"Yes, Maynard did "maynard" his scv's over to his natural when he expanded there. Hmm, I should be shot for saying Maynard 'maynarded' , eh?"
-Dr.Zchivago
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| Teh Ring | | | Author: | | | IP: | 1Cust23.XXXX | | Date: | 11/23/02 09:11 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 6, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for mick: 7.8627 |  |
Warning - The following parody contains spoilers from the movie "The Ring".
Teh Ring
"Go see 'Teh Ring', it's scary as hell man!"
Following his friend Peter's advice, Joe went to the cinema that morning. The movie had just finished and Joe, not being the easily-scared type, walked out of the cinema a little dissapointed. He headed towards the bus station outside the Shopping Centre. The 20 minute trip home was a boring one, it seemed like the bell rang at every stop.
Once home, Joe unlocked his 2nd level front door, being the middle of the day noone was home. He headed downstairs to the computer, pressed the power button then walked to his room. After a minute of post-outing dressing down, Joe returned to the computer and sat down. During the trip home, Joe had thought out a clever email to send to his friend Peter - he clicked on the Outlook Express icon and waited for it to load.
Joe looked at the ceiling for a few seconds, but his attention was quickly drawn back to the monitor by the 'recieved email' sound.
"Cute" he thought. Joe figured Peter was behind it. Knowing a little about email, Joe checked the return address etc. Funny, all the stats were either blank or shown as question marks. Joe looked at the time the email was sent - 1:15PM... He jumped up and strode to his bedroom, where he picked up his pants off the floor. Joe reached into his left pocket and pulled out the stub from his movie ticket,
...finishing time 1:14PM. Joe remained calm and returned to the computer. He looked at the screen, "WHAT THE FUCK?" The mysterious email had dissapeared!? Joe looked in the deleted mail folder, Nothing!
Forgetting the witty letter he had mentally prepared, Joe threw together a short rambling and sent it to his friend Peter.
A second after sending it, a soft rustling noise like that of a plastic bag came from inside Joe's room. Joe got up to investigate - as he slowly approached his door, the sound softened then faded. Once outside his door, Joe opened it - slowly at first, then swinging it hard into the wall. Nothing! As he turned to walk back to the computer, the rustling started again. The sound seemed to be coming from somewhere near the cabinet holding his 59cm TV set. Joe crept over to the cabinet, the rustling sound still present, now clearly coming from behind the cabinet. Joe ever so slowly leant over to look into the dark space, balancing on one leg, the other slightly airborne and both hands on the cabinet...
 REOOW
"ARHFH FOR FUCKS SAKE TIGER!!!... Geez, you scared the hell outta me!"
Joe, gathered himself, picked up Tiger and returned once again to the computer.
Another email was waiting for him, this time not so mysterious in origin, Joe opened it,
- "Yo dude, what are you talking about? I didn't send you any emails today. Besides, I don't know anything about anonymizing my emails, sorry :[" -
"That's true", thought Joe, "He is kind of a dumbass, hmmm".
Joe looked down at Tiger, who was rubbing against his left leg, "What do YOU want?, get outta here" and with that he pushed Tiger aside with his left foot.
Joe put both palms over his eyes and rubbed them into the sockets. A few seconds later, the 'received email' sound played again. Joe put his right hand to the mouse and opened yet another email from Peter,
- "Oh I nearly forgot, what's the deal with this picture you sent me this morning?" -
Joe clicked on the paper clip symbol and noticed an attached .jpg file. He opened the picture...
"WTF What's going on?" Joe shreaked!
He instanly wrote and sent a return email to Peter, asking him to come over ASAP. The email was answered within minutes, and Peter started the short bike ride ot Joe's.
---
MEOOOW
"SHUT-UP TIGER!" Joe yelled upstairs to his young cat. At around 3:17PM, a loud knock came from the front door. Joe ran up the internal stairs and to the door, finding Peter.
"Thanks for coming over Pete, to tell you the truth I'm a little freaked out"
The pair decended the internal stairs and headed to Joe's computer. Once there, Joe explained to Pete about the goings on up till that point. Peter was skeptical at first, but after 15 minutes of discussion, the 2 related everything that happened to the movie Joe had just come from seeing. Joe then asked Pete if anything wierd had happened to HIM. Pete thought for a bit - apart from the emails "from Joe", nope nothing strange had gone on.
"Perhaps it had something to do with the cinema I went to, I was the only person in the..."
"WAIT A MINUTE, you say you went to the cinema to see it?"
"Yah! What, where did you see it?"
"Man I got it off one of those internet sharing programs. I then gave a copy to Jasss...."
Suddenly, both boys looked at eachother with the same thought,
"THAT'S IT! I have to make a copy of it, you're a genius! Wait, oh shit, the email I got said 7 hours, that was 2 and a half hours ago! Will I be able to download it fast enough?"
"Oh boy, it may be a close call, check out the size of it."
Joe opened his 'File Sharing Program' and did a search for 'The ring'. "Yess, there it is! Hmmm 90MB, It will be a tight squeeze, better get started."
"K, so what should we do till it's done? HALO?"
"Sweet."
MEOOOW - "QUIET TIGER!"
Close to 4.5 hours later, Joe and Pete checked the progress of thier download. What timing, it finished mere seconds after Joe sat down, still, there was only 5 minutes till 8:15PM.
Joe quickly located the completed file, making a copy of it with just 3 minutes to spare.
Joe and Pete both sighed heavy breaths of releif. 8:15 came and went, the pair retired upstairs to the kitchen. Peter still had one thing on his mind,
"Hey Joe, you say you didn't send that picture right? so, who did?"...
"I DID!"
Pete and Joe started to turn around, but before they could figure out where the voice came from, they fell to the floor, where they then lay dead.
-Ende-
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