Disclaimer:The following story has not been embellished or exaggerated in anyway. It is evident, after you read the text, that this requires no exaggeration to get its point accross. It is all true, and it is quite a distressing tale. This story appeals mostly to teens, but it adults can relate to it as well.
Now, let us waste no more time. Our story begins in a little town called Gorben...
. . .
My name is Brogan, and my life has never been in more of a mess. I am a sophomore in a private high school, and I can tell you right now that this is not the way I planned to live my life, say, one year ago. Last year I was a charming young man with a mind of his own (unlike some mindless media drones I knew) who was a member of the school band.
I'm not claiming that we were actually a good band. If I could describe it in one word it would have to be "retarded". The name of our band was The Cosmic Burritos. I think that's all the proof you need about that.
But I didn't care. Just the very fact that I was with my closest friends in my very own band made me content, and dare I say, happy. Ugh. It pains me to say that word now, "happy". I literally can't stand that word. Anyone who says it around me makes me want to puke. I don't like it, but that's the way I have turned out. Let me continue:
The band was my sanctuary. Whenever I was playing in it, I fealt at peace. I fealt accepted in a group of friends that I actually liked, but at the same time I fealt independant. That was my most important concern, then. I didn't want to be a drone of fashion trends or the media. I never followed the trends or fashions then and I don't now. That is probably the only trait that carried over to my "new" life. My independance. I treasure it more than anything else. If anyone here has read Cyrano De Buzurac then it would be my white plume.
I wasn't perverted either. I hated the perverted people. I was never interested in girls or women, and no, I'm not gay. I just had no sexual urges then. I hated porn and most of all, I hated masturbation. All my friends did it, and I did it a few times, and always hated myself after I was done and covered in my own semen. I felt so dirty, and so weak. I gave into temptations, and if that doesn't make you feel weak, then what does?
The Cosmic Burritos met once every three days in the Band leader's, George's, garage. His parents didn't mind, and let us play as long and as loud as we wanted, unlike the other members' parents. George was my best friend, he was almost like a brother to me. Life was great then. I was actually happy. But, like all good things, it quickly came to an end.
. . .
George didn't have a car or license, so he had to rely on his brother, Harvey, to drive him from school to his house. But when Harvey skipped classes one day to go out drinking booze like normal people breathe in oxygen, there's only one thing that can happen.
George died in a horrible car crash on that day. Harvey survived, but he his now paralyzed from the waist down, and in a wheelchair. I hate Harvey. He ruined both George's, his, and my life with his incompetence. I have had many thoughts of killing him before, but I never had the will to go through with killing a worthless cripple. I suppose its not a good idea, though. He's suffering more in the wheelchair then he ever would in death, anyway.
That is the day my life changed. I sold my guitar over Ebay to make some cash. Playing it only reminded me of my best friend's death.
. . .
This all happened in my freshman year at the public high school. I don't know why, exactly, but my parents made me apply out to a private high school that year. They didn't want me in the same school as Harvey, and I guess I can't blame them.
Long story short, I applied out and got accepted to the school. Probably out of pity, because my best friend died because of some drunken loser. I was very depressed and sullen for the rest of my freshman year, and my grades dropped slightly. There was nothing much else that happened then, so I'll skip it.
My summer after freshman year was the worst ever. I basically spent the whole time in my room sulking.
 
I didn't really intend it, but I slowly became a gothic during the summer. I always hated gothics, and I didn't really realize how gothic I had become until halfway through my sophomore year.
But could anyone blame me? I was obsessed with death so much that I began to think and act and even dress as a gothic. I wore a necklace similar to the one in the picture. I don't know how or why this began but once again, it did.
Another thing I did during the summer was visit a website on my computer frequently. I think most of you guys know this website, he's quite famous:
Yes, Maddox's website was very entertaining to me. I loved reading his articles about everything and how he hated just about everything. He's also a very fine writer, as well. I know he hated gothics, but I didn't even know I was a gothic then, and I still deny being a gothic now. I seriously hate them.
Video games. I could not possibly forget them. I had two systems, gamecube and playstation two (xbox can suck it). I enjoyed playing hours of Xenosaga and The Legend of Zelda, The Ocarina of Time. If I could be any video game character, it would have to be link.
With his nobility and the fact he was the savior of all people, combined with his awesome fighting skills, he was probably everything I ever wanted to be. Alas, he was only fictional.
And, of course, how could I leave out pot?
This loving substance gave me the fuel to live on with my life. I would even go as far as to say this stuff saved my life. Whenever I felt suicidal I would just smoke a pipe of this, and I would forget all about my troubles. True bliss. And they say mariujanna kills. Hah.
Soon, the summer was soon over, and my first day of school at the private high commenced.
. . .
You know how they say you only get one first impression? Well I'm here to tell you, if you heed any saying in the entire world, heed this one: You only have one chance to make a good first impression. I had to learn this the hard way. Only now am I started to rebuild my shattered impressions upon people.
The first two people I noticed when I stepped onto the campus were Monica and Jessie. If I had only one wish from a genie, it would be to redo what I was just about to do this very moment.
They ran up to me and started giggling and talking incoherently. I managed to pick up a few things from the garble they spewed, like "Are you new?" and "I think you're cute!" and other stupid bullshit comments. All through this they continued giggling. You people know what I'm talking about. Why do they do this? What is so funny?
