A Bloody Little Protoss War

THE BEST MAP EVER V.5

Hi, this is my third report, and I'm going to keep them coming. As your going to see, I managed to modify the pictures so that you hippie AIDS infected fags that jack off to too much Warcraft 3 will be satisified. This game may not satisfy some people because of the map it is played on. However, for my 4th report, I plan to incorporate a very good game, use my newly learned graphics skills, and wrapping techniques to get me a 9-10. The point is, dont expect this to be a perfect report, and do NOT comment on the white that shows around the pictures. I forgot to fill those in, so dont come bitching when you see it. So, here is the report.

This game takes place on the money map The Best Map Ever V.5, where newbs rejoice and expierenced players (like me), turn away from with tears in our eyes. Instead of playing this game, I decided to observe while two other players battled it out. They were DF)ZakStrife and a weird kid who didnt say a single word the entire game named ProtossBoy, landing at 5 and 3 oclock respectively. The game began with DF building a pylon, forge, 4 more pylons, 3 assimilators, and 4 gateways. PB, on the other hand, built 7 pylons in a row, then sourrounded them with 11 gateways. PB also ordered in 5 zealots to provide some protection from any horny enemies that felt like attacking the 11 mighty straight citadels of the great protoss straight 2nd Assualt Core.

Soon after, an attack came. After PB's probe finally found the enemy protoss base below him with his life, DF immediately relized where the enemy was and sent up 6 dragoons to attack. He also built 4 Gateways and Starports, a Citadel of Adun and a Fleet Beacon. PB, on the other hand, set up another nexus, and Core, a Citadel of Adun, a forge and a Templar Archives, obvisouly going for DTs. For reasons unknown, DF did not attack the base immediately, and the 5 zealots charged forwards to their deaths to give the DTs more time. They succeeded. Just as the enemy dragoons charged into the base, 6 DTs popped out and ripped them apart, blue blood slattered everywhere, Dragoon intestines hanging from tree limbs and legs and heads flying and slapping some probes in the face. One probe reported that it took him over year to put one dragoon's body back together, so torn up was he.

PB decided that he wanted to counterattack. Loading 4 DT veterans on a shuttle, he flew the shuttle all the way to the enemy nexus and dropped off his fag hating warriors right next to the oblivious mining probes. With blades held high, and screaming "I do this for AUIR!", the DT's began to do what they did best. They chopped left and right, ripping begging probes to pieces. Then, after leaving behind 20 dead probe bodies, the DTs began to rip apart the homosexual Nexus. Try as they did, the DTs were not able to delay the building of 8 enemy starports, along with 16 scouts. The scouts grouped up and lauched their attack on DF's base just as the Nexus was destroyed. PB, panicked, hurriedly built 11 Dragoons. The scouts arrived too quickly, however, putting round after round after round into the enemy Nexus. It quickly fell, and then they began to slaughter the horny probes as well. At about this time, the dragoons popped out and launched their counter attack. Little balls of white light flew up toward the attacking scouts, and the fighters turned to evade, ripping apart 3 dragoons rather quickly. The scouts continued to blazed away, but then their flight command was burned alive inside his dieing aircraft, and the other pilots paniced. Miraculously, the dragoons managed to destroy ALL of the enemy scouts (no way!), and that defeat would always leave great shame on protoss pilot's hearts when it was discussed.

The battle was over, and PB, laughing his head off dropped 4 MORE DTs into the enemy base. They also began to tear up the base, laughing their Straight DT laughs. DF, being the fag that he was, continued to claim that PB had no more money, and that he was going to die. He was wrong. PB built about 20 more dragoons to protect against another possible enemy air attack. It never came. The battle was over. Slowly but surely, the 3 remaining injured DTs cut, slaughtered and mutilated. However, the gayest thing to ever hit the earth happened. Instead of seeing more DT action, DF lagged badly and was immediately dropped from the game. Immediately after, the Continue Game, End Mission thing popped up. GAME OVER! This has been another sexy battlereport by CbK_Chris666. The moral of this story is to put cannons around your mineral field, and to always have anti air incase of a massive air attack. Get ready for more reports by me. So goodnight to all, and to all, goodnight.