ATTENTION! TURN BRIGHTNESS DOWN FOR BETTER PICTURE QUALITY!

This is the story of a man... who joined a tourney.

Actually, this is the story of me, joining the HnR)Tourney. The date was May 31.
I followed the normal routine of checking out the site. The news caught my eye, "Tourney this Saturday". Wow, seemed like a good opportunity to get my ass kicked, and to meet new people!

So I emailed Louder, asking him to sign me in. My feared name was soon up on the players list, with big names such as Sky.Harshness, HnR)Alacrity, HnR)Louder, HnR)ht and a few more. Hopefully I wouldn't have to face any of these guys in the earlier rounds.

The time had now come, I was in the channel a few minutes early to make sure things were going as... things are supposed to go. To my surprise, there was noone there. I waited a few more minutes, still noone. What was going on? It was now 1 o'clock, and I was alone in the channel, like a poor loser. Thinking I was in the wrong channel, I checked the info on the site again. "Tourney this Saturday"... June 8th. Damnit. The tourney wasn't this Saturday, it was next Saturday. Shit, I had just lost three hours of sleep!

Poor me, I had to wait another week for the tourney to take place. I just happened to go to my friend's place (yes, that idiot IcE-Dark_Lord) to play the tourney. He's got one of those 1.6ghz bombs with 100gb hard drive and 1012 or so RAM. He had his "Surround Sound" set up so I could hear my minions rip up the enemy easily.

The day before the tourney we got to bed early, one in the morning that is. I really didn't want to be tired, as I play way better when I'm rested.

Now the time had come, for real. Once again, I was in the channel early under the name of Inforcer[Az], and this time it wasn't empty. Louder was there along with the HnR bot. The channel was quickly packed. The brackets had indicated that my first opponent was Link-604, but that moron never showed up. Instead I had to face Resonate, I had never heard of him.

Here's how it worked: "players who lose 2 games in their group will not advance. If more than one player is 2-1, they will have a playoff".

If I lost this game, I couldn't afford another defeat, the pressure was on, and the mood was gloomy... not. Resonate whispered me the game name and password, and I quickly entered res1/res.

The epic battle was about to commence. Brace yourselves... for the ground will shake before the fury of these warriors... not.

The HnR bot told me the map was Neo Vertigo, damn that thing was smart. I had only played the map a few times before, but I knew pretty much where everything was. Somehow, I felt I had to choose Zerg even though my best race is Terran. I guess I pictured myself casting Plague all over the ennemy, like Tsunami does. I had started at the top right start location while Resonate had picked Protoss. He started up at the bottom left spot as purple. My plan was to take my cliff, then quickly expand at my natural. Of course, if Resonate could find the Hatchery on my cliff early enough, things could get ugly.

My hated enemy opted for a double Gateway build. He chose his cliff as his main production area. My longterm plan, if things would go as planned, was to go for a Guardian/Devourer combo. His plans... well, I can't get into his mind now can I? I quickly find out. A Probe had revealed my position to him as well as the Hatchery on my cliff. Soon Zealots had razed the Hatchery, this was devastating to my production. They turn to my main, but two sunken colonies scared away the Zealots.

Now the only secret left unrevealed to my enemy was my new expansion, just below my main base. The Hatchery had just finished building when a scouting Zealot came to rape it. Things were not going well for me now, as Resonate had fucked both the Hatcheries I built.

Resonate had higher ground advantage, so what I needed now was to retake my cliff. I had three Sunkens on lower ground, so I started a new Hatchery on my cliff. Zealots attacked, but they fled to the Sunkens. I decided to throw down a Spire, I needed air. I then spotted a lonely Drone that I had sent on a scouting mission earlier. I ordered it to morph a Hatchery at the bottom right start location. Resonate, too, decides to expand. He takes his natural just below his main.

Now things were going better for me, my expansion had just started cashing in. But I needed to defend it in case of a ground attack. I morph yet another Hatchery at my expansion's cliff.

Sadly... those pieces of shit Zealots come to take down my expansion, even though I had thrown down several Sunken Colonies there. So far, the game is pretty much a rape. He's been containing me the whole game, he smashed all my expansion attempts and my first two Hatcheries.

I still decide to stick to my plan of going air. I put together a pathetic air force of four Mutalisks and send them out, hopefully Resonate has no air defence. To my surprise... he had perfect air defence. My Mutalisks ran into a Canon and a pair of Corsairs. They also spotted two Archons in the distance, Mutalisks would be useless.

Resonate had a very nice army near my base. It consisted mainly of Zealots, Archons and Corsairs, kind of scary, don't you think? Having nothing else to do, I decide to expand. I sneak a Drone out of my base past Resonate's army and I send it out to expand at the top left spot. I also retook my natural.

Sure enough, Resonate's army has become to big to feed, he must get rid of some of his warriors. He launches a full-fucking-scale attack on my main, and blood spills as Zerg and Protoss alike die in the battle. Thank-godedly, the victory is mine, but I lose control over my cliff (again) and all my Mutalisks. My natural now starts to cash in, but of course, it gets its ass raped too.

Now I was really sure of his plan; starve me. My main is quickly running out of minerals and the only expansion left to me is the top left. The problem is, he just found out about it. So I put down nine Sunken Colonies and a Spore Colony, that should keep most of his shit away right? CrAp. cRaP. He sends in his entire army up against my huge defence.

The rest of the game was, basically, a rape. I tried to retake my natural, but that failed pathetically. The final attack was caracterised by many storms tearing up my newly acquired Guardians and Archons showing Sunkens they are bigger and better. I had lost.

Why did I pick Zerg? Why? Never again. In a tourney game, use your best race. What if I was Terran? EMP would of devastated the Protoss army. Seeing my last building blow up into blood, we both exchanged a "gg" and that familiar yellow writing came up on the screen: "Inforcer[Az] has been eliminated". CrAp.

This was just the introduction to my 3 part series of "The story of a man". I would like to thank IcE-Dark_Lord for spellchecking my shit, Resonate for kicking me in the balls and Louder for the tourney (I'll be back you fomo!). As most of you probably know, he's having another tourney "This Saturday". Check out the news if you think you've got the stuff!

Sadly Battlereports.com has been kind of dry lately, it seems that our battle reporters are taking a break! Common guys sit down on your asses and write up!

As a last word, Dark_Lord is about to release "The Last alliance: Part 2 - The legacy of a Whiteraven", check it out... it's not bad!