I asked them that, in a fairly loud voice. "What is so damn funny?" is what I said. In hindsight, I would've expected this if I was one of the girls, but for some reason they thought this was rude and uncalled for. They quickly backed away to some remote area of the school. Good riddance, I thought at the time. But I would feel much different later on.
Some more people I met that annoyed the hell out of me:
- A pervert by the name of Alex who was obsessed with sponge bob.(How anyone can like that show I havn't the foggiest...)
- A midget by the name of Dave who turned out to be great friends with both Monica and Jessie. He was new as well, and I guess he had better luck with them.
- A fat ass computer nerd named Chris who was obsessed with Warcraft3.
- A black guy named Cosmo who thought just about everything and anything that anyone ever even considered thinking about doing to be completely and horribly racist.
- A hideous, dumbass girl named Lizzy who couldn't be any more ugly/stupid. She really is the stupidest person I have ever met, especially when it comes to current events.
- A hideous, very intelligent girl who sucked up to every teacher in the damn school. Her name was Moka.
- A smelly Korean who was 1 year older than everyone else. She stayed back a year and she turned out to be a horrible plagerist. I couldn't spell her name if my life depended on it, but it is pronounced "Song Hee"
- There was also Griffon, Ace, Bob, and Reggie. All of which were perverts, and I didn't want anything to do with them. But they ended up being my best friends at the school, because I changed a lot in that regard.
Now you may be wondering if there were any people there who I didn't hate. And there was. But only one.
Her name was Kerri. She was a beautiful, young girl with blond hair and blue eyes.
She also wasn't vain, and she wasn't a drone of the media (I realize I use that phrase alot, but bare with me.) like Jessie and Monica were. I don't know why exactly, but whenever I thought of her she always reminded me of Shion Uzuki from Xenosaga.
There is something very peculiar about these kinds of girls. They bring out the best in everyone, even if their best friend got mangled up in a horrible clash of bloody metal. The closest I've ever come to happiness or contentment in my ladder years is whenever she spoke to me. She is the entire reason why I decided to "shape up" in the first place. This is very hard for me to explain, but its almost like she is an angel.
I won't bore you with anymore mush like this, but I just needed to get that point across.
. . .
Another thing began to happen to me in sophomore year. I began to be interested in girls. Very, very interested, in fact. Almost perverted. Between gothics and perverts, it really looks like I had become everything I always hated. Not that I cared about it anymore. I began to masturbate to pictures like this, and have weird and bizarre sexual fantasies with the people in them. It was sick, now that I look back.
Enough of this shameful display though. Onto more important matter.
. . .
At this point, you may be wondering, "Shouldn't these people understand that you're depressed because of George's death?". The truth is, they didn't know. I didn't tell them, the school didn't tell them. No one did. I guess the school wanted me to be the same and fit in with everyone. They're plan certainly back fired.
I became a social outcast fairly quickly. Everyone thought I was just a no-good asshole for absolutely no reason, like Maddox. (No offense to him, just saying.) I knew this, but I didn't really feel like telling a huge sob story to people just to get them to accept me. Quite frankly, I was almost content just staying at home in my free time playing my video games.
But I got bored of them fairly quickly. Well, not bored per se. I would say that my need for social interraction got bigger than my need for solitude. I hated this, I liked being alone, but my body had spoken, and it wanted social contact.
. . .
I didn't know exactly where, or how to begin recovering from my anti-social pit of despair. I was wondering the halls when I saw something shiny on the ground. I knelt down and picked it up.
It was a beautiful gold-like ring. I found it near the locker area, and I then started to walk away towards my next class when, who should bump into me, but Jessie!
The ring was still in my hand as Jessie gasped at me, or it. I couldn't tell.
"My ring! I've been looking all over for this! Give it back!" She said, this time not giggling uncontrollably.
Despite the fact that she and Monica really annoy me, they really weren't all that bad people. I really shouldn't have lashed out the way I did at the beginning of the year, and I would really have liked to be friends with them. Nevertheless, I needed some money, so I refused and said I was going to give it to a pawn shop for some cash.
To this, she responded with a question that most likely turned my social standing around for the better from that day forward.
"Why do you have to be such an asshole?"
At this, it pissed me off so horribly for some unkown reason, that I erupted and yelled at her everything that happened the year before. I told her of the death of George, the drunken brother, the horrible band, the bloody mangled car crash, everything. At the end of it she was stunned, understandably. Jessie was the first person at the school to know of this, and I think it let her know my feelings, if anything.
. . .
The word of this quickly spread, and pretty soon everyone in the upper school knew of this. You would be suprised how sympathetic girls can get. Especially angels like Kerri. She comforted me for hours, and it was the happiest day of my life right then. I know this sounds like a crappy love story, but please!
Most boys gave their apologies for their rudeness to me. Like Alex for one. But there were a few that didn't, and I didn't blame them. I didn't expect this much attention from that anyway.
However.
There were three people who still hated me, and always will hate me, atleast according to them. Monica, Jessie and Dave. All three of them despise me more than ever now, and I shall never understand why. I asked them numerous times, but they never said a thing to me other than "Shut the hell up!" Its very odd, to say the least.
I became great friends with Griffon and Ace, then, mostly because Griffon could relate (his father died in a car crash as well) and the fact we were all perverts. I can't say this is how I pictured my life now, and it isn't great, but I will manage.
One day, the school ended early for once on a friday afternoon. I put my hands in my pockets as I walked past the locker rows and I felt something in one of my right hand pockets. It was the ring from about three weeks ago. I quietly slipped it through the small cracks into Jessie's locker.
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