon, the now fully upgraded goons wander all over the Zerg 9 natural, but the fact that four hatches are spawning cracklings right next to them help in the fast demise of the massive army. The goon juggernaut is finally stopped and both players take a moment to macro.

Before too long, another great Protoss legion is ready. ''For we are many''. (Tell me were that line is from and get something special). Anyways, aside from stealing quotes from a certain book *hint hint*, the Dragoons walked onwards to the 9 natural again. Ready to burst it off the Temple. Ali wasn't gonna be a walkover though...
The massive army once again gets into the 9 natural valley, and camps up, killing stray lings and some packs of hydras with nifty storming, suddenly it was all too clear what Ali chose for a counter; she realized she could only beat fully upgraded goons by fully upgraded Ultralisks! Eight gigantic beasts charged the legion of toss, acting as cannon fodder to protect swarms of lings. Successfully the lings race in to do some real damage. Its hard to focus fire on the lings, and instead the Ultralisks were soon cut down to two, but at the cost of the entire Dragoon army.
This great loss for Caprice wasn't the whole story... Cracklings and ultras soon stomped all over her base, ending the match, and leaving Ali Landry as the supreme victor!

Scores!

Comment you bastard